Advice for Women

[David Whatley]

1. Aspire to be Barbie - the bitch has everything.

2. If the shoe fits - buy them in every color.

3. Take life with a pinch of salt... A wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila.

4. In need of a support group? - Cocktail hour with the girls!

5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days).

6. When life gets you down - just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.

7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality.

8. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.

9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.

10. Don't get your knickers in a knot; it solves nothing and makes you walk funny.

11. When life gives you lemons in 2009 - turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka.

12. Remember where ever there is a good looking; sweet, single or married man there is some woman tired of his bull****!

13. Keep your chin up, only the first 40 years of parenthood are the hardest.

14. If it has Tires or Testicles it's gonna give you trouble.

15. By the time a women realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she's wrong.

[carrbowl]

I can identify with too many of those....

[dsjsws]

David,

Thanks for posting and reminding us again of a great list. I liked or at least didn't mind 1-14...
#15 - oh so true...

Thanks,

Donna

[Jenny Z]

I can't really identify with any of those, except maybe #11.

[carrbowl]

#12 is mine...my husband is sooooo laid back...easy going...every loves him. Well guess who is picking up all the crap ??? She's gotten reallly tired in the last year...it's making him a little more cranky...it's funny watching people's reactions!!

[jgrindal]

Advice for Men: If it floats, flies or f#@!s, RENT IT.

[CFord]

Originally Posted by jgrindal

Advice for Men: If it floats, flies or f#@!s, RENT IT.

Where is that popcorn smilie?

[jgrindal]

Originally Posted by CFord

Where is that popcorn smilie?

Men are like Laxatives - They irritate the crap out of you.

Men are like Bananas - The older they get, the less firm they are.

Men are like Weather - Nothing can be done to change them.

Men are like Blenders - You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

Men are like Chocolate Bars - Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

Men are like Commercials - You can't believe a word they say.

Men are like Department Stores - Their clothes are always 1/2 off!

Men are like Government Bonds - They take soooooooo long to mature.

Men are like Mascara - They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like Popcorn - They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Men are like Snowstorms - You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

Men are like Lava Lamps - Fun to look at, but not very bright.

Men are like Parking Spots - All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

[tc95]

LOL....at least I got a laugh out of all these....!!!

[photonewb]

11. When life gives you lemons in 2009 - turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka.

whatever you do don't try to sell it without a business license...