Did yall see this Dear Abby?

[OTRphoto]

OK - so I'm not a wedding photographer (and don't really care to be) and not a professional photographer by any means. But after reading many "etiquette" posts out here I found the differences in opion between professionals and attendees kinda interesting.


original letter:
Dear Abby 4/20/2007:
DEAR ABBY: The wedding season is approaching, and on behalf of all professional photographers, I'm writing about the rudeness of wedding guests who bring their own cameras to the wedding ceremony. They behave as if they're at a tourist attraction.
Professional photographers honor church rules, and often the wishes of the wedding party, by not "blinding" the bride, the groom or the clergy by taking flash photos during the ceremony.

After the ceremony, when we're trying to set up formal group pictures, these same guests jump in front of us like paparazzi! I've even seen mothers of the bride whip out a camera. Why do people hire a professional photographer and then allow this to happen?

Abby, please inform these people how rude they are. The bride and groom have hired us to capture their wedding on film. If the wedding guests want pictures, they can order them through the bride. Guests do not bring extra flowers or an extra cake to supplement the efforts of the florist and caterer, so why do they do this to the photographer? Our job must be done in a timely manner, and the kind of interference I have described prevents us from doing our best work in the least amount of time. -- MIFFED PRO IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR MIFFED: I'm printing your message, but it's not going to be popular. I agree that taking flash pictures during a church service is considered rude, and it can detract from the solemnity of the ceremony.

However, most couples appreciate both the formal photographs and the amateur snapshots. Candid shots caught by amateurs often reflect the personalities of the wedding party and guests better than the formal, posed portraits taken by professionals because the subjects are more relaxed.

P.S. Some photographers avoid the problems you're encountering by taking their formal portraits before the ceremony. If this doesn't work for you, consider bringing an assistant along to help with "crowd control."


replies:
Dear Abby 06/14/07:

DEAR ABBY: I feel compelled to comment about the letter from "Miffed Pro in South Carolina" (April 20), the professional photographer who complained about guests taking photographs at weddings.

I am a clergyperson who has seen more than my share of rude, incompetent professional photographers. I have seen them attempt to set up tripods at the altar, leaving no room for the wedding party to stand. I have seen them squat in the middle of the aisle, stopping each couple as they approach to get a "candid" shot. I have cleaned up front pews cluttered with their camera cases and jackets thrown over the altar, delaying the start of the ceremony.

After the wedding, they set up equipment, checking lighting and settings interminably until the bride has lost every bit of "glow" and the candles have burned to stumps. One bride finally shouted, "Enough!" and burst into tears because she wanted to go to her reception.
Ultimately, the bride and groom are often left with substandard photos at a premium price. This, I believe, is why guests bring their own cameras -- so they can capture some fun-filled memories of the day that are affordable. -- MICHIGAN MINISTER

DEAR MINISTER: Ouch! I'm sorry you have had such a disappointing experience with unprofessional professional wedding photographers. Some readers echoed your sentiments -- photos lost, lens caps accidentally left on, photo labs burning down -- while others described a wedding day spent in blissful harmony during which photographer, bridal couple and guests -- through compromise and communication -- made the experience a snap. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: My wedding photographer explained to the guests that he was going to take the formal shots first, then they could take their pictures while we were still posed for a few more minutes. That way everyone could get the "good shots."

As for the "candid shots" my guests took, I love them. In one of them, my 84-year-old uncle was doing the twist with my 92-year-old grandmother. I was delighted because I didn't see it happening. Please, Abby, tell the pros that everyone with a camera is contributing to the bride and groom's special day. -- CHERYL IN GEORGIA

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I hired a professional for our wedding. We waited patiently for four to six weeks after our honeymoon for word that the pictures were ready. He never called. I finally contacted him, and after several minutes of stammering he told me that he had "lost" all the rolls of film. Thank goodness my husband's sister had provided disposable cameras at each table at our reception, otherwise there wouldn't have been a single photo of our wedding day. -- ANNETTA IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA

DEAR ABBY: I was married two years ago, and one of the best presents we received was from a couple who took pictures through the entire ceremony. By the time our reception dinner was served, this couple had taken their photos to a one-hour lab, so we had pictures of our wedding before we even left for our honeymoon. -- LOVED THE CANDIDS IN MICHIGAN

DEAR ABBY: Taking formal, posed portraits prior to the wedding ceremony is fine, but only if the bride doesn't mind letting her groom see her before the wedding. -- FORMER PHOTOGRAPHER'S ASSISTANT IN KENTUCKY

DEAR ABBY: In many hundreds of weddings, I have never had a problem with guests stopping me from doing my job, and I have always treated them with respect and dignity. I often take guests' cameras when asked, and snap a few for them so they can be in their own photos. -- EXPERIENCED PRO IN WASHINGTON, MAINE

DEAR ABBY: Shortly after my wedding, I received a card with a photo in it taken by my husband's aunt. It was of my husband looking at me as I walked down the aisle. No one else had thought to take one like it. We had beautiful formal portraits done, but this is the one I keep on the nightstand so that the expression of love on his face is the first thing that greets me each morning. -- DEBRA IN NORTH ATTLEBORO, MASS.

[hmiles619]

sounds like an a-hole photographer in the original post

[brad]

Depends on what the original photographer is talking about. I had a similar problem trying to shoot formals at my first solo wedding... after which, I started including in the contract that if the B&G wanted formals, then they would have to tell their family/guests to step back while we shot them.

I have no problem with other guests shooting during formals... as long as they don't jump into my frame.

Nowadays, I quietly explain to any people that may be there during formals that we need these photos to be the best they can be and that I will give them time after each pose for their own photos... and I have never had a problem since.

[OTRphoto]

When my cousin got married a few years back she came to me beforehand and said that even though she had a videographer and photographer hired, she always loves the candid pics I take of the family and would I bring my lil p-n-s and take pics for her. Her reasoning was that she was worried that because she had to give the photog a short "list" of important people he needed to get pics of that she wouldn't get many pics of all the other "less" important people. She also had the disposable cameras on all the tables at the reception.

I knew that it was wrong for me to "interfere" with the professionals and so I stayed back while he did most of the formals. But I did shoot some between his shots of them goofing off. Some turned out great and she has lots of candid shots of random family members and friends (that I didn't even know). The images wern't worth a whole heck of a lot, but was still the best present I could afford at the time.

[kenw]

wedding photogtraphers often wax eloquently about their latest runin with a "bridezilla", but I have noticed over the years more than one "photogzilla". One in particular (many, many years ago) was obnoxious, demanding, pompous and quite arrogant when people didn't "get with it" and pose instantly and perfectly, and generally ruined the atmosphere for everyone involved. The groom was ready to take him outside, and the mother of the bride was in tears from embarassment.

[Toad]

Funny... The wedding photographer that we hired was quick on the draw to catch the candid shots as well.
Toad

[suzyjazz]

It sounds like Abby's point of view is very slanted! She thinks professional photographers only take a few posed photos and they turn out all stiff. Very interesting read.

[Cope]

When I am at a wedding, I stand near the pro but out of his way. I visit with him before the wedding and let him know I will wait for his flash before I shoot. I have never had a problem when doing this, but I can imagine the frustration when you meter a shot and just as you take the picture 15 flashes go off from all over the church/reception hall.

[lucian]

When I and my partner were doing weddings on the east coast 70's, we had very few problems with guests. And we shot with Mamiya Super 23s and Graflex Strobomatic 500 flash units. We never set up lights, tripods, etc. We also got great results.

However on one wedding, and the only wedding we had like this, we were on the altar. We had asked and the minister and the wedding party agreed to flash from us during the ceremony. Cool.

I was at the piano. Just before the vows were read the minister said anyone wanting to take pictures was welcome to do so. Everyone with a camera was on the altar in a "flash" (pun intended). I was pinned at the piano with at least four people behind me. One person even was stepping on my hand which was on the piano bench as I tried to get room to breathe.

This wasn't the bridezilla but the guest-zillaS. The groom's-mother-zilla is another story and another wedding. Full of fear. I'll have to write about that one later.