what an insult

[suzyjazz]

I won't name names, but I was hoping to be the photographer at a holiday party for a non-profit group of which I am a member. I was very professional through the entire process. This representative asked for several sample photos and offered to return them to me. I concede that I never responded "Yes please send them back." Clearly, a mistake. This person acknowledged receiving my package the first week of November, and by Nov. 5 she said their meeting to make a decision about the photos might be postponed and she thought they were leaning toward a photographer they would make more money with. In other words, this person was someone that would accept zero profit from selling photos. I believe they have a P&S and no lighting equipment. I offered to shoot for free and give them a decent percent of sales. It's a nice offer, IMO, as she contacted me in the first place knowing that I have a business. At that point, nothing was definite yet. Tonight I learned they decided to go with the other person and if that is what is better for the organization, then it's totally fine, that is what they should do. I'm not upset about that. The thing is I never even heard this from her! I looked at the web site today and saw the event info had finally been posted. I sent an email asking how everything had turned out and if she would please return my photos. This is the response I got.

"I don't have them anymore. You didn't state you wanted them back and so after they decided they were going to use somone from [name of org], I trashed them. I wish you would have said that you wanted them returned."

She "trashed them." I can't believe she ueven used those exact words. I certainly didn't expect that our previous communication about "they're leaning this other way" would be would be the end of the line! It was just a few photos, but it really disgusts me how I was treated. Notice how this person wrote "after they decided they were going to use someone from [name of org]". I am a MEMBER, too. I replied with as much politeness as I could muster.

My response:
"You offered to return them and I never said anything not because I didn't want them back but because I didn't know when the meeting would be and when the decision process would be over. I certainly expected that we would communicate again before you threw away my work. You never even contacted me with an outcome to the situation. I tried to be professional and I'm disappointed with how this ended. "

Unfortunately, it was a knee-jerk email (I couldn't resist) so I didn't get to add in "I"m a member, too." I tried not to make any accusations and the nicest way I could end was to say I was disappointed. Fire away with feedback if you want -- at this point, no one can say anything that would upset me. I did my best!

[NathanJK]

Sounds like one membership you dont need to bother renewing!

[suzyjazz]

I'm not going to punish the "cause" because of one person's rudeness, but it puts a bad taste in my mouth. I'll continue doing the things I have always done, but nothing more.

[Daniel Bates]

ouch. I'm with Nathan... I'm not that nice of a person...

[suzyjazz]

It definitely feels good to have people agree that this was not nice, so thanks guys! I am so disgusted that I wouldn't care if anyone thought I was wrong, though.

I'm clearly always doing the wrong thing to get business. My events get rained out, people I contact aren't interested in photos, and my some of pre-existing contacts are clueless and rude.

[NathanJK]

Originally Posted by suzyjazz

I'm not going to punish the "cause" because of one person's rudeness, but it puts a bad taste in my mouth. I'll continue doing the things I have always done, but nothing more.

Your better than I am! I wouldn't be able to continue with whatever cause it is without it leaving a foul taste in my mouth. Knowing myself, I would start slacking off, or blow up at the lady you had the issue with and make a real jerk of myself. Its better for me to just drop such things immediately .

[Jezebel]

my response = molotov cocktail in the arse.


hahaha... just kidding...

OR AM I?? >_>

that was definitely unprofessional. even if it's a non-profit organization i would try to speak to a superior of some sort if there is one. they may not be aware of how things are being handled.

[HotHolly]

Wow...Honestly, some people are just so thoughtless. Its astounding.

You handled it well. I never know how much/ little to say. Things may have gone better had she not cut you out of the loop. (then again, maybe not with this person)

We've started assuming that people are busy and forgetful. We used to follow up 2x after a consult for photog servies. If they didnt respond, we dropped it.

However, in the recent past, we had one person call 2 weeks before her non-booked wedding. The bride was freaking out that she forgot to hire us?!?! How nuts is that? How do you forget something like that?

A few other busy professional peeps have actaually asked us to keep asking them/ reminding until we got a clear YES or NO. I was thinking 'I dont have time for this' but the majority of people we work with arent that pulled together. And, I've started thinking, if a bride can forget to hire us, then anybody might. So why not ask again?

So, there's that - then theres uber rude. She should have never told you she "trashed" your work. How tactless. I cant believe she put that in writing.

If its an organazation worth donating to - skirt around her (if possible) by making an actual dontaion. That way you get free advertising, people see your work (and respect you), and you'll get a tax write off. And no one refuses a dontation.

It still doesnt help whats already happened, but maybe it'll help in the future...

[suzyjazz]

I'm drafting an email right now to the coordinator that I work with. Depending on what she says, I may contact someone else in the organization that I have known for a few years. While we are not close, I trust her as well. If this volunteer is dismissing me like this, I wonder how she treats other potential.... benefactors.

There were photos in that package that they could have used for something in the org. Photos that, shall I say, had appropriate subject matter. They just went into the trash?

I'm regretting that I already replied back because I keep thinking of even more constructive things i could have written (like the above about the photos actually being USEFUL).

[suzyjazz]

Originally Posted by HotHolly

Wow...Honestly, some people are just so thoughtless. Its astounding.

You handled it well. I never know how much/ little to say. Things may have gone better had she not cut you out of the loop. (then again, maybe not with this person)

We've started assuming that people are busy and forgetful. We used to follow up 2x after a consult for photog servies. If they didnt respond, we dropped it.

However, in the recent past, we had one person call 2 weeks before her non-booked wedding. The bride was freaking out that she forgot to hire us?!?! How nuts is that? How do you forget something like that?

A few other busy professional peeps have actaually asked us to keep asking them/ reminding until we got a clear YES or NO. I was thinking 'I dont have time for this' but the majority of people we work with arent that pulled together. And, I've started thinking, if a bride can forget to hire us, then anybody might. So why not ask again?

So, there's that - then theres uber rude. She should have never told you she "trashed" your work. How tactless. I cant believe she put that in writing.

If its an organazation worth donating to - skirt around her (if possible) by making an actual dontaion. That way you get free advertising, people see your work (and respect you), and you'll get a tax write off. And no one refuses a dontation.

It still doesnt help whats already happened, but maybe it'll help in the future...

A bride that forgot to hire the photog? Wow.

I've made really small donations that are percentage based from certain business I have received (and I haven't had that much business). Maybe I would have more if they gave me a link on their web page like I asked, because then they'll get more money. For previous donations they mentioned the name but they sort of butchered it and there was no web link. It was pretty useless but the amount donated was so small that I decided it was lame anyway. What I need to do is take out an ad in their newsletter. I don't know why it never occurred to me before, but thanks for bringing it up! I should be able to avoid this person.

[jbrem]

yeah that sucks... but like you said if the cause is good, don't let your experience with one person let you get a bad taste for the cause... Do these people not realize what we put into our photography? I would have used some more choice words in my e-mail... hell, I might have even called the person...

[CaptainTom]

Send them an invoice for the work they "trashed" that was lent to them for consideration only. Send the invice to the director of the NFP. The director will then investigate why they trashed your stuff, and you may get paid, or at least an apology.

Business is business.... plus, "just because they're a not for profit, doesn't mean they don't have any money".......

[Duffy Pratt]

Suzy:

It's possible she's not telling the truth about trashing them, and just being rude to get you off her back.

When you talk to the other people, you might want to find out what they thought about your work. Just act like you assume they saw it at their decision making meeting. I bet you find out that no-one ever saw it. You might even discover that you weren't brought up at the decision making process. I'm not saying this actually happenned. But I know alot of people who have been frozen out of stuff like that, because the member canvassing for the group has a friend they would rather get the job. But maybe I'm just cynical.

If it's simply the way you said, its bad enough. But anyone capable of treating you as thoughtlessly as she did is probably capable of much worse.

Duffy

[suzyjazz]

Originally Posted by Duffy Pratt

Suzy:

It's possible she's not telling the truth about trashing them, and just being rude to get you off her back.

When you talk to the other people, you might want to find out what they thought about your work. Just act like you assume they saw it at their decision making meeting. I bet you find out that no-one ever saw it. You might even discover that you weren't brought up at the decision making process. I'm not saying this actually happenned. But I know alot of people who have been frozen out of stuff like that, because the member canvassing for the group has a friend they would rather get the job. But maybe I'm just cynical.

If it's simply the way you said, its bad enough. But anyone capable of treating you as thoughtlessly as she did is probably capable of much worse.

Duffy

Hmmm, that's a good point. I will send an email to the executives on the board and ask them. That would actually be perfect because I want to send an email asking about being a sponsor for their newsletter. I don't think the executive is the person that email would normally go to, but I can kill 2 birds with one stone.

I believe the person who is taking the pics is the one that takes the photos for the web site. He's a good guy. I don't know how they are handling prints, but doing it that way all the proceeds were going to the organization. I'm sure he likes doing it, and I believe that they chose that route to make more money. It's possible she never made the presentation. Now that you mention it, I wouldn't be surprised. Her response seems a little defensive to me, now that I think about it.

Thanks for all the great responses, everyone. I didn't expect everyone to feel quite this strongly about it. I'm going to let it digest and maybe send some more emails tomorrow. I would even call but being a group such as this, no telling when any of them would be in the office and I don't want to risk the OTHER person answering the phone!

I know I sound mad here, because I AM, but I actually do know how to be the bigger person.

[Breezy]

I would be pissed and you handled it a lot more tactful than I would have