Pixtus - Photography Forum, Photographers, Photo Tips

DeLeon · **Should I do anything about this? -** 06-26-2007, 02:03 PM

My 16 yr old cousin has a Myspace page and I take a look at it every now and then. I took a look at it this afternoon and she has several pics of herself at a party doing things that a 16yr old just should not be doing, with people that look quite a bit older than her. Her mother has no idea how to use myspace and doesn't check up on her on it. Should I show her mom the pics, or say something to my cousin about it?

She thinks im just an old fart, and I'm already on her bad side after I gave her the "I know how teenage boys think, even the nice ones." talk...but I think she will thank me later.

I don't know what to do....there are way to many pregnant teenagers around for me to just blow it off as part of growing up.

JPalmer · 06-26-2007, 02:18 PM

if you can see it....

so can 1000s of potential sexual predators looking for that exact things

CaptainTom · 06-26-2007, 02:26 PM

IMHO.
I would speak with her about it, and let her know that what she is doing is very dangerous.
I would not threaten to tell her momma, but let her know that if her momma found out, she would probably be in deep water.

Since she is a cousin, you really can't do anything but give her advice, and hope she figures things out before it's too late.

Bella · 06-26-2007, 04:04 PM

As a parent, if it were my son/daughter, I'd want you to tell me. Of course, that's assuming the parents even care. I don't know them so I can't make that judgement.

-Cindy

carrbowl · 06-26-2007, 04:24 PM

I always err on the side of "what would I want someone else to do for me" side and say, let them know and then it is their decision. If they don't know, they can't do anything. If they know, they can choose what to do. My kids always get mad because I do know a few things(and believe me it is not enough) about the computer--so far just enough to stay ahead of them. Kids know way too much these days ---and yet not enough to know how dangerous things are.

Daylon · 06-26-2007, 05:26 PM

Well, I'm curious on what these activities are - you don't have to go into detail of course, but one person's shocking behaviour can be seen as no big deal to someone else...not taking sides just trying to get more information.

If she's doing something clearly illegal (smoking pot, drinking) or dangerous that's another thing and you should certainly let the parents know..

JenJohnson79 · 06-26-2007, 05:54 PM

I frequently check my younger sister's page. . . she's 10 years younger than I am. I have sat behind her with my father (single dad, in poor health) and made her remove images of herself that I felt were inappropriate.

And I have also called a night club I knew was 21 and over that she was getting into with a fake id, via myspace is how I found out that she had the id and was going to the club and drinking. I talked to the owner and threatened all kinds of legal action. Told him her name, sent him her picture, and told him if I knew of her being in there again, TABC would be contacted, as well as the police. Would my sister get in trouble. . . yes but I'd rather her get in trouble for trying/using a fake ID than be raped, or worse by someone way older than she is.

Dobick · 06-26-2007, 06:09 PM

This is coming from a non-parent, so the opinion is not worth much, but I would not hesitate to show her mother. Just let her Mother see the page and the pics, and then let the Mom decide how to handle it. If the mom doesn't have any idea that things are going on, and that the daughter is going places she shouldn't be with people that no one really knows, then her mom needs to know, so that she can get to the bottom of everything that is going on, and maybe give some consequences for bad behavior, instead of having to find out about the bad behavior from a pregnancy test or a DUI, etc...

jagphoto · 06:19 PM

I definitely would want to know, and being that she's 16...well, you don't need to worry about what she will say. She doesn't even have to know how her mom found out.

studiocygnet · 06-26-2007, 06:20 PM

Do you ever get together with your aunt (her mother)? If so, you could just casually mention "hey have you seen (your cousin's name) my space page lately? Let's see if she has any cool pics up" and then go there on your computer and let her mom judge for herself whether the pictures are appropriate or not. That way you are not prejudicing her moms reaction by your own.
My sister had me sign my nieces and nephews up as my friends on my space so I could check out their pictures and videos. Some of my nephews' prom photos seemed a bit wild to me, but my sister seems ok with them, and they're her kids.

Cybastean · 06-26-2007, 06:23 PM

I'm a parent (4 kids from 22 to 14) and if this were serious stuff concerning a minor child, I'd want to know. What's more, if it were some serious and potentially dangerous conduct that got my kid hurt or arrested and I learned that you withheld information that could have prevented it because you didn't want to "rat" on your cousin, you'd be on my sh*t list forever.

DeLeon · 06-26-2007, 10:18 PM

Well, the pictures were of her drinking, and being very "flirtatious". They live next door to me and I think I will go ahead and have a chat with her mom tomorrow.

Wes · 06-26-2007, 10:37 PM

Good for you. It's not about how the child will feel about it, or even if she will like you less afterwards. By knowing about it, you're responsible for what you do with that info. What if she got raped or something as a result of the activities you're privvy to? How would you ever be able to face her parents again if you knew about her dangerous behavior but never told them about it?

You're doing the right thing by talking to the mom.