The World According to the Digital Prophet (part 1)...

[Digital Prophet]

It seems obvious to me that this prolonged debate on the measure of success is entirely pointless. What makes a person "successful"? Money? Fame? Hot and cold running redheads? Property? Enduring immortality through the ages with your name riding the lips and minds of generations as yet defined?

Pft.

The true measure of a man's success is ... his bathroom. That's it. His bathroom. More specifically, since most measures of success are aligned with one's profession, the size of his bathroom at work.

Allow me to expound for but a moment. The law of which I speak is this: "If the square footage of one's office exceeds that of the potty in which he does he pottieness at the office, then he or she shall be considered 'successful'. "

Case in point: I once proffered this observation to my CEO and he looked at me as if I had said that the twelve apostles were a teenage latin rap group. "Excuse me?"

To which my learned reply was: "Ok El Jeffe Grande, think way way way way back to the days of when you were but a lowly EIT. Did you have your own office?"

"Yes."

"Did you have your own bathroom?"

"No."

"Ok, so you used the communal excrement sacrife alter. Now think hard, was your office bigger than your bathroom?"

And after several seconds of thought on the matter and deliberation as to whether or not I was screwing with him, "No, the bathroom was bigger."

"Ok pokey. Now here is the pudding part of the proof. What is your current position in our firm?"

"CEO." (as an aside, I have decided stands "continuously enduring others")

"Yup and do you have your own prive potty portal?"

"Yes"

"And, sir, please tell this jury of plushies and government agencies this: is your current office larger than your private poo station?"

"Yes it is."

"Well there you have it. As lowly flunky you were forced to poo in the wild amongst the other beasts. Thus the area you pottied in was larger than the area where you worked. However, now as the alpha chimp you have not only your own private occupational domocile but your private tree for which to raise your leg. AND, since your office is larger than your bathroom you kind sir are ... successful."

Prophet out.

[johnastovall]

No, the true measure of success is a one holer without a door that looks out from a high mountain on a million acres of wilderness. Having to go to a job regardless of the size of ones loo is a true measure of failure in life.

[srwatters]

Originally Posted by johnastovall

No, the true measure of success is a one holer without a door that looks out from a high mountain on a million acres of wilderness. Having to go to a job regardless of the size of ones loo is a true measure of failure in life.

Sorry John, but both I and more importantly my wife will disagree with your definition.

Not so much as to do with the million acres of wilderness, but solely with the backside splinters from the 'one holer'

Well crafted as usual DP.

But I have an off topic query for you: What does the Plushie One think of the puppy? There must be a story in that vein...

[johnastovall]

Originally Posted by srwatters

Sorry John, but both I and more importantly my wife will disagree with your definition.

Not so much as to do with the million acres of wilderness, but solely with the backside splinters from the 'one holer'

Well crafted as usual DP.

But I have an off topic query for you: What does the Plushie One think of the puppy? There must be a story in that vein...

You've never had the pleasure of a well made one holer seat made of a good native hardwood, worked, smoothed and polished to where it's is as smooth as a baby's bottom.

Elegance and craftsmanship go hand in hand hand with the truly good life.

[NikonShooter]

Hahahaha.