A Weird request

[scott1120]

Does anyone have any good tips for getting a 3yr old to bed by themselves? My 3 yr old always wants mommy or daddy to sit in her room until she goes to sleep, this routine is turning into about 45 minutes. She has a nite lite, so it is not dark in there. The only option I can think of is to close her door all the way.
Any ideas?

[kachina]

Scott,

We got through this by reading the bedtime story on the couch instead of the bedrooms. It took a while to transition but we stopped reading in the rocking chair and started reading on the couch. Our routine is now read story, brush teeth, lights out. However, it did take my youngest son longer than my oldest to transition.

I'm assuming that your daughter has a big girl bed? If not, get one and make a big deal out of how grown up she is now. This worked with my oldest really well.

Good luck! Also, just remember that it is just another phase. She WILL grow out of it sooner than you think.

Rusty

[AnnetteT]

I have a four-year-old...(we also live in Allen, btw!)

We started a routine with him when he was a baby -- just for this reason...I didn't want this to ever happen...

But, what we do is keep the same routine every night. It is always bath or shower, tootbrushing, 2 stories (unless he's been naughty, then he loses a story) OR sing a couple of songs (sometimes dance...LOL), then he has about 20 CDs and a CD player -- about half are children's audio books I downloaded from Audible.com. He also has CDs I've made from Ralph's World, Laurie Berkner, Celtic music -- anything and everything. Good sleepy music. But, lately, he likes the audio books the best...I think the voices are comforting...We taught him how to operate the CD player (we bought a boombox that would be easy for him) and he has a remote...if it finishes, and he's still awake, he starts it over...if he wakes up at 3 am scared -- sometimes he calls for us -- sometimes he just starts his CD...

I think he actually looks forward to going to bed because he gets quality mommy/daddy time...

Of course...ahem...one night at 3 am we hear rock and roll music really loud...we freaked out, ran in there and he's dancing to his Cars soundtrack (not on the approved "nighttime" music list!!!!!) in the middle of his room...Good grief...LOL!! I thought we had a few more years until we had to say "shut that music off!"

BTW...he had a night light, too...but it just wasn't enough. He has a huge bedroom and it wasn't "light" enough...so we went to IKEA and they had a moon "lamp" for the wall that makes a nice soft glow...We got that and it goes on every night...I think it was like 6 dollars?? He loves his moon lamp...

Hope some of this helps!

[scott1120]

Rusty -Yes, she has a big girl bed.
Annette - We are planning on getting her a CD player (just like her sister).
The routine is pretty much the same everynight - bath, jammies, teeth, Hannah Montanna, story in bed. I think we are just going to have start telling her we are leaving after story. I used to think it was she had not burned enough energy during the day, but even on the days she goes outside alot and does not take a nap she is still the same.

[loana0320]

Ohhhh Scott I am sorry I wish I had advice!
My three lil ones go to bed alone I just go tuck them in bed tell them I love them and turn lights off and close the door completely.. I do have a monitor in my nightstand... now they all share a room that's how my oldest one wanted it so just did this about 6 months ago.. but I do have kept a cd player in their room since the oldest one was a newborn it used to play classical music very soft day and night I just had it in repeat if the cd went out I would burn another one or if the cd player just buy a new one LOL. now I have the cd with womb sounds with very soft music and heartbeat is been going nonstop for the past 18 months on the same CD LOL... I might need to burn a new one I never stop it so is on 24/7

[photonewb]

I think I basically got to the point where I tucked my daughter in and then walked out. If she cries she cries. they have to get used to it sometime. You can't baby them forever. I know it sounds mean, but it's the way my mom raised me and I think I came out okay....well sometimes

[boxofrocks]

Scott,

Boy, does this sound familiar. My son is 3 yrs and 3 mos, and we just got out of that stage.

Our routine is like this now

1. Potty, pajamas, teeth brushed
2. Into the bed for a story
3. After story, start the CD player with one of his favorite CDs that HE has to pick (control freak)
4. Stay in his room and rub his back for one song, then out the door.

We also have a humidifier in the room that provides some white noise--even when run dry.

With our boy, we've found that setting his expectation levels helps--we tell him what the drill will be, and do our best not to vary from it. It's hard, and takes a while for them to get into a new routine--took us almost 3 months, but we were changing schools and going to the big boy bed at the same time. That caused lots of turmoil around our house for a while.

Good luck!

[BlueStar-57]

Tell her what the big girl routine will be and then follow it. This post made me remember crying myself to sleep as a child that I wouldn't have remembered otherwise. It's the childs nature to push the parent's buttons and the parents duty to lay down the law no matter how hard it is to do it. Learning to follow rules early on makes it easier to follow rules later in life.

But I wouldn't close the door on her just to be on the safe side unless she can easily open it to get out in case of fire, burglers, etc. I recall a case several years ago when a little girl was stolen out of her bedroom window that was broken into. Aside from that she will also need to be able to come to you in case she gets sick during the night, it happens.

As I recall these are called growing pains, and those are pains of the child and parents <g>. Good luck and I hope it subsides quickly for you, think I drug it out for as long as I could hehe.

[epoh]

When we moved my son to a twin sized bed, he got up the first few nights, but we just put him back in bed, told him night-night and left the room. After about a week he was sleeping just fine. Now, at 3.5 when we say it's bed time, he picks out a toy, says good night to his daddy and gets into bed. He and I say our prayers then I leave. (The toy issue helps get him into bed willingly. He's usually asleep within 5 mins even with the toy, so we figure what's the harm?)

[adirty1]

Oh god. we are in for that in the next few years. we are just about to have our first. I seem to remember just being put in the bedroom and told to go to bed. I am sure we had story or something but we had 7 kids and i had to share a room with my brother so i was not alone. I am going to have to call mom and see what really went on. great now something else to worry about. I damn near had a panic attack at babies R us the other day. that place is just to much. the wife now goes alone. I just say buy it....

[epoh]

Just STAY AWAY FROM BABIES R US, and everything will be fine. I promise. There is nothing you need for a baby that can't be purchased from Walmart, Target & the internet. :) BRU is satan's playground. I hate that place.

[photonewb]

Originally Posted by epoh

When we moved my son to a twin sized bed, he got up the first few nights, but we just put him back in bed, told him night-night and left the room. After about a week he was sleeping just fine. Now, at 3.5 when we say it's bed time, he picks out a toy, says good night to his daddy and gets into bed. He and I say our prayers then I leave. (The toy issue helps get him into bed willingly. He's usually asleep within 5 mins even with the toy, so we figure what's the harm?)

my daughter is 10 and still takes a "snuggle buddy" to bed with her...lol

it's a bear from Build A Bear that she got for her birthday almost 4 years ago, that or a bear that her grandmother gave her when she was like 3.

[Resa]

My son was so bad about staying in his bed at bedtime, and nothing we did seemed to work, so as a last resort before I lost my mind, I resorted to bribery. If he would stay in his bed when we put him there and stay in it all night, and not come sneak into our bed, he could have chocolate milk after breakfast. Being the sweets freak that he is it worked. We had to do it for about a month.

[Michelle Allmon]

Just close the door and walk away. If that doesn't work, try to wear her out first. The side effect of that is you will get worn out which does not help if you are trying to get her to bed so you can use the computer for awhile. Yup, I'm talking about myself.

[Michelle Allmon]

ps - Stick a puppy in there. She won't leave.