Advertisement in School Flyer C&C Please

[SGPhoto]

I need all your expert opinions on this flyer that I am thinking of putting into a local High School program that has the potential of reaching 125 + people. Half Page Spread isn't costing me a whole lot of money and I figure it would be at least worth it to try and get my name out there somehow.

What I am looking for is from a Parents Standpoint if you saw this Advertisement in your kids school flyer or not just from a Parents point of view but also a potential customer, would you want to at least call and inquire about my services from this flyer alone?



I would appreciate any and all comments as this will go to Print next week if this is the final design.

Thanks,

Stephen Gibson

[texkam]

You might want to do some research on good basic graphic design principals.

[elliottmm]

Stephen, here is a quick and simple version.


I hope this helps.... good luck!!!

[csa]

Paige looks out of focus and the text is oversized for a name/year. The headshot looks great-very glam. I think you should replace the candid close-up with a guy, preferably posed, most likely 3/4 for balance. The group shot at the bottom is dark and a mom would want action with her child primarily focused within a group of say 1/2 dozen instead of so many. If you are keeping the candid head & shoulders, watch your crop point.
Really nice job with the redesign, Elliott.

[Cajungaltx]

Elliot is 'the man'! Great makeover...

[SGPhoto]

Mark,
Thanks for taking the time to look and reply but your response doesnt really help me in what you think needed to be done or any other ideas except to research graphic design principals but I do appreciate your response.

Elliott,
Awesome job and you got PM.

Charlotte,
Thanks for taking the time to look and let me know your thoughts they are appreciated, I am removing the photo of Paige and using a better one that I think will compliment the design alot better than this current one, as far as the candid close up, I dont have any "Guys" unfortunately that wouldn't pass for something like this as all of the Guys I have in my portfolio are over the age of 18 and are "Models", the main reason I am using this candid shot is because this young lady is the daughter of a very good friend of mine at work that is helping me get an IN with the school so I thought it best to say Thanks for that help. I will also be replacing the bottom shot with a better shot than this as well and will repost once I get the Final Version complete.

I really do appreciate all of you taking the time to look and comment, that is another reason I still LOVE TPF, you guys and gals will help out and tell a person what to "LOOK" for beyond the obvious and as this was my first design of this nature for a program like this I did put some thought into the design but wanted to get others reponses as well.

Thanks again,

Stephen Gibson

[SGPhoto]

Copied the Design from Elliott (Hope you don't mind Elliott) and "Tweaked" it some using different Photos.

Which of the 2 do you like here?





Thanks again for everyone's Help and advice and taking the time to look and respond.

Stephen Gibson

[texkam]

your response doesnt really help me in what you think needed to be done or any other ideas

Stephen,
I hope you didn't take my response as rude or unhelpful. I just felt like if I went through all the design issues with this piece (Kerning, tracking, font scaling, balance, consistency etc.) you may not understand them. There is a lot of useful online info. that can help you see, understand and gradually develop a little better sense of design. This will ultimately enable YOU to design better and more effective pieces in the future. Something you very well may have a need to do from time to time. Think of it this way, rather than someone re-shooting a not so good portrait for me or explaining techniques that I'm clueless about, it would be better if I learned some very basic photography principals and camera functions first. This would help me to better understand "expert opinions". Good luck to you. :)

[elliottmm]

Charlotte & Katy, Thank you both... I appreciate it.

Stephen, in Marks defense... its true that most people don't know what Kerning and tracking mean... But I do understand that like most of us we want to complete our projects "now" and we understand things better visually.

I'm glad you were able to understand my visual explanation and glad you found this helpful!

Now, lets all have a group

PM Sent.

[toverman]

How will this be printed? On paper, you'll likely get some "gain" and the images could end up appearing much darker than they do here.

I believe Kerning and Tracking were a famous Vaudeville comedy team back in the day. In newspaper work, we more typically used tracking (spacing between multiple words/entire blocks of text) but always called it kerning (spaces between individual letters). Sometimes we'd cheat and adjust the leading, but that affects readability in the worst way.

[csa]

Todd has a good point. High school newsprint tends to go dark and often muddy. I would talk to the newspaper adviser at the school to see examples of what was sent compared to how it printed so that you can prepare your copy accordingly. Keep the contrast on the high side to be safe. Also check the dpi they use if it is submitted digitally. Definite improvement. Cool pics on your site.

[photopam]

I like the second one you posted of your redesign, but be careful of the font choice. The G in SG looks a lot like Glamour Shots "G" (I use to work there so I have seen it a 1,000 times). Make sure this matches your brand, keep it consistent with that! So important.

The images look a little squished too. And I'd switch the ball player and the girl at the top so they all face "in" just a little pet peeve of mine... Looks better visually and keeps the focus in the composition, and not trailing away to somewhere else...
Hope this helps some! Let us know how the final piece comes out.

[thehatguy]

Keep diversity in mind when addressing your market.

I'm sure that isn't an all-white school. Is it?

John

[elliottmm]

Stephen,

Did those files I sent you help? Let me know, anything I can do to help.!

[jeffreypkane]

As a parent - not as a graphic artist - I am always looking to do things at odd hours - so perhaps you could say "Call, email, facebook (is this now a verb?) text or tweet me" - maybe giving people more options might help?

Good thread, Elliott's work is really enlightening. Thanks for sharing.

Best luck,

Jeff