Fun With Network Copiers ...

[Digital Prophet]

I love to be evil. Especially on mondays.

I know, I know. You are all sitting back and thinking to yourselves, "What? How could anyone believe that a guy as nice as Digital Prophet could be mean? Surely they are smoking some mixture of crack cocaine and poprocks!" But no it's true. I have a mean streak. And to be honest the times you see it most ofen are when I am bored. I mean, a guy has to entertain himself somehow.

So here I was sitting at my desk feeling less than stellar and thinking to myself "If only something could make this day more .... entertaining." When, as if on cue, Bill comes out of his office and heads to the network copier/scanner with a letter in his hand. Now I know Bill and since I do I know that he has written a letter, printed it and is now going to scan the letter so he can email the signed version.

Oh yeah, this is just what the doctor ordered.

Being as I do in fact know Bill I also know that he HATES technology of any kind and has a place reserved on his "Things to Hate That Plug In" list for our very own local network copier/scanner. Teehee.

So Bill goes to the copier and reads the little sign explaining how to make a scan. He dutifully inserts the pages, pressing the correct keys to sound his copier concerto and away goes the machine. He waits and pulls his letter as it finishes it's trip through the copier and heads to his office satisfied with a job well done. Teehee. Or so he thinks.

What Bill doesn't know is that the monitoring software for that appliance is on .... that's right boys and girls: my machine. LOL. So when the scan is done the application pops up and I see the document sitting in the directory ready to be retrieved. And Bill disappears back into his office. Little does Bill know that before he ever made it to the door I had deleted his document.

So about two minutes pass and Bill comes back out and goes through the motions again. He inserts. He hits keys. He retrieves. He walks away. I delete.

Rinse. Repeat.

Bill and I play this little network tango (only one of us knowing we are in a duet) three more times. Each time he comes out of his office a little later. Each time he is a little redder. Each time he reads the sign a little longer. And each time he hits the keys a little harder. And each time I delete his letter.

By this time I can hardly contain myself. I am about to die laughing. So when Bill comes out this very last time I ask him? "Hey man, what's the trouble bubble?" And he explains, colorfully, that he can't get this thing to scan! So I suggest he just reboot the machine. "Sometimes that helps homie."

So he does and he tries one last time. And since I was about to pee my pants AND Bill was about to have a stroke I decided to go light on him and let him have his letter.

Next week I am going to just delete every other page for a while and see if I can get him to set the copier/scanner on fire.

I tell ya, it's hard being me.

Prophet out.

[Rudy]

I can see the headlines now.

Digital Prophet stuffed in papertray slot by co worker

[Champuu]

LOL- you and my husband would get along great. He likes to toy with people for his satisfaction and entertainment as well. He even has our home phone number programed as "Evil Lair" on his cell phone. Sounds like you have that programed for your work number. hehehehe

Champuu

[Holly]

lmao...
Just don't take his stapler....

[Shane]

LOL . . . that is a classic!

[babybluetx23]

he is going to pull and "office Space" on that Copier! hehehe take it out in a field and beat it with a baseball bat! LOL!

[Steelsun]

That's Evil, I like it.

I too am on a network copier used also as a scanner.

An idea I had is to make a fake scan of a sheet with a stick figure and some sort of motto like "Your scan is being held hostage - place a twinkie on the copier and leave the room if you ever want to see it again"
And then swap their scan with the "hostage note" (all scans are saved in public directories I have access to also).

Could be fun.

[shamrock]

Hmmm... Prophet, were you the BOFH in another life?

val

[snidow]

That's just so classic! Thanks for the laugh!

[Silvernic]

What's a BOFH? Just gimme a hint!

[Digital Prophet]

BOFH = Bastard Operator From Hell.

It's a term that either started or was made popular by a site called The Register.com and was quite common a few years back.

Prophet out.

[Silvernic]

Good to know.

[Steelsun]

Satyr was. BOFH at AT&T.

Poor souls that called him probably got routed through Czechoslavakia just for being annoying.

[Terrancelee]

Originally Posted by Digital Prophet

Next week I am going to just delete every other page for a while and see if I can get him to set the copier/scanner on fire.

Good thing I wasn't drinking, or it would have spewed out my nose!

Evil, pure evil, but such fun at it.

[Champuu]

Originally Posted by Steelsun

Satyr was. BOFH at AT&T.

Poor souls that called him probably got routed through Czechoslavakia just for being annoying.

Any one who can correctly spell Czechoslovakia is cool with me

Champuu