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Thanks for reading my depressive ramblings and making the effort to convince me things aren't too bad.
I perhaps wasn't clear but have just returned from 2 weeks in Europe and instead of a great vacation/anniversary. Events have left me confused, depressed and thinking of throwing myself in the trash next to the gear. It is so tempting to quit work today, head west until I run out of gas and then headbut a semi on the freeway. :-(
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Tim,
You've been shown a lot of love and been given a lot of advice from many here. However, in the area where you seek help we are all amateurs. I would recommend speaking to a professional. There are people out there with a lot more wisdom than us who should be able to help you through this. In the meantime, know that all the above and a whole lot more of us care about your well being.