Worst joke thread

[elbe]

A man goes to the Baptist Church to see the pastor. He said pastor I would like to join your church. The Pastor says delighted, but you have to answer a question to be a member. Ok the guy says. The Pastor asks, where is Jesus from. The guy thinks for a moment and says Beaumont. The Pastor shakes his head and says no, you can't be a member.

A few days later the guy walks in to a Lutheran church and asks to be a member. The Pastor once again says I must ask you a question. Guy says OK. Question: Where is Jesus from. Guy answers Tyler. Pastor says I afraid not and you can't be a member.

A couple weeks later the guy goes into a Catholic church he tells the Father he wants to be a member. The Father says great glad to have you. The guy says aren't you going to ask me any questions? The Father says No, we are just happy to have you. Guy says well, Father answer me this: Where is Jesus from. The Father says my son he is from Palestine. The guy says: Geez I knew it was somewhere in east Texas.

[CaptainTom]

A guy walks into a bar and takes a seat.
He asks the bartender " Is that guy over at the end of the bar who I think it is?" The bartender replies " Yes, that is Jesus Christ our Lord!" The guy says "Well, buy him a beer on me".
A second guy comes in and sits down. Same thing....... buy him a wine on me.
A third guy comes in and sits down. Same thing...... buy him a cocktail on me.

After a while, the mysterious guy at the end of the bar gets up and approaches the drink buyers. He puts his hand on the shoulder of the first guy and says "Thank you my son". The first guy immediately shouts out " I've had bursitis in my shoulder for ten years, and now I don't feel any discomfort, it is a miracle".
The mystery man puts his hand on the head of the second guy and says "Thank you my son". The second guy immediately shouts out " Oh ! I've had migraines my whole life and it is gone. I've never felt better. It's a miracle!"
The mystery man turns to the third man and reaches toward him. "Don't touch me !" says the third man.
The mystery man says " I'm sorry my son, are you an atheist, an agnostic,
a muslim?" "No !" said the third man, "I'm on workmans compensation".