OMG, this is funny!

[Murph]

http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/

OMG! That is hilarious, he is SUPPOSED to take rounds while his partner assembles a weapon?! I had to stop, I felt my brain melting. He admitted that he is a Rent-A-Cop, OMG, those guys make real cops feel faint with their "professionalism". I was once on a range with a class of rent a cops on the next one over, and after the 2nd round went zipping by, I un-@ssed the range very quickly. Those guys were pathetically dangerous, but as one little weenie told me; "I'm a SECURITY SPECIALIST, and highly trained to deal with all manner of emergencies". I had a hard time not laughing out loud.

[Daniel Bates]

"If Plan A is to take multiple .338 shots to the back, you really need to come up with a Plan B.”

I still can't stop laughing...

[NathanJK]

Haha, I dont know if its funny or sad that I'd allready read that months ago!

[Murph]

LOL, my brain is twitching, this stuff is so bad, and the sad thing is there are people out there who eat that sh*t up! Aaaaiiiiiiieeeeee, this guy is so, so sad.

[acesteward]

You know this would be alot funnier if I had not been a security gaurd at one point in my life. These Guys have bumped their heads, but I can honestly say that I have worked in some of the worst parts of oak cliff and down off of harry hines and you would be surprised at some of the stupid stuff that people will do including pulling guns. but don't get me wrong these guys where just morons on a power trip

[JPalmer]

Man...I hate it when a perp pops up from behind the Orange Julius counter with a full auto Kalashnikov with a 75rd drum just to steal the Mortal Combat arcade game.

That was freaking hilarious.

[JMI]

I had to stop about a quarter of the way through. It felt as though my IQ points were being sucked out right through my eyeballs.

[Steelsun]

Yeah, I saw this awhile back and had a laugh.

I'm also a former security officer and whenever we had one of these yahoos apply for a job, they were directed to apply at the nearest junkyard or redneck bar instead.
Idjuts!

I can only begin to think of the liability of this guy's employer if he knew what the idjut was saying in public and did not fire him. Negligent retention at its best for not having a safe workplace / public place.

[Murph]

[B][I]I am writing a proposal to replace our current Mossberg/Smith armament with the following:

3) MP5K-PDW with red-dot sights;
2) G36 rifles using SS109 rounds;
3) Glock practical tacticles in .357 Sig
1) PSG-1 using Fed Gold Medal .308
1) Starlight scope for the PSG-1 in case we lose power in the building.
3) Glock 27 backup guns
3) Kahr P-9 holdouts
I think this would make us capable of facing nearly any situation. I’ll let you know what the management says!!!


Uh, sport, I think that answer would be a resounding "NO" to all of the above.

[Daniel Bates]

I guess he forgot to include the modified surplus Shrikes in his equipment proposal.

[chempilot]

oh man my side hurts! thnaks murph! i used to work for a police dept. and grew up in a cop family and, sadly, i have met guys like this. they ususally (thank god!) fail the psych test to be an real cop...

[Daniel Bates]

I can hear it right now:

"So, why do you want to be a police officer?"

"I've always wanted to catch those people who take two samples of cheese and hold them in a choke hold until they fall unconscious."

[Murph]

Perhaps at Greenpoint, I mean Gunpoint Mall in Houston, he could get a job....?

[chempilot]

has to be my favorite line:
"the GAP employees who asked for my autograph, and had to settle for a cover identity’s signature, the flashbangs, and their acrid scent, the small of napalm in the evening breeze, as I crouch behind a shopping cart in the parking lot..."

just amazing...

[fran reisner]

Daniel (and the rest of you who've been to that thread)... think I should log on as "the squirrel ninja" and give 'em a piece of my mind???