I'm going to Kill PIKA!

[DEMDeepEllumMusic]

I never mentioned this but about 6 months ago the little bugger was beating on my front door in Dallas screaming "TAKE ME TO DEEP ELLUM YOU $%^&*" and he woke me up at 6 in the morning doing this! Heck I had just hit the sack but I recognized that attitude and I opened the blinds and looked out and I saw PIKA all pimped out still screaming TAKE ME TO DEEP ELLUM-YOU KNOW WHERE IT IS IT'S IN YOUR %^&* MONIKER.

So I opened the door and said "Go chill out dude Ellum is dead again until tonight so come back later I need to ZZZZZZ a bit". He looked in my doorway and sniffed a couple sniffs and said "Where can I get some good Pancakes!" I sent him off to Cafe Brazil (the new location on lower greenville).

Well I forgot all about his visit that morning, guiness and chasers will do that to an old coot like me but lo and behold when the sun hit the horizon Pika was back on my porch screaming in his most shrill tone "TAKE ME TO DEEP ELLUM I HEARD THE WOMEN ARE CRAZY THERE!"

So I said "Man it won't get hopping until after 10 pm so lets go eat something and knock back a 40 or two" and he was all game for that.

Well we finally made it to Ellum around 11 and PIKA was running around like he had just drank a gallon of maple syrup strait. I didn't know that dude was so into INK!!!

Well about 1:45 he tells me to F off that he has a whole harem lined up for the rest of the night (I think they were roller derby girls) and that he was fine and if he needed a wingman he had my number. (right) So I said man your fine and if you get dropped off somewhere strange don't call me!

So the next day at about 4pm he stops by the house gives me a big old grin and says he has to be back in H town before DP figures out where he went. He went down the block and climbed into this Peterbuilt that looked like it was being driven by a big old tatooed Lesbian but he was whistling all the way down the street with his heels kicking up dust.

Well now today I get this chick beating on my front door and screaming she wants to see DEM. I go "I'm DEM, what do you want?"

No you are not DEM because DEM was Yellow and NOT AND OLD BUGGER LIKE YOU. I went Oh I know who you want so whats the deal?

All of a sudden she starts pulling these out from under her shirt!
She starts screaming again that she can't keep up making pancakes for em and that she sure as hell couldn't afford the pure maple syrup and the macademia nuts that they required on them. So she just runs off leaving me these guys!

SO WHERE IS THAT FOOL, AND DOESN'T HE KNOW HE IS ONE FERTILE LITTLE PIKA?

[venchka]

OK, you had me. But weren't they Tribbles?

Ya better hide the "Made in China" label next time!

[venchka]

And oh, by the way,

[Daylon]

Wow. I understood exactly zero of that story. Not sure whether to validate your frustration, laugh, or just give a scooby-doo "Hurrrrrnnnnhhh??"

D.

[engstrom]

Heh, I'm just waiting for the reaction from DP.

[ndsimm]

So I guess Pika is going to get a Guest shot on Maury
Wonder what the results of the Paternity test will be???

[DEMDeepEllumMusic]

Hey those labels are the only way to tell where their butt is and you don't want to go messing with their butts!

I done some searching around and found out that the chick started calling herself Golden Devil Lover about 5 months ago from some people that she skates with.

They said that last week she went to the can to do her thing and these guys started popping out her butt and jumping out of the can and just lined up in front of her and then in unison said "We Want Pancakes Mama"!

Well she felt motherly for like 10 minutes and made them some pancakes and found an old almost empty bottle of maple syrup on the back of the shelf and she decided to empty that thing out to throw out.

Well as she is slamming on the almost empty bottle of syrup she starts to lactate like a jersy at 5 oclock and these guys all jump on the table licking it all up and then they found the maple syrup and went nuclear!

So I decided to bring them into the house, my mistake, and they rolled to the couch and started hopping on it like mad looking all happy even though I couldn't see any faces but they made happy sounds.

So I go into where my TV is and I'm chillin for about 20 minutes and they all come in screaming "PANCAKES, PANCAKES NOWWWWW!" then all of a sudden they turn to the TV and scream "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?"

I tell them that it is a television and you can watch all sorts of things on it, turns out the girls TV gave out about 2 weeks before and she hadn't gotten a new one. So I channel surf a bit and all of a sudden they all scream this high shrill scream so I left the room As fast as I could and went into the kitchen looking for something to make pancakes from.

Well the little dudes crank the sound up to 99 and I guess they must have been channel surfing so that they were watching 10 shows at once each for about 1/5th of a second until I hear that voice!

THEY FOUND MARTHA STEWART and man did things go downhill fast.

First one rolls in and says F Pancakes give us WAFFLES!

I said OK I have an old waffle iron around and I will get it going for them.

He leaves the room and then about 2 minutes later another goes: WHERE ARE MY WAFFLES AT? I tell him to chill and they will be ready in about 10 minutes.

Well over the next 10 minutes everyone of them had been in at least 10 times screaming for waffles and then all of a sudden they wanted creme fresh, fresh blueberry syrup with their maple syrup and the compartments on each waffle should alternate Creme Fresh, then Maple and then Blueberry Syrup.

Then one comes in and demands that his waffles be cooked Al Dente, I tell him this ain't pasta and if you had it Al Dente it would taste like pooh so he said Martha likes her food Al Dente and I tell him Martha is a C. So he runs off with his new word!

So they all end up coming back screaming C C C C C C C, I go do you even know what a C is and they all go Martha is a C and we love her!

So I ended up feeding them 4 lbs of waffles and about 1 pt of each type of syrup and I substitued evaporated milk for the creme fresh.

So they are all passing gas and sleeping right now.

SO WHERE IS THAT YELLOW SEX MACHINE?

[babybluetx23]

ROFL!!! poor dayon. Daylon if you do a search on the forum for Pika, you will see that DP (digital prophet) has a little friend named Pika who gets Pika AND POOR DP into a LOT of trouble! Although I was convinced the pika was DPs Alter Ego until I read this thread!!! hehehehe you have to go read the threads about Pika and DP to understand this thread! hehehehe

[bondarnes]

Hey Paul,

I think you missed your calling. You need to be a writer for a porn cartoonist.

[DEMDeepEllumMusic]

Cheech Wizard was my Idol in College!
http://www.pha.jhu.edu/~jdavies/bode/cheech/
(some of the cartoons are quite blunt, especially for 30 YEARS AGO)
Von Bode did one book that was a leather bound signed first edition of less than 400 copies through National Lampoon and I proudly own ONE!

[Daylon]

Okay, so I'm not crazy. I was thinking "okay, I'm fairly hip.. obviously this is some street lingo that I need to decode..."

Lactation, tribbles, maple syrup.. I was like "Man.. what is this guy smoking? And more importantly, where can I get some?!?"

It's like a deleted chapter from "Fear and Loathing" or something....

D.

Originally Posted by babybluetx23

ROFL!!! poor dayon. Daylon if you do a search on the forum for Pika, you will see that DP (digital prophet) has a little friend named Pika who gets Pika AND POOR DP into a LOT of trouble! Although I was convinced the pika was DPs Alter Ego until I read this thread!!! hehehehe you have to go read the threads about Pika and DP to understand this thread! hehehehe

[DEMDeepEllumMusic]

Nah, it's just one of PIKA's adventures when DP lets him loose.

[DEMDeepEllumMusic]

Ok they are eating me out of every bit of food in the house. I can't turn my back one second without them finding another cooking show on, they still haven't figured out how to get on the computer-thank goodness for passwords, and now they want SNOW CONES MADE WITH REAL SNOW that has to be from the Blizzard in Colorado. Some lady on Ebay is selling the stuff but she won't ship it!

So how do I get that snow for these guys to have their fresh cherry and cranberry juiced snow cones out of?

You dare not make these dudes mad because then they start doing that high pitch screaming that is just a couple notes below the audible limit of humans and it hurts like the dickens plus neighborhood dogs are starting to screech like their heads are being impailed with icepicks whenever Pikas progeny let it fly.

BTW how the heck do you sex these things? I've asked em to line up as boys and girls but each time they do they are in not the same order as before so either they are messing with me, they have no idea who is a boy and who is a girl or they are both sexes in one. Better not be like them durn tribbles which come out knocked up because I won't have room! So far no suprises in the morning with more of em so I guess they are not mature yet?

So PIKA, COME GET YOUR KIDS!!!!

[mobilezen]

I am very very confused and bewildered by this post haha

[TxLerman]

I'm very confused. I thought PIKA was a stuffed animal that resembled a pokemon. Now we have a member carrying on a conversation and thinking he is hearing an inanimate object talk to him. Where are the men with the very long sleeve jackets?? They have another pick-up to make in Dallas.