Funny sayings

[JohnRushing]

I just made a post that got me to thinking about some of the funny sayings different fields have.

Photographers Shoot animals, people and even kids all the time. When we get home we blow them up.

I he oil field joints are 20ft long and dope comes in five gallon buckets! Joints of pipe that is and pipe dope.

Know any other funny ways we describe things?

Sorry for all the wierd post but I'm bored up here, mom sleeps all the time and theres nothing on t.v so I have to take it out on you all .

[TXFZ1]

I always thought the brits were funny with the "I'll knock you up in the evening."

David

[Lghtning4u]

Man John, some folks just have waaaaaaay to much time on their hands, lmao!

[Patti Edens]

On my first day working for Pipeline, the guys were talking about "running pigs." Of course I was thinking of those cute little pink Babe-type pigs. I couldn't imagine why they would have pigs at a pipeline station. Finally after the third or so mention of these "pigs", I asked what they did with the pigs.

I was told that they used them to clean up the pipeline. I laughed and said, "No, really." They assured me that's what they were for. I was very skeptical but still somewhat phreaked out because they seemed so matter of fact about it.

Finally one of the guys realized that I had no idea that a "pig" was actually what pipeliners call a scraper. A scraper is a big foam (usually, but there are other kinds) bullet or spherical plug that they put through pipelines for several different reasons. Sometimes it's to clean them up or segregate products or in some cases they have "smart pigs" that have instruments attached and they can evaluate the condition of the inside of the line.

Well, I'll never live that one down. I still get a mental picture of Babe being flushed head first down a pipeline screaming all the way.

[Digital Prophet]

1. "There's enough blue sky to make a pair of pants." - Wildcrotch's Granny
2. "Don't pull a dead cow out of a ditch." - Some guy offshore
3. "I'm tired enough to cook an egg in my shoe." - Pika
4. "He was mad enough to cook a eagle." - The old broad that used to live by me
5. "He's dumb enough to fall upside down." - Nanny
6. "A pie in every hole." - Fred Mertz
7. "I got to see a man about a duck." - Me

Prophet out.

[GeoffreyB]

Having grown up in the north (got here as fast as I could), I love some of the "southern" expressions I've heard over the years - many from an Army buddy from the backwaters of Louisianna

Busier than a one-legged man in an A*@-kicking contest.

It was so cold I was shakin' like a yard dog sh*tting peach seeds

Busier than a three-legged cat burying sh*t on a tin roof

You'll fall down and break your wrist-watch!!

Happy as a tick on a hound-dog

[Torrey]

My dad used to sometimes say "he's moving faster than a spotted-ass ape before daybreak". He said his dad used to say it, but neither of us knew exactly what it means.

[Daniel Bates]

Apparently, primates with mottled-colour backsides move relatively quickly before sunrise.

[all_purple2me]

I use to have a friend that used this one when it was cold :)
"colder than a witches t*tty wearing a brass bra doing pushups in the snow" - teenage boys LOL

how about 'fixin'. I never realized that other people didn't use the word the same way most Texans do until I went to Aruba & someone asked me 'what was broke?'

And then you have my dad: 'we don't need an exercise program round here, we get enough, jumping to conclusions, flying off the handle & running around in circles"

and never forget that you can be 'sexier than a chicken with socks on' :) LOL

[laurielblack]

Just a few of my Nanny's regular sayings:

"What goes up the devil's back crawls down the devil's belly."

"She's sweatin' like a whore in church."

"It's colder than a welldigger's a$$ in the Klondikes."

"He couldn't pour pi$$ out of a boot with the directions on the heel."

"He couldn't find his a$$ with both hands."

"That (insert noun here) is as big as Ike!"

Like her language, she was quite the colorful character in her 94 years here on Earth. :)

[Steelsun]

Back to employment/work types:

When tracing an email, IP, the term "finger" is used. Heard by an outsider it can sound weird "Go finger him"

One of the non-PIs in the company thought I was doing pest control one evening when they heard I was going to do a "Bug Sweep." (and that's the layman's wording for it, we call is TSCM - Technical Surveillance Counter Measures)

"Dumpster Diving" seldom includes a bellyflop or cannon ball.

Then there are terms that are just nicks: Locates, Skips, CNA, etc.

And then there is the military terms we use:
BOHICA (which we use when certain sales people come running to our office)
CYA
REMF

[Edg02]

My co-worker " It's hotter than the devils a$$ up in the tower."

Needless to say we were all falling on the floor laughing.

and how she knows how hot the devil's a$$ is, I don't care to know

[Digital Prophet]

Originally Posted by Edg02

My co-worker " It's hotter than the devils a$$ up in the tower."

Needless to say we were all falling on the floor laughing.

and how she knows how hot the devil's a$$ is, I don't care to know

That is my kind of woman.

Prophet out.

[Night Owl]

A few of mine (some are variations on the above):

"Busier'n a one-legged man in an a**-kciking contest." = Gosh, I'm busy.

"Colder'n a witch's t*t in a brass bra." = It's awfully chilly.

"Colder'n a well digger's a** in the Klondike." = Brr.

"Windy 'nuff to blow the hay out of a horse." = It's a might windy.

"Worthless as hen sh*t on a pump handle." = Not very useful at all.

"Hotter'n the hinges of Hades." = Its warm out.

"Locked-up tighter'n a virgin on prom night." = Its very secure.

"Rainin' like a cow peein' on a flat rock." = There is heavy rain occurring.

"Jumped on it like a duck on a junebug." = Enthusiastically seized an opportunity.

"The other side of East Jesus." = A great distance away.

"East Bumf**kistan." = Farther than East Jesus.

"Dumber'n a box of rocks." = Ain't too bright.

"Not the brightest bulb in the chandelier." = Pretty dim.

"One taco short of a combination plate." = A little off, mentally.

[Steelsun]

One we use alot in the office with each other:
"I'm on it like a pitt bull on a poodle"