Facebook - i dont wanna b yur friend!

[HotHolly]

So, what's proper Facebook etiquette if someone wants to be your friend and you arent into it? Primary example: My facebook page was set up to talk to my brothers and some friends in NY that are too lazy to email. They know who they are - its all good!

Anyway, the rest of my family all wanted to be friends too. Maybe I never grew up, but I wouldnt say the same things to my aunts or mom that I would to my BFF. Sooo...how do you kindly NOT befriend them?

I read an article about your Mom friending you the other day and thought it was interesting.

ACCESS DENIED! lol. Who thought staying in touch was a good thing?

[Cajungaltx]

I struggle with this too - finally went back to something that my grandma told me a long time ago... never write anything you wouldn't wanna carry around your neck on a sign...

Makes my facebook page REALLY friendly.... and very clean... lol.

My question is... for all those goofy people playing mafia wars, where is my : stop inviting me... I'm not gonna do that OR play like I'm a farmer either... sheesh...

[brad]

Originally Posted by Cajungaltx

My question is... for all those goofy people playing mafia wars, where is my : stop inviting me... I'm not gonna do that

In-frickin-deed

[BeccaJ]

Originally Posted by HotHolly

So, what's proper Facebook etiquette if someone wants to be your friend and you arent into it? Primary example: My facebook page was set up to talk to my brothers and some friends in NY that are too lazy to email. They know who they are - its all good!

Anyway, the rest of my family all wanted to be friends too. Maybe I never grew up, but I wouldnt say the same things to my aunts or mom that I would to my BFF. Sooo...how do you kindly NOT befriend them?

I read an article about your Mom friending you the other day and thought it was interesting.

ACCESS DENIED! lol. Who thought staying in touch was a good thing?

i just deny. lol - half the time people dont even notice. hahaha

Originally Posted by Cajungaltx

I struggle with this too - finally went back to something that my grandma told me a long time ago... never write anything you wouldn't wanna carry around your neck on a sign...

Makes my facebook page REALLY friendly.... and very clean... lol.

My question is... for all those goofy people playing mafia wars, where is my : stop inviting me... I'm not gonna do that OR play like I'm a farmer either... sheesh...

you can ignore the apps. i think they're annoying too, even tho i play them (well, like 1), so i block them from posting anything.

[DMasters]

I would probably set up 2 accounts. One for moms, grandmas, aunts, etc and one for friends. It used to be that only younger folks were facebooking and myspace-ing, but now all ages are getting into it. My best friend's son is in Iraq and we use facebook to stay in touch with him. I also have a cousin in Arkansas that I keep tabs on thru facebook, but then I'm an old fat chick who's most exciting events include grandchildren and twice a year trips to Gruene Hall!

[L Stegall]

You say the things to you would "only" say to your BFF in an email and you post things publicly that, as Donna says, you wouldn't mind seeing on the news or saying to your mom or aunt (that's the way I approach my FB page, anyway). As an aunt, I wanted to be "friends" with my nephews, who live across the country and I don't see often. I just wanted to feel more connected to their daily lives and see their stupid pictures. My 16 year old nephew friended me for a week and then blocked me and, while I understand why, it still hurt my feelings a little bit. I wish he would have said that he just wanted to BS with his friends and not have an aunt reading it. On the other hand, I read things I should not have and now don't want to be in a position to know things my sister does not. It might be one thing to set up a "block" from the get go, so they don't know you are on FB, but once they know and want to friend you, I don't see a graceful way out.

L Stegall added 1 Minutes and 17 Seconds later...Double Post Merged Below

Oh, and all that other junk about figuring out your birth numbers or who would play you in a movie or what city I would be if I were a city, etc., yes, please stop filling up my box with it. That was not what I signed up for.

[Cajungaltx]

Originally Posted by L Stegall

You say the things to you would "only" say to your BFF in an email and you post things publicly that, as Donna says, you wouldn't mind seeing on the news or saying to your mom or aunt (that's the way I approach my FB page, anyway). As an aunt, I wanted to be "friends" with my nephews, who live across the country and I don't see often. I just wanted to feel more connected to their daily lives and see their stupid pictures. My 16 year old nephew friended me for a week and then blocked me and, while I understand why, it still hurt my feelings a little bit. I wish he would have said that he just wanted to BS with his friends and not have an aunt reading it. On the other hand, I read things I should not have and now don't want to be in a position to know things my sister does not. It might be one thing to set up a "block" from the get go, so they don't know you are on FB, but once they know and want to friend you, I don't see a graceful way out.

Oh boy - tell me about it. I'm friends with some of the seniors from my daughter's school - because I did their senior portraits. And seriously - I want to have a long talk with their parents, cause - OMG - do you KNOW what your kids is doing??????? Apparently NOT!!!

[L Stegall]

Yes, there was lots of email chatter among my friends about various nieces and nephews and what they post and why they don't want anyone seeing their FB pages. Uh, hello, colleges and employers read this stuff.....duh........not too smart.

[RobyMD]

If I know the person in real life it's hard for me to say no, so i haven't. Sucks...

There are those that know "old" Roby (bad boy), as well as some church members and kids from my youth group. hmmmm. I try to keep it as everyone friendly as possible but ever now and then I forget i let the lady from HR in also. Sucker!

I was told there is a way to can permission who see what. I haven't found such a way yet but here is to hoping...

[ChuckW]

+ 1 on the struggle part; also, how do you politely un-friend someone who is already your friend? Sometimes a person picks up new friends on Facebook because they have some temporary common interest like a class reunion, a wedding, etc. After that event is over you may no longer care what is going on in their lives, or they care about what is going on in your life!

[HotHolly]

Im not 16, so its not like Im saying/ doing bad stuff. Its more the ramblings like I post in here or say things to irritate my brothers. lol. Its fun.

But I dont talk the same way to people my age as I do with my elders. Its disrespectful. Ya know - like I wouldnt say 'crap' to someone more than 10 years older than me. My mannerisms change as a sign of respect.

The older peeps would have a stroke. Nevermind my snarky comments to my brothers. Which they deal right back, which is expected in my family. The sexist thing that the women are supposed to be polite all the time - lol, I might shock the hell out of them. I know they suspect, but why go through that drama every day if I befriend them and now they know? lol.

So...someone can tell if you unfriend them?

[crazeazn]

you can adjust the privacy settings per person i think?

[JohnT]

+1 what Donna said.

There are people that I barely knew in high school 30 years ago, who find me on FB through mutual friends. They'll send me a Friend Request, and I'll think, Hmmm... I don't really know you except as maybe a vague acquaintance. So the request sits there until I figure out what I want to do with it.

[L Stegall]

Originally Posted by JohnT

+1 what Donna said.

There are people that I barely knew in high school 30 years ago, who find me on FB through mutual friends. They'll send me a Friend Request, and I'll think, Hmmm... I don't really know you except as maybe a vague acquaintance. So the request sits there until I figure out what I want to do with it.

I was very surprised about getting "friend" requests from people who did not lower themselves to speak to me in high school. I guess the ups and downs in life over 30 years have loosened the "cool people clique."

I've pretty much friended everyone that has requested it (and who I know or remember), as even if I didn't know them well in high school, it's been interesting to see where they are and what they are doing. Now, I will confess that one woman I was good friends with in high school and who I recently reconnected with has such different opinions on politics, religion, you name it that we would not be good friends today. I have not wanted to confront her on some of the things she posts, but if I continue to find them offensive, I'll have to figure out a diplomatic way to "unfriend" her. For now, I just ignore them.

@ Holly, since there is little chance my elderly relatives will join FB, I guess I'm the "older" generation in my family - that's sobering. My daughter-in-law "friended" me - I've wondered if she censors what she says because of it.

[DMasters]

LOL, my nieces and nephews are either teens or early to mid twenty-somethings. Sometimes I don't want to know all of their activities. Too scary! That being said, I don't mention anything that goes on between them and their friends that I see on their pages, but it makes me feel good that they trust me with that much info. My grown kids use it to share pics of the grandkids and things that are going on in their lives with the family, and occasionally will forget mom checks in and let some language fly that I'm not that crazy about, but mostly just keeping in touch. I think they use texting more for communicating with friends.