I am going to chew off my own leg

[Murph]

Got suckered (Sorry, I was a good husband), and ended up going shopping with the wife and girls. 15 minutes into it, I was ready to chew off my own leg in order to escape. Ladies, can you please understand that shopping is NOT an Olympic sport that requires a man to tell you; "No, that does not make you look fat", "I really prefer the green one, but try on some others", "No honey, I love spending time with you....."

Fortunately, I managed to escape to the Barnes and Noble for a while, and then after an hour started calling her that I needed to go home so that I could wax the dogs, and buff the garage floor and things like that. She had mercy on me $300 later, and I was able to get home before the shopping trip started again. So all I need to shop for now is a mannequin with a voice chip that says things like: "Yes, honey it looks good on you", etc.

[Redneck]

I'm totally with you.

[KenJulio]

You can always ask her to take a pic of herself in the mirror with her cell and MMS you, and of course your standard reply being, "Yes, honey it looks good on you"

[donlfaulkner]

[Hogleg 44]

.....and why is it, in the grocery store, that the lady has to examine the label on every different brand of ...(whatever)... before she buys exactly the same brand that she bought the last 10 trips...?

[ka5txl]

Originally Posted by Hogleg 44

.....and why is it, in the grocery store, that the lady has to examine the label on every different brand of ...(whatever)... before she buys exactly the same brand that she bought the last 10 trips...?

Too see if the manufacturer has taken it from a 6.5 oz to 6.125 oz to a 6 oz can of tuna, or a 16oz to 13oz or 11oz can of coffee.

[Cajungaltx]

Murph - my husband would give you a long discussion on the benefits of shopping 'with' your wife/daughters - versus drug kicking and screaming... lol. We have a 12 year old - and in HER eyes - dad is definitely the person's opinion you want for clothing. There ain't nothing 'girlie' about him... lol... but he knows what looks good.

If I had my preference, jeans & a tshirt would do me quite nicely... but because he goes with me, I have quite a few things that 'he' likes to see me wear... and as he's said...there are definite benefits to it... if you approach it right.

It is always quite amazing how much I absolutely adore him when we are a some store getting something - usually a woman's clothing store - and a woman makes the comment that her husband would NEVER go shopping for clothes with her.

I think every woman I've ever met, with very few exceptions, wants to know their husband/SO thinks they are beautiful. When they ask your opinion - it's cause they want to know that you still find them attractive... if it didn't matter... they wouldn't ask. I don't know why men don't get that concept sometimes. Men are visual... woman know that... I don't think we 'get' it to the degree that you are... but if she's making an effort to look good... for YOU a times... you could be well rewarded to be appropriately appreciative in my opinion...

Just my 2 cents... go chew your leg off... *grin*

[PhotoByLeal]

this is is what I dooooo

[Toad]

I hate going to ANY store with my wife because she takes FOR-EV-ER. Like 2 hours at the frickin target.
So... I tell her this when she wants me to go to the store. "Fine... I will go with you to ______, but I'm timing it. I won't hurry you at all, I won't mention how long it's taking or anything. But however long you take in there is how long you have to follow me around ______ (Best Buy or some other store I like but she doesn't)."
Her following me around the Best Buy for an hour and a half keeps her from dragging me anywhere anymore. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

[Murph]

My attitude is my wife is beautiful to me, and I could not match two colors with a hand grenade, so its silly to try and take me shopping. Last time she asked me; "Does this make me look fat?" I said "Yes", she was pissed for the next three days. And here are the rules:
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are Don't ask us.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if can find the perfect present, again!
5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect answer you don't want to hear.
6. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
7. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.
9. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.
10. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
11. Shopping is not a sport.
12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
13. You have enough clothes.
14. You have too many shoes.
15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.
16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and your dad probably is too.
17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
18. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
19. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
20. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes-what makes you think he'd bei any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
21. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
22. A headache that lasts for 1 week is a problem. See a doctor.
23. Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.
24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
25. Check your oil.
26. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
27. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
28. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.
29. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
30. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
31. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
32. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
33. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
34. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.
35. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
36. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
37. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

Originally Posted by Cajungaltx

Murph - my husband would give you a long discussion on the benefits of shopping 'with' your wife/daughters - versus drug kicking and screaming... lol. We have a 12 year old - and in HER eyes - dad is definitely the person's opinion you want for clothing. There ain't nothing 'girlie' about him... lol... but he knows what looks good.

If I had my preference, jeans & a tshirt would do me quite nicely... but because he goes with me, I have quite a few things that 'he' likes to see me wear... and as he's said...there are definite benefits to it... if you approach it right.

It is always quite amazing how much I absolutely adore him when we are a some store getting something - usually a woman's clothing store - and a woman makes the comment that her husband would NEVER go shopping for clothes with her.

I think every woman I've ever met, with very few exceptions, wants to know their husband/SO thinks they are beautiful. When they ask your opinion - it's cause they want to know that you still find them attractive... if it didn't matter... they wouldn't ask. I don't know why men don't get that concept sometimes. Men are visual... woman know that... I don't think we 'get' it to the degree that you are... but if she's making an effort to look good... for YOU a times... you could be well rewarded to be appropriately appreciative in my opinion...

Just my 2 cents... go chew your leg off... *grin*

[Wes]

If retailers were smart, the women's clothing stores would have an area that has a big screen TV and chairs for the husbands/boyfriends. Give the guys something to do and the girls can spend a lot more time shopping. Heck, add a fridge with some beer and the ladies would have to BEG the guys to leave the store.

[Lexie]

My husband is a hermit. He'll tell ya that himself. I'm the one that likes to go. This is how it is here..........He does not force me to stay home and I do not force him to go. It works for us!! We're both happy! Actually, I've never been one to have to have him tag along. I don't want someone rushing me and he does not want to leave his television. (I could care less about TV) My going consists of more photography than shopping. He could care less about what it takes to get the shot, he just wants to see the final image. However, I do shop for both of us. If I didn't.........he wouldn't have any clothes. He's happy going to work, stopping by the store for food.......(I hate to go to the store), and occasionally out to a local restaurant to eat. Although he would prefer I just go pick it up and bring it home.

[Coelus]

I go shopping clothes shopping with my wife on occasion, more often with my daughter. I don't mind going and at least I get a bit of choice on what I'm paying for. There are a few things I have issues with but it's nit my girls. It 's the places we have to go and some of the others there. I think if the stores were a little more man friendly y'all wouldn;t here us gripe so much about it.
The short list:
-Ladies, I'm taking my wife or kid shopping. I'm not hanging out by the changing rooms because I'm a perv want to see you try on your clothes. Quit giving me the evil eye. Which goes to the next point...
-Thank you, thank you, thank you to the stores that put a chair or two outside of said changing room. Not only does it make the day a little more comfortable for me I don't get the "look at the perv" treatment quite so often. Also make it convenient for my girls to come out and show me what they want an opinion on. The last thing I want is a busybody mom looking over my shoulder and seeing me getting a camera phone pic from inside the dressing room.
-Remove Starbucks from all malls. I've spent enough already on clothes I don't want to hear begging for over priced coffee too.
-Why do woman's underwear cost twice as much for 1/10 the material? C'mon its two strings and two square inches of fabric and you want to charge five bucks?
-The growing size trend. My daughter pointed this out to me. She's been an XS or 0 in everything for years. Yes she's grown up and grown out, but so have the sizes. Are they trying to make people think they're in better shape than they are?