sigh.. if they have a slr they must be a pro. - my reply to a bride.

[jonnydonut]

"My fiance and I really enjoyed looking at your pictures and were excited to have found such a great photographer at a price we could afford. However, someone has actually been nice enough to donate their time for our wedding photography as a wedding present. I appreciate you emailing back and forth with me and I'm sorry if it caused you any inconvenience. I will definitely recommend your photography services to my friends!

Thank you
Bridetobe Noname"


my reply:

"I totally understand. I don't want to discourage you, but in my experience "wedding gift photography" just never measures up to the expectations. I'm not saying that your friend isn't a good photographer, however even some of the best and most prestigious photographers are overwhelmed by weddings, and after their first or second, refuse to shoot them again. haha.

I'm getting married myself in June, so I do understand how that will change the budget in a nice way for you; my fiance and I have opted for a free DJ as a wedding gift for the reception. Maybe because I am a photographer, but for me, (with the exception of the marriage), photography is the most important aspect of the day. It captures everything, all the hard work that goes into the day, those things you don't see and find out about later, the moments, the emotions, the people; it's fast paced, and things go wrong, they always do, and I personally wouldn't trust just anyone with those responsibilities. After all, cakes will be eaten, flowers die, dances end, dresses sit in a closet.. but the photography lasts forever, it's what you'll show your kids and grandchildren and what you'll hang in your house.

Please don't take this message the wrong way. Yes, I do want your business, and I am letting you know why I'm a better choice... that's part of my job. But I'm also just being strait honest with you. I'll make a deal with you if you'd like.. If you book me, your friend can come along, assist, and be a second shooter. I'll knock off the second shooter charge. Now you're friend is still giving you a gift, still getting photos for his/her portfolio, and you're still getting a deal, plus amazing photographs.

So that's my speech and offer. Like I said, I do understand if you opt to take the free photography. I do hope you take a second look at it.

Thanks for your time,
Jonny Carroll"


and in the case that her friend really sucks, I can handle weddings on my own, and annoying shoulder shooters.

[zebulus]

I had that happened to me once. I think people dont realize how important the Wedding Photography is. They will always regret it later on down the road when they realize that their pictures suck.

Then again, I often wonder why the bride who hired me didnt get someone better. Its because I was cheap. :)

[CaptainTom]

I think it was well said.
I hope she uses you, and if she doesn't, I hope she gets what she pays for.

[HotHolly]

This is becoming a BIG trend right now. I noticed if I am talking to the bride as a photographer, she only takes what I have to say with a grain of salt. If I am talking to her as the bridal consultant - she's all ears. It kinda sucks.

I think you were right to be so bold. Most people have no idea what they are giving up until its too late. The grandparents know. And they know its worth paying for. But everyone thinks GPs are living in yesterday, and dont know what the latest technology can do. <-- That there be the crux of the matter. People think the camera is taking the photos and it has nothing to do with the brain and fingers and feet holding the box of plastic and glass.

If you have any previous brides who ALMOST skipped the photog and then hired you - or anyone who did skip the photog and was disappointed with the crap they got - ask them for a letter of reference. We have done reshoots for people who got back a pile of crap. I have that testimony on my website and email it and a bunch of others when someone infers they plan on taking the cheap road. I got married with no money, so I know what they are thinking. But there are other options and there is just no substitute for a trained professional.

I think adding something like that to what you just said puts you over the top, b/c they are getting your sales pitch right outa the mouth of another bride who was thinking exactly what she is thinking. Credible and reinforces what you said.

[Mark Kaplan]

I've had a few friends ask if I'd shoot their weddings for them, they all get the same answer:

"I'll be more than happy to assist a wedding photographer if you hire one and he/she agrees, but I really don't feel comfortable enough to do it all myself. I'd hate to screw up some of the most important photographs you'll ever have".

There's nothing wrong with admitting where your weaknesses are. While I like to think I'm decent at event photography, I'm also humble enough to admit that I'd screw up a wedding.

[toverman]

Johnny, your response is eloquent but I wouldn't be surprised if you don't hear from her. They've probably already blown the photo budget on something less worthwhile. Let us know how it turns out, though!

[venchka]

It's been a big trend since forever. It'll be a big trend for a long time.

[jonnydonut]

good to hear the positive feedback. I thought I could have been out of line for being so bold. Of course we're all photographers here, so we're probably on the same page. I'm curious to see if I get a reply. I had nothing to loose at this point, so it was worth the long type up, I feel.

That's not a bad idea on the bridal reference. I've had mothers ask for references before and I tell them that if they go to my proof gallery to choose any wedding, and I'll get them the contact info.

[andyz]

From the consumer perspective, I believe you need to impress upon the bride and groom, (and their moms) that there is value in your work. Show them the quality. They need to understand that having the camera doesn't mean you point and shoot and get what the experienced pro will. Does the amateur understand there should be a shot list, special angles, and that there is posing to consider as well as a PJ style. Pros do this for a living for a reason.

I love the second shooter option. I might go as far as offering a challenge. Offer a very short bridal shoot for a comparison if you want to go to that extent. If getting the account isn't worth it, obviously you drop this. But if you are otherwise free for that date... Its all about the quality of they'll have to see for years to come.

[ilove2eatcake]

Sorry that happened to you. I know how you feel. I've lost a wedding or two because of this as well. Even though I emphasize the same points you did during consultations (wearing the dress once, flowers dying, images lasting forever) it still happens. I've actually had a bride contact me before about possibly editing her 1800 RAW images that she got from 3 of her friends that had their dSLRs at her wedding. If you think about it, pricing that would have been the same as just booking a professional photographer. Kudos to your response to her!

[mccls1030]

Good that you stuck up for yourself and sent that response. Chances are she won't hear a word you say, and in that case you're better off without her. Had a similar situation happen to me last year. You're not alone. Time to move on to the next bride.

[jonnydonut]

yep. too bad too, because she was gorgeous. model material.

[texkam]

We had a good friend shoot our wedding.

... But we wondered why he kept wanting to cover us in dirt and made us toast using water bottles.
http://moranphoto.net/images/index.htm

[BabyHopes]

Originally Posted by texkam

We had a good friend shoot our wedding.

... But we wondered why he kept wanting to cover us in dirt and made us toast using water bottles.
http://moranphoto.net/images/index.htm

[gmarblestone]

On a side note... i had this experience... i took some engagment pictures of a couple but i told them i wouldnt do the wedding not only because i am not comfortable, but because i plan on being quite drunk.... I recommended another photographer and this was the bride's email to the photographer.

"Hey XXX! It was so nice to meet you the other day. Brian and I had a blast taking our pictures and OMG have you seen how amazing they turned out? Grant has them posted on his website.

Anyway, Grant was asking me if I had a photographer [for my wedding] and I explained to him that since Brian and I are paying for the wedding we kinda have a small budget, so we were thinking about asking a friend's cousin who is studying photography in college. Now, after seeing how amazing Grant's pictures turned out and after seeing your website, I've decided I want to hire a professional."

You can't win them all but you probably don't want clients that don't think you are worth what you think you are worth. It's the job of a pro to TRULY SEPARATE their work from the turkeys out there. It must be OBVIOUSLY better than those charging less or free. I'm not there yet, but i bet when i am, i won't worry about people telling me about their free wedding photographer.

It is human nature to want something for free. You have to wow people into the fact that paying is worth it; break what feels natural.

G