Pixtus - Photography Forum, Photographers, Photo Tips

jesswhs1323 · 12:58 PM

My nephew (who I am extremly close to) tragically died Monday in a plane accident. The funneral will be in Ft Worth at 2pm. I have a wedding when I need to show up at 3.... I cannot be there

Obviously, its a job I contractually have to do and in this line of work you really cant just take off.

My family doesnt understand and I guess I am just coming here to ask for adivce from people in the same profession.... What would you do? How would you handle it. Any advice is helpful

CaptainTom · 12-09-2009, 12:58 PM

A tough situation for sure.

I'd try to explain that there is no way to get a replacement photographer in this short a time span.
You'll have to find a way to mourn the loss in your own way and hope that they will eventually understand. I'm sure your cousin would have understood. Can you visit the funeral parlor earlier ?

p.s. I am familiar with the story and it was truly a tragedy. Sorry for your loss.

jesswhs1323 · 12-09-2009, 01:02 PM

Yes, I have been by my brothers side ( his son was lost) and will be the rest of the week. Its just the actual funeral I cant attend.
West's (my nephew) grandfather was also killed in the crash and that side of the family is making all of the arrangements.

I defintiely can be up there until the afternoon. Thanks Tom.

David Whatley · 12-09-2009, 01:08 PM

How long do you expect the wedding to be? I can cover it tilll you get there.

Wil_Bloodworth · 12-09-2009, 01:11 PM

Ditto on what David said.

- Wil

Rson · 12-09-2009, 01:12 PM

Ditto here. be glad to help.

jesswhs1323 · 12-09-2009, 01:42 PM

You guys are really so kind to offer. I dont think the groom and groom would be okay with me not there. I couldnt even ask.

Seriously thank you so much for the offer. TPF people have to be some of the kindest people in the world

I guess I dont know why I posted. Maybe words of encouragement that others would do the same and I am not a horrible person for working during that time. IDK. :sigh: Definitely hate my job at times like this... grrrr

HeatherLou · 12-09-2009, 01:54 PM

Jessica,
I'm so sorry for your families loss. Your not a horrible person for keeping the wedding commitment. Your family is grieving, and I'm sure when that loss is not so raw (it never goes away) they will come to understand what your doing.

If you should choose to tell your grooms what is going on, I'm sure there are lots of photogs that would be glad to help. If I lived closer, I certainly would. Keep your chin up and we will be praying for your family.

mmuhlenkamp · 12-09-2009, 01:58 PM

Even taking up some offers from the offered help would take some stress off of you (with you still shooting, just have few tag-alongs). I know I'd like some extra help at a time like this.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

jesswhs1323 · 12-09-2009, 02:05 PM

Thanks so much Heather.

It crossed my mind to ask the grooms to have 2 photographers take over formals. I have an amazing second shooter that probably could shoot them better than I could! However, my husband thinks it may look really badly on my part to even ask them and reflect poorly on my business. Its really so tough because the more I think about it I should do anything to be there.... but...man I am just so scared to ask them. I asked if I could delay a phone consultation with them on Monday b.c I found out about West's passing and told them I had a death in the family. When we talked later that evening they didnt bring it up at all.... So I just dont know if they would understand. :sigh again:

photojournalist · 12-09-2009, 02:06 PM

Family comes first. This job, like many others, will come and go. You should take care of your family.

11 years as a pro, I've missed many important family gatherings because of my job. Now as I'm starting a family of my own, I regret not being there.

Your clients won't be happy, but if they are good people surely they will understand, especially if you have some good shooters covering for you.

Whatever you decide to do I hope it all works out.

jesswhs1323 · 12-09-2009, 02:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mmuhlenkamp

Even taking up some offers from the offered help would take some stress off of you (with you still shooting, just have few tag-alongs). I know I'd like some extra help at a time like this.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Yes, I think I may. Not tag alongs though... I would defintiely pay anyone I asked to come.

Howard Barlow · 12-09-2009, 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by photojournalist

Family comes first. This job, like many others, will come and go. You should take care of your family.

In a perfect world, yes. Under contract, no. I agree, it is a difficult situation to be in. However, unless the couple agrees to a substitution, and/or the possibility is stipulated in the contract, he has a job to do.

People won't remember there was a death in the family, or, really care. They will only know you didn't show up for a paid for contract. And, that's what will become public knowledge. You have to protect your business, sometimes at the expense of family.

If you take a, 'This job, like many others, will come and go,' attitude, you will likely finding it mostly 'go'.

MDteX · 12-09-2009, 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by photojournalist

Family comes first. This job, like many others, will come and go. You should take care of your family.

I follow this advice. Family ALWAYS comes first. Down the road you will realize you made the right decision.

jesswhs1323 · 12-09-2009, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MDteX

I follow this advice. Family ALWAYS comes first. Down the road you will realize you made the right decision.

The more I am thinking abotu it I would only be 30 min. late for the formals.... I would still be there 1.5 hours before the ceremony. I have an AMAZING second shooter who normally is a main photog who I trust with doing the formals..... Contractually I am not signed to be there until 5pm ( 1 hour before the cereomy) Theyvadded time Sunday and we have not revised the contract.
I think I may bring it up to the grooms..... yikes.. so scary!