Mother's Day/Father's Day.... question

[DSL_PWR]

Got into a nice debate with some people last night (friends wife brought it up when she asked him what he got her for Mother's day) at dinner about this topic and wanted to see what the rest of the general population thought. This turned into a heated lengthy discussion and both sides had their opinions as expected but I wanted to throw this out there...

This is a generalization of the topic discussed but there was a lot more dropped in the conversation last night.
Situations will vary and expectations do as well but the overview of the scenario is listed below...

Scenario... both sides...

You are married.
Your wife has children but, from a previous marriage.
You are your wife have NO children together.
Do you buy her something?


You are married.
Your husband has children but, from a previous marriage.
You are your husband have NO children together.
Do you buy him something?

Does that spouse get a Mother's Day/Father's Day card or gift?

Your thoughts/reasoning...

[Tom]

My stepdad always did for my mom when I was a kid.

Mother's day is like Christmas, birthday and the 4th of July all wrapped up into one for my mom though.

[epoh]

Yes in both situations, BUT, only if the children are still living at home. IMO, at least.

As for what you get, that's totally up to the people involved. Some people don't care for greeting cards. Sometimes that's all you have the $$ for.

[revjvegas]

Well,
We don't have any kids at all.
We're DINKs.
You know, Dual Income No Kids.
But we still use the occasion to buy each other something.
We do have a cat after all.

[Digigeek]

You take your stepkids out to buy something for their parent who is your spouse, assuming they are young.

[JenJohnson79]

My dad always bought for my stepmom, even though we weren't technically her kids, he also always took my sister and I shopping for our mother or gave my grandmother (mom's mom) money to take us shopping. He always spent more on our real mother. This went on for four years until my step mom had a kid that was theirs, then my dad bought equal gifts for both.

[shamrock]

Mother's Day/Father's Day is a celebration of being a parent. It doesn't matter whether it is your parent or the parent of your children. I give gifts to my daughter, my MIL, my neighbor. All the important "mothers" in my life.

[HeatherLou]

Jeff has always got me something, since we started dating. We have had fur-babies the whole time we have been together. So it was cute to get a card, or a rose from our pets. Same for Fathers Day for him. For obvious reasons, Mother's Day is a day I want to go hide my head in the sand. So I told him, no more gifts or family get togethers for me. However, this year, since we have Joyce, she WANTS to get me something. But we are having a quiet Sunday at home, but I don't ever want Joyce to worry about me. So I will Cowboy Up and let her celebrate.

[Concisus Cognatus]

Give the kids away and pretend spouse never had any. Problem solved.

[revjvegas]

Originally Posted by Heatherlou

... fur-babies ...

You made me LOL with that one.

Thanks.


Now how do you get coffee out of a keyboard?

[HeatherLou]

Hehe, stick your lips on the G and H key and suck! (JK) hehehehehe Glad I made someone smile today!

[resehop]

I am a true believer that holidays are overrated PERIOD and people put to much emphasis on them. I say do whatever you are comfortable with, not because some holiday declares it is what you should do. I don't believe in gift giving in the traditional sense. I ask not to get material gifts but want time. I want time as a gift and believe that is the best thing we can give someone. I hope that people know how I feel about them without having to give them something to prove it. I am a huge people person and love just being around other people. My life and the people in it are gift enough for me.

I think that each person is case by case. It is up to the individual person. If a person feels like it is necessary to give a gift to someone then do it just make sure it is for the right reasons. Meaning not because you feel guilty that you haven't spent enough time with that person, you have hurt them in some way, that you feel the gift will "make up" for something that you did or most of all because some holiday declares it is what you should do.

[Coogie]

I am a firm believer that if any holiday is remotely geared towards women, you throw all logic out and buy a sappy gift if you know what's good for you.

[Redneck]

I don't get it. Aren't the children supposed to get something for their mothers (and not the husband)?
I would never buy anything for my wife for mother's day.

But I do think too, that holidays are way overrated and commercialized. Very often a nice gesture or showing some love will do much better than buying presents.

[HeatherLou]

If a woman is married, kids or not, she does mothering to her husband! Mine is a huge baby when he is sick. LOL