Internet "Social etiquette"...

[Rahb]

So, I was in a thread moments ago and touched on the topic. In an effort to stop hijacking that thread, I felt I'd start a new one, and get the community's opinion. It seems that now with the mass social networking available, all sense of social etiquette is gone. Ie - would never bash you in person, but why don't I jump on this forum and tear you down

We see it in FB, we see it in forums, I'm even noticing it (worse) on news sites in their "comments" section. Internet offers these people anonymity so they can spout off whatever they want with no concern for how the subject would feel.

I bring this up because, while yes I have always noticed it, it hit close to home for my family recently. Google James Huffer jr. My family's name was plastered on the news a month ago. A cousin, whom I haven't seen in years, was arrested in Dallas (not his first time). He then stole the police car (was handcuffed in back seat...) and left it in Arlington and fled. I'm sure some heard the report. A week later he is in Dallas held up at a night club trying to kill himself (made many bad decisions in life, using his own products was his most recent). They caught him and he is paying for his transgressions.

HOWEVER, when the news broke people were making all kinds of comments on news sites "they should deport him wen they catch him. These illegal aliens have to get out". (he is white, born and raised here). All kinds of vile comments. The worst for me was "he is just like his dad. Look up his father, he had a DUI." My uncle has had 2 dui's. A horrible thing to do that I can never accept a person doing. However, his son chose a life of shady professions and succumbed to the use of his own "product". How can you say that he did these things because his father had 2 DUI's in his life. Not to mention you don't KNOW either of them. It is a 31 year old man making a decision. A man 1 year older than me, raised with the same morals.....he just chose to throw them out. I've never received more than a speeding ticket. My uncle was crushed by this comment and sank into a depression. Not only is his son in a world of trouble, but he has to read this.....

Freedom of speech......that is what people hide behind. What happened to not alienating another person. What happened to common decency and respect? Anyone have a viewpoint? Am I being too sensitive?

Long post. I'll shut up now

[rockpics]

I hear you. I've noticed the same thing. Especially in news comments, people are eager to sound off about things they know nothing about.

[JohnT]

The web just makes it too easy to be a jerk. Sad.

[KrisLos]

Let those who live in glass houses throw stones! My nephew was a police officer that shot and killed a suspect after being attacked, yet the media's friend Quanell X showed up and made it a racial issue, which it wasn't. And the comments were horrible. My husband actually wrote a letter proving the inaccuracies in the report and the report then disappeared along with all comments to never be found again. It hurt us to see the comments about our nephew!!

[Jake]

The comments on most "news" websites make me sick. The most ignorant clueless people are the ones that normally post.

[brewercm]

Unfortunately it's become the norm on many sites, even on some like this. People feel as though they can hide behind a keyboard and then we wonder why some have a problem dealing with society.

[Linda Bingham]

Yes it is sad but there has always been those people who have an opinion about everything and everyone without all the facts. The difference now is they have an avenue to tell their opinions without recourse. Sorry your family is going through this.

[mmuhlenkamp]

Yeah "news" sites are about the worst for terrible comments. My best suggestion is to just not read them. The people making those comments are close-minded and don't know the whole story. The internet sucks sometimes, but then there are forums like this that are respectful and enjoyable to read and the people that don't want to follow Abel's rules are very quickly gone.

Sorry to hear about your cousin and the anguish it's causing your family. People make bad decisions sometimes and there isn't a whole lot you can do about it. I hope your family recovers and your cousin learns how to deal with life in a healthier way.

[ldelacruz]

Robert,
Don't read that stuff. Who cares what those people have to say!

Deport James Huffer Jr. Seriously! Back to where? Ireland?

[danchez]

You know what really bothers me, God, I sound like Andy Rooney... but I digress, messaging someone and they just don't reply. It doesn't happen here on tpf very often, but it does happen. It's a lot worse when trying to contact a model on Model Mayhem. Is it really so hard to say "no thanks" or to drop a quick message stating: "real busy, will CC that image in a few days." I think if people, when using the internet to communicate, acted like they were person to person, things would go a lot smoother. It's funny, all these social networks and responses on news stories were put up so people could communicate, and all it's doing is making us less communicative/poor communicators...

[Hanky]

Im sorry for what has happened to you and your family and it's unfortunate people are so careless with their words and careless with their websites to allow anounomous chatter.

[KJ Smith]

On the other hand, while I am sorry this has happened, if your Uncle had 2 DUI's he had 2 DUI's.

When you commit a crime, it goes on your record.

That's just the way it works.

Now my question to you. Where did they get that info?

As far as I know, you need an address or a DL#or a birthday.

You just don't do background checks using a name.

[rockpics]

From what Robert said I gather the Uncle is not upset about the DUI's becoming public knowledge. He's upset and feels bad about being blamed for his son's current troubles, a blame which is most likely misplaced.

[Some Idiot]

Originally Posted by KJ Smith

You just don't do background checks using a name.

Why not?

Dallas County Criminal Background Search

[Rahb]

You can get the info using just a name. There are ways. It was not his dui's. More the fact the person blamed everything a 31 year old man did on his father ...... As if him getting dui's drove him to live the life he did. We were all raised in a close family. He took a different path when he hit high school. Like I said, I don't excuse my uncles transgressions to any degree. His alchoholism could have been the cause of his divorce (I was 12 I do not know). The facts I do have are he wasn't divorced before the neighbor moved in with his wife. It wasn't a year before said neighbor assaulted my cousin and a long path of poor life choices. These facts aren't easily found, but seeing that daddy has had 2 dui's. Oh that must be why junior lived a life as a dealer, thief, bookie, turned user. Chased his girlfriend in a car. Shot at her and her "date", ran fro the cops in a stolen car, then tried to kill himself in a nightclub in a standoff with police........