New neighbor makes me nervous, suggestions?

[bcody]

Life is always throwing us curves. Because of the economy, we were unable to sell our house, Lockheed is bringing my husband back to Fort Worth and we will not be leaving Texas. We live in a very nice, family community. Excellant schools, lots of kids. I have two kids, 9 year old son and 7 year old daughter. The house across the street from me is a rental, their are three in the community. There is a new person moving in, and he came over and introduced himelf. He is older, 59, single. My dog does not like him, not one bit. He asked how close do people watch each others houses, in case he goes out of town Asked where the closest elementary school was, he has no kids no grandkids. Asked how come the kids do not walk to school, and woud we ever let them. All kinds of uestions about the kids. Told my daughter he has two teacup yorkies and he hopes she comes and plays with them (not going to happen.) and my son he rebuilds motorcycles and maybe he can help (Uh NO...).

I know how to look up people on watchdog, and am set up fpr alerts there. What are my best options to keep my kids safe, without accusing him of anything I can not prove? Am I over reacting? He also mentioned a passion for photography, better not aim a camera at my kids when they are playing in the yard.

Sorry to make this long, sorry to carry on. I hope I am just being overly cautious.

[Debbi]

I would say as a parent, you have to go with your gut regarding the safety of your kids. I would rather err on the side of caution. That being said, there's not much you can do but to be vigilent and watch your kids. With him not having kids, there's no reason for your kids to be around him and that's something you can "police". Good luck.

[CaptainTom]

I hope you are over reacting....
But, until you know more you need to heed Debbi's advice and keep an eye on things.

[klynam]

Those are huge red flags. IMO, "overreacting" would be reporting him to the police and picketing his house everyday. Asking for advice is prudence.

"Innocent until proven guilty" is great for human rights, unless you're the victim in which case it's too late.

Start by flipping the interview right around on him...

• get his full name
• where is his family
• where is he from
• why did he move
• where does he go to church
• where does he work

This will let him know your eyes are open. Over the next few days, get your neighbors to do the same thing and compare notes. Consider the degree of any inconsistencies.

Then use the information to do your due diligence:

• check the public records for registered sex offenders and court records (charges but no convictions)
• google his exact full name (in quotes)
• keep notes of suspicious activity and conversation
• call his work and ask to speak to him (hang up when you're sure you're talking to him)
• do you know anyone in that church - ask about him
• call the home owner and tell them your concerns, ask if they had any odd feelings when leasing to the man (never hurts to ask - document day/time of call)

Most importantly: Explain to your children (and have ALL neighbors do the same), even though this person is a neighbor, he is still a STRANGER and they are absolutely not - under any circumstances - to talk or interact with strangers.

[Brains]

Your kids are going to be invaluable information collectors. They're at the age they can start to recognize "odd" behavior, and report it back to you. If the guy is a predator, he'll likely be looking for opportunities when you're not looking - so again, your kids are going to be invaluable.

Go over "the rules" with the kids again, and coach them into not allowing themselves to be cornered, and not to put themselves into danger. No going on stranger's property, cars, etc. Staying in plain site when they're in the yard playing. The common sense stuff every parent goes over with the kids, really - just give them a reminder, and ask them questions periodically. You'll learn pretty quickly if they encounter something that isn't right, and hopefully well before they're in any danger.

I would be confrontational to the guy, but I wouldn't openly trust him either. Based on your recount of the events thus far, it does warrant some concern. I know I would be watching my kids VERY closely if someone like that moved into our neighborhood.

[CaptainTom]

I would be confrontational to the guy, but I wouldn't openly trust him either.

typo? "not confrontational" would seem to be what you meant ?

[Brains]

Heh... no, shoot at the guy with a .22 !!

You're right, that was a typo. I forgot the not.

[sldi]

From all accounts I have heard of before a child predator would not want to attract attention and be quite reclusive from the neighbors and not want to draw attention to himself, this guy seemed the opposite. Only can wish you best of luck, explain to the kids you concerns check with other neighbors about there feelings on him.

[CaptainTom]

He could be completely harmless.
The problem becomes one of rumors, innuendo, suspicion, false accusations, etc.
I am 60, rent a house in a neighborhood full of kids, am friendly to my neighbors, etc. I am not interested in the kids a bit (except when they start screaming as kids do) but I try to be friendly and act interested.

Keep an eye on him, but try not to jump to unwarranted conclusions. If he does something inappropriate, then we'll come down there and string him up...

[ldelacruz]

Originally Posted by CaptainTom

He could be completely harmless.
The problem becomes one of rumors, innuendo, suspicion, false accusations, etc.
I am 60, rent a house in a neighborhood full of kids, am friendly to my neighbors, etc. I am not interested in the kids a bit (except when they start screaming as kids do) but I try to be friendly and act interested.

Keep an eye on him, but try not to jump to unwarranted conclusions. If he does something inappropriate, then we'll come down there and string him up...

Tom,
Did you just move? Are you sure your not 59? Do you have Yorkies?

[bcody]

Thanks for all the responses. I am hopng he just an overly friendly type, but he did not give his full name, only his last.I know his religion, but not his church. I will remain cautious, and be ready to pounce. I do not want to start rumors. Should I keep the AR 15 loaded and ready, or would that be going over board?

Sldi, I hope you are right!

Thanks again for all the advice, it is greatly appreciated.

[corralup]

You can always just ignore him completely and be the no talking neighbor then he will not have any reason to butt into your life. Just don't feed into his kindness because something sounds fishy to me. Keep an eye on things is all you can do. If you really think this guy is a threat then you need to tell the owner of the house. With public records you can find him. Oh, and write down his plate number from his car. Just so you have it.
Detective Sandy

[Jeff_Green]

I would NOT ignore the guy. I would continue communicating with him. That is the only way you can understand who this guy is. He may be completely innocent and just give off this "vibe". Talk to him and ask questions. If he doesn't want to answer your questions that are not "dirt digging" questions but just simple get to know the neighbor questions then there is something to be concerned with.

Best case scenario, you have become close with a neighbor who will keep an eye on things and will be a valuable asset to the neighborhood. Worst case, you find out he has something to hide and you have exposed it to yourself and can warn others.

[toverman]

He just sounded lonely until he asked where the nearest elementary school is. That sounds creepy, to me, even if only he wants to apply to be a crossing guard.

[Tom]

Originally Posted by sldi

From all accounts I have heard of before a child predator would not want to attract attention and be quite reclusive from the neighbors and not want to draw attention to himself, this guy seemed the opposite. Only can wish you best of luck, explain to the kids you concerns check with other neighbors about there feelings on him.

He may just not be very adept.

I would keep my eyes peeled and explain my worries with friends with small kids.