Woods' Boost ... (Warning This Post Contains Penile Humor)

[Digital Prophet]

Ok. So here is the abridged version:

Some lawsuit happy putz is suing the maker of Boost Plus, Novartis Consumer Health Inc., because (get this) it gave him an erection that would not go away.



Um ok. Now first of all allow me to say that I find this to be one of the strangest of recent lawsuit phenomenon that I have heard of lately. "You gave me a stiffy!! Eat lawsuit Evil Doer!"

What, you may ask, is the specifically technically medically appropriate term for "stiffy-itis"? Priapism. No really they have a name for it. I mean besides "popular with the ladies". And apparently it can be serious. How serious? As serious as an penis can get I would assume. But I'm not a lawyer.

So. Let's review. Mr. Woods (no really that is his name) drank a Boost Plus and went to bed to discover that his genitals had been up all night building the leaning tower of penis. When said tower did not come crashing down like the Tower of Babbel he apparently went to the ER.

"Excuse me I need to see a doctor. The problem? My winky won't shrinky."

Now this all leads me back to the days when Viagra was new in the world and no one lived in fear of the perpetual pecker. I would hear the line "erection lasting for more than four hours may require medical attention ..." Yeah if that medical attention is a hot redhead in a latex nurse's outfit.

I mean come on. If I had an erection that lasted for more than four hours the only way my doctor would ever find out is when he was driving down the road and saw my billboard. "Tired of the short game? Call the Prophet. Erections guaranteed for four hours or your money back!"

I wouldn't sue anyone. Hell, I'd send them a tip on my way out to go buy lottery tickets!

I don't know. Maybe it's just me. But the world has gone nuts. No pun intended. People that sue McDonald's for being fat. People that sue Apple for because they listen to thier iPods too loud. I mean what's next? Is some chick going to sue Duracell because she had an orgasm? Will I sue the internet for allowing me to racially offend myself by reading my own posts?

All I know is that this morning I woke up ... well at any rate I didn't sue anyone. But I do suspect that Alyson Hannigan was criminally responsible.

Prophet out.

[Steelsun]

Amen brother.

[MarcoFromHouston]

Some people just can not handle that much jelly!