New Element Found...

[ChristopherCoy]

Governmentium (Gv)

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 - 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

[heard03]

Oh no you didn't......

[miffed67]

LMAO! This stuff must pervade the building I work in.

[Steelsun]

And don't forget Governmentium is deadly. Avoid contact whenever possible.

[Murph]

Also Bozium, an element with no assigned number because it transmutes regularly. However contact with Bozium is dangerous because people in regular contact become afflicted with a disease and become Bozo's . Bozium is odorless and colorless, but tends to afflict people while driving, and in social interactions, almost acting like a virus. Extreme contact causes feet to swell, become red, and appear shoe like. The element Bozium is to be considered a hazard, unless you are already afflicted by Governmenitum.

[dbphotos]

That's funny!

[jgrindal]

Is it sad that the first thing I thought of when reading that was "if it has no electrons,that doesn't make it inert. In fact, depending on the number of protons it contains (which is never stated) it would make it extremely reactive!"

[Cajungaltx]

roflmao... hilarious

[mike78628]

I agree. Very funny.

[C!LLY]

hahaha...nice