Just blowing off stream/frustration...

[Debbi]

n/m

[HeatherLou]

I'm so sorry Debbi! You and I have had this conversation LOTS of times, as Jeffipoo is the same way. So I completely understand where your coming from. You wanna borrow my baseball bat:) Just kidding! We are very happy for you that you may get to shoot an Op Love session, what great fun that will be!

[Debbi]

Thanks, Sweetie! Appreciate the support and I KNOW you know where I'm coming from. What happened to just being supportive? Yes, it will be wonderful if I get to do it. I just pray I can get thru the session without crying.

[Ahh!]

Kissinger said, "Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy".

Bill Engvall said, "I'm just a guy", and as such am not qualified to give you advice.

Even us "very supportive" guys get it wrong from time to time. I don't always "get it" when my "favorite second shooter" is into something that I don't see at first glance. I've made some pretty harsh sounding comments about her efforts.

He sounds pretty wonderful. And you have some wonderful things going your way. You'll just have to suck it up for the moment, sailor. Your excitement and sparks will carry the day. And from what it sounds, I am confident you will.

I know I swell with pride evertime I see those in uniform passing by in the airports. Every time. I wonder where they are going, forward or for R&R. Who stays behind and prays for them? What character could I discover should I strike up a conversation. Everytime I do, I am richly rewarded.

But as dismal as this sounds, sometimes I fail to seize the chance to enage them and salute their efforts on my behalf. Maybe the hubster is in the same place for the moment...

This too shall pass.

[Debbi]

Thanks, Peter - and you are probably right. After all this time, I still don't get the Venus/Mars thing. He is a great guy but this one really threw me. I do appreciate your "guy's view". Sometimes that's hard to see in the moment.

[CanonShooter]

I can understand your situation and his. First I'm not siding with either of you but just teling you how I've been through the same thing and put my wife through it also. I'm into drag racing and have been every since I started driving almost 30 years ago. I've tried to get my wife interested in it for our whole 24 years of marrage but shes just not interested. When me and my son built our race car three years ago we were extremely excited about racing a car that we built together but no matter how much we talked about it my wife just wasn't interested, she would always get this glazed look and would space out on us. I understand how she feels though because I get the same way when her or my daughter talk talk about their favorite hobby, scrapebooking. I have honestly tried to listen and get interested but I just can't! She starts talking and I try really hard to listen but after about two minutes it's like shes speaking spanish, which I don't understand. I do have to say your husband should at least make an attemp to get interested and if he can''t then you should just accept that it's just not his thing. One thing he should never ever do is tell you that it's just not important to him, man thats a no no. I don't care how boreing I might find my wifes hobby, if she enjoys it then it is important to me. I might not like her hobby for myself, it might bore the crap out of me, and it might even be dumb to me (which I would never let her know) but it would still be important to me because it's important to her and gives her joy. Maybe he just wasn't thinking about the words he used. I'm sure he didn't mean it wasn't important to him but maybe that he just wasn't interested. I'm sorry he hurt your feelings but I'm sure you know that along with marraige comes hurt feelings. What makes marraige so special is that the couple can forgive each other and put it in the past, I can't count the number of times me and my wife have hurt each others feelings but it was never on purpose and we always worked through it and became stronger. Congrats on the opertunity, jump on the chance and enjoy it and maybe your husband will see the joy your getting and will come around.

[HotHolly]

You vent away! Maybe someone will offer some insanely useful insight for you. Doubt it will be me! lol!

[iCe]

You know... I've spent years trying to decipher the man/woman thing... maybe even years and years... and I've come to the conclusion that ya'll are just messed up

I'M KIDDING!!!

He is very supportive about what I buy, the workshops I take and has no problem planning great vacations around it - he just doesn't want to talk about it and please don't ask his opinion on a pic/processing.

Talk to some women where the husband doesn't support them like yours does... sometimes what we have doesn't seem all that great until we talk to someone that doesn't have it.

The Mars / Venus book was tripe IMHO... For Men Only and For Women Only are the best out there IMHO... it's light reading but it does offer some good insight into the differences in the way that men and women think.

For instance... Not that long ago I was asked "what are you thinking about?" The question was asked after the person that I was seeing at the time and I had had a little tiff. Nothing major... just a disagreement. So about an hour later she asks "the question". I truthfully said "nothing". She says "that's bullsh.t. Nobody just thinks about nothing". I was like... "well... that's what I'm thinking about"... she gets all huffy and walks off. I think she is loony... life goes on Fast forward... I pick up a copy of For Men Only *recommended on this very forum come to think of it* and I get to the section where the authors talk about this very thing. Apparently, from what I've read and what research I've done, women can't turn their thoughts off. Not only that... you think about multiple things at the same time (some women I've asked named off as many as 12 or 13 things that are going through their mind at the same time. No wonder ya'll are so messed up ) News flash ladies... guys don't think like that. We can multi-task but women are the rulers of the multi-tasking world and thank God for ya! Even better... we can turn it off. That's right... when we say we are thinking about nothing... the only neurons we have firing are the ones that keep our heart, lungs, and ... stuff... operating...

The other day my daughter called to wish me happy birthday. She was "depressed" but not sure why. A sure sign that she wanted to talk Sensing that there might be man issues I eventually asked "where's Les". Les is her fiance (I was recently informed that when he asked her to marry him he was no longer her boyfriend... oooo.... K)... she says... oh he's in the kitchen... boo hoo HE WON'T TALK TO ME wahhh... now... Les is a good man. He loves her and he's always done right by her from what I can tell... 99.99% of the time they have a very close relationship. So I ask a few pointed questions and finally come to the conclusion that Les is just not in the mood to talk... so I tell her... "baby girl... you need to know that sometimes guys just don't want to talk. And we don't want to be asked why we don't want to talk. It kind of messes the whole we don't want to talk thing up if we talk when we don't want to She says "Yeah but we are ENGAGED!!! wahh... we should be able to talk about anything" I asked her if she had ever heard the words "need some space" she says yeah... I told her to give him some space... he'll come around. They went to the beach for the weekend

Thank God for women...

[Debbi]

Thanks everyone. It'll be better, soon. I did finally ask him if he realized he hurt my feelings last night. He said, "yeah, after I said it". Well, he's apologized now. Not real sure it was heartfelt but an apology nonetheless. Once I have actually had some sleep, I might even forgive him (j/k). It's all part of the marriage deal and most days I wouldn't trade it for the world.

BTW, Ice. The mars/venus quote was just thrown out there. I've never read the book either. As far as turning off your brains, GOD I wish we could do that. Sometimes I think I must have ADD because it just won't stop. (No offense there, my oldest actually has ADD.) Have a great day everyone!