The "One Ton Camera Bag":
http://www.sportsmobile.com/3_photographers.html
Yeh, right. More like several gas-guzzling tons at the tune of $55-75k. Comes complete with a 46 gallon fuel tank (they swap out the 31 gallon tank that comes with the E-350).
I'm sure I'd do something stupid like forget the excessive height of the vehicle as I cruise into McDonald's for my daily intake of greasy high-cal food. The sound of the roof crunching against the building overhang will certainly scare the pants off the person I'd be talking to on my cell phone while I trim nosehairs in my vanity mirror.