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Posts: 566 Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Amarillo, Real First Name: Shelley iTrader Rating: 0 LIKES Received: 0 LIKES Given: 0 | You Know You're From Texas When... -
05-02-2005, 08:32 AM
You Know You're From Texas When...
You see as many Texas flags than American flags.
You know someone who ate the 72 oz steak and got it for free.
You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry, and your Cowboy Boots.
You can write a check at Dairy Queen for 2 Hungr-Busters and fries.
You prefer Whataburger to McDonalds.
You dress up to go shopping at the mall.
You've hung ornaments and tinsel on a tumbleweed and used it as a Christmas tree.
You're disappointed when a food doesn't come in spicy flavor.
You know from experience that rattlesnake meat tastes like chicken.
You can tell a rock from an armadillo at 300 yards.
You know what a 'Cowboy Cadillac' is.
You have both a dog and a brother-in-law named Bud
Your local grocery store sells cactus in the Fresh Produce department
You watch the movie Urban Cowboy and laugh at the phony Texan accents
You choose a brand of Mexican salsa with the same care that another might use to select a bottle of fine wine
You think that the 4 basic food groups are nachos, bar-b-que, fajitas, and Copenhagen.
You refer to the Dallas Cowboys as "God's favorite football team"
You know whether another Texan is from South, West, East, North, or Central Texas as soon as they open their mouth.
Your Pastor wears boots.
The Blue Book value on your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Texas.
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How to know you're from Texas
You know that you're from Texas if you know these things already:
* Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
* Roadrunners don't say "Beep Beep"
* There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live inTexas.
* There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live inTexas, plus a couple no one's seen before.
*Possums will eat anything.
* Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are ripe.
* If it grows, it sticks. If it crawls, it bites.
* Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.
* There are valid reasons some people put concertina wire around their house.
* You cannot find a country road without a curve from corner to corner.
* A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle, they do get stuck.
* The wind blows at 90 MPH from Oct. 2 until June 25, then it stops totally until Oct 2.
* Onced and Twiced are good words.
* It is not a shopping cart it is a buggy.
* Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
* Graduating 1st in your class means you left in the 8th grade.
* "Coldbeer" actually is one word.
* People really grow and eat okra.
* Green grass DOES burn.
* When you live in the country, you don't have to buy a dog. City people drop them off at your gate in the middle of the night.
* When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to go to the doctor.
* "Fixinto" is one word.
* The word dinner is confusing. There's only lunch and then there's supper.
* Backards and forards means I know everything about you.
* "Je'eet"? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
* You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
* You measure distance in minutes.
* You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
* Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
* You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" is.
* You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Picante.
* You think sexy lingerie is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.
* You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
* You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
* You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, Still summer, and Christmas.
* There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population over 1000.
* Going to Walmart is a favorite past-time known as "goin wal-martin" or off to "Wally World."
* You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.
* A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop .. it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor.
* You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
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