The big brown box with wheels

[gardener]

* Ordered myself a couple of new lenses from B&H as a Christmas present from me to me
* Paid extra for 2 day shipping so I could be sure they get here in time for celebrations and party stuff
* Supposed to be delivered yesterday... Wife and grandbrats stay here all day for signing purposes.
* No delivery all day... Finally decided to give it up at 7PM and go grab a quick bite to eat. You guessed it, the Brown Clown came at 7:05 and left tag on the door.
* Called Brown Box store at 8:15± PM and left instructions that I would pick up the package personally at the Distribution Center... even verified that with a REAL LIVE PERSON.... TWICE.
* This morning arrives and I jump in the truck and head over to the Brown Box Distribution Center. Wait Wait Wait in line until I hear loud voices coming from the back room noting "THE G**D*** SYSTEM IS DOWN AGAIN". If you've never encountered the phrase or ever hear the word "system", this is NOT a good sign if you are in line and picking up a package.
* Nice cheery lady comes out, gets my pick up notice and disappears for a while... Comes back and says they can't find my package and it might accidently be back on the truck for delivery today... BUT... if I want to wait until 12 noon and call ANOTHER department, they can tell me whether my package is on the delivery truck again or if it's still there at the facility and I can ask that it be transferred over to the pick up counter so that I can pick it up in person which are the instructions that I left on their damn computer and with two LIVE PEOPLE last night! "Oh, and... ( anytime you hear an "and" after an "Oh", it does not bode well...) says she with the smiley face, "they're a bit busy so you may have to call back multiple times to get them to answer..." This is NOT looking good at this point...
* Try to drive back out of Brown Box facility to come back home and encounter a full NASCAR contingent of Brown Clown drivers whipping those trucks around like it's a demolition derby to get to the exit. Finally say heck with it and pull out into long fast stream of brown box trucks figuring at the least, they'll run over me, my wife can sue them for wrongful death and driving like maniacs, they'll pay her some large sum of money, and she can live happily ever after without the photo nut making her wait here and there while he gets just one more picture of some whatzit. No accident but lots of truck horns which are quickly negated by sticking my arm out the window and giving them the universal sign for... well, you know what it's for so I need'nt explain again.
* So... here I sit at 11:04AM... not happy at ALL and wondering if finding and holding a Brown Box Driver hostage would actually get my package to me any quicker...
GRRRRRRRRR!

[TXhummer2]

If you catch and hold the driver, ASK HIM WHERE MY FILM FROM KODAK IS, because USPS hasn't delivered it yet!

[engstrom]

Wow, I'm sorry to hear about your hassles. I hope the day gets better for you - let us know what happens!

[VisualOddity]

Originally Posted by TXhummer2

If you catch and hold the driver, ASK HIM WHERE MY FILM FROM KODAK IS, because USPS hasn't delivered it yet!

And, if you catch and hold the driver, Please call me. I'd like to cover this story from the inside...

[CaptainTom]

Nobody would miss one UPS guy. You need to hold the entire distribution center hostage.
Of course, it would still take them a couple of hours to process the operation.

[VisualOddity]

Originally Posted by CaptainTom

Nobody would miss one UPS guy. You need to hold the entire distribution center hostage.
Of course, it would still take them a couple of hours to process the operation.

[gardener]

Update: Despite talking to TWO REAL LIVE PEOPLE and the Brown computer noting to hold the package last evening for personal pickup this morning, AND confirming that instruction with said employees, they put the package back on the truck for delivery sometime today. Of course, they cannot give even an approximate time that the Brown Clown will show up at my door... hopefully with my package... but advise that it will "probably" be late this afternoon or maybe even early evening. Oh joy...
What a bunch of morons...

[CaptainTom]

My experience with UPS has been similar. I am never home, so I 'm lucky if they even leave a door knocker. I can leave a note on the door, and they don't leave the item.
I go to the distribution center and they say it's on the truck, come back tomorrow, or call the 800 number, or go away, or #$%#$^*

[gardener]

3:15 update:
Despite several calls to the Brown Service Center since this morning, all of which assured me that my package was on THE truck for delivery TODAY, I saw the big ol Brown truck barreling down my street and ran down to catch the bugger before he got away again. Comment: Hey, we've been looking for that box all morning because it's not on my truck like it's supposed to be. Let me check my list again...".
Betcha know where this is going, huh? Uh huh...
"They probably put it on the wrong truck"... Oh really, what a bright young man you are to figure that out...
Called the Service Center yet again and Jennifer answers the phone. After explaining the problem here... again... she says something about "having issues" and immediately puts me on hold. 40 minutes later, Hans picks up the phone, asks if I'm being helped and I said NO! plus some pertinent comments about Jennifer being a rude ignorant twit. Hans agrees to help (with the lost and found only to be lost again issue only, not Jennifer) and checks HIS list only to find that the package has been logged in... well DUH!... and is on the truck for delivery. NOT say I, being that I've already checked with the driver and he says he doesn't have it. Hans, in his ultimate wisdom, says "Uhhhhhhhh" and then says he'll call me back in a few minutes after he's done some checking on lists and barcodes and trucks and delivery schedules and such. Apparently, Hans' minutes are far longer than my minutes because at this point, I'm about ready to cancel the whole freaking order and forget that said order ever existed along with a nice letter to my credit card company telling them why I won't accept the charges.

[engstrom]

You have my sympathies. I hope things at least end well and you get your package today.

[MRCPix]

and this is why I started using Fed Ex :)
sorry for you saga.

[Daniel Bates]

I'm for holding the delivery center hostage. Better yet, find Pika and set him loose in there. That'll make them beg for mercy...

[Michelle Allmon]

Better yet, find Pika and set him loose in there. That'll make them beg for mercy...

now THAT, daniel, is the smartest thing you've said all night!

[gardener]

5:53pm update:
THEY FOUND IT! HOORAYYYYYYY! And they even called me back to say so... "It's in the building" says they...

Unfortunately, they still don't know which building. Now, IF they find which building its in and can do that by morning, they'll be more than happy to call me to come get it... or so they say. Uh huh... you betcha...

[Daniel Bates]

This is getting positively epic. I'll bring the popcorn.