Take camera to a funeral?

[OpticalPrime]

Well my wife's grandfather passed on Friday night from cancer, his funeral is tomorrow in Corsicana and Im wondering if its appropriate to take a camera? Obviously I dont want to be standing up snapping a ton of pictures with the flash and being obnoxious. But I would bet the family would appreciate a few good pictures down the road....

So really I have 2 questions..

1. is it appropriate? would u bring a camera?
2. any picture ideas for the funeral?

Corisicana is a pretty old town. The funeral home was built in the 1800s and the cemetary is very very old as well. Im sure there are plenty of good picture ops... But since im SO NEW to photography I may not be able to spot them. would love some ideas on cool 'photography' pictures instead of just some snap shots


http://www.webfh.com/fh/home/home.cfm?&fh_id=10576&ck=1

[carrbowl]

I have taken photos at a funeral before, but I always discuss with the closest family members. And no matter what they say, I listen to what they aren't saying. Sometimes they say yes but really mean no just to be polite. I ask if they want photos of deceased person and that is always a very clear indicator if they want photos. If they want photos of the deceased, then they don't mind photos at the funeral. Otherwise you have to probe some more. And of course if you don't have to use a flash, you will be less obtrusive. Some people like to have family portraits taken as that is the only time family members get together.

[CaptainTom]

I would consider it anappropriate unles asked by the very closest family member. I would not offer.
personal opinion only.

[PIC]

Most people would object and no one wants a flash and click at such. You cant ask all at the funeral so dont is my advice.

Once a family asked me to take photos of the deceased because they had no photos at all.
This was done at funeral home.

EL

[L Stegall]

When my husband's uncle passed away last year, my mother-in-law was very happy to have me take pictures of her with her remaining siblings, as well as other family "groups." They lived far away from each other and it was the only time they were together. I'd ask discretely and leave my camera in the car if they say no.

[Abel]

Originally Posted by CaptainTom

I would consider it anappropriate unles asked by the very closest family member. I would not offer.
personal opinion only.

I second Tom's response...

[carrbowl]

I would consider it inappropriate too...except they are family....I think they makes a difference, but it depends ont the family conection. Guess it depends on how close you and your wife are to her grandfather. Maybe the fact that you have to ask "us" should tell you something??? I don't know???

[OpticalPrime]

well good news is my wife's family is VERY nice and down to earth people, so asking isnt a problem. Not to mention we are really close. They are more like my family than my own at times... I guess Ill bring it along, like some mentioned... I bet people would at least want some family group pictures, etc...

I didnt really even intend/think about taking picture of the deceased... I was thinking maybe more along the lines of the funeral home, cemetery/head stone, maybe ring bears carrying casket, etc...

I dont know, this is pretty new to me. Iv only been to one funeral in my life and I was younger (this is a good thing i know)

[OpticalPrime]

p.s. i did ask my wife last night if i should bring the camera and her response was " a photographer always has their equipment" .... of course this was in a sarcastic smile because she knows how "into" I am lately with all the books, etc....

but point is, she thinks I should... but Ill get some other response from her mom and aunts/uncles, etc before i just snap away... I was just kinda looking for a more of a broad or general answer. Like I said, I havent been to many funerals so didnt know if it was an unwritten rule or anything....

[ngoduyviet]

Cultural differences I guess, but for Vietnamese, they don't mind you taking pictures at funeral and very grateful for any pictures you give them (or at least the ones I've attended). You might want to check with your wife's family just in case and it goes without saying that you'd need to be not intrusive at this type of event if allowed to shoot.

[Hanky]

Forget the cam and comfort the wife and her family.
You can allways come back to Corsicana but a wounded wife never forgets.

[Dobick]

I have a bit of a different opinion, but it will depend very heavily on how close you are with everyone that will be at the funeral. If everyone there knows you, and you know that you would not upset anyone, and also that you can be discrete to the point of not calling any attentioin to yourself, then I would say go for it, but that is dependent upon satisfying the pre-requisites of being certain that you will not offend any one that ranks above you in the closeness to the deceased, as well as an absolute empahsis on the discreet.

A friend of mine recently posted this up on his site

http://shadowdetails.com/site/

His site is in flash, so I couldn't link directly to the specific gallery. From the main page, one of the panels will be called photo essays, which will take you to 4 galleries. The top right one should be called "Funeral". He has a very poingent observation at the beginning of the gallery.

Otherwise, I would leave the camera in the car.

[DEMDeepEllumMusic]

Ok this is my experience, my mom passed away about 18 months ago and she was in a viewing room before the funeral (many funeral parlors have this viewing period the day before the funeral) and I went in there and shot pictures of her in her casket the day before and am very glad that I did.

Now on the day of the funeral I went into the chapel and took several pics of the room with the open casket (which was closed once the ceremony started) more so to get the flower arrangements in the photo and just to record the scene. Since the burial was in a mosoleum right next to the chapel there really were no pallbearers since the casket was jut rolled over to the crypt opening and a small ceremony was performed there and the family members then left.

But here is the real reason that I am so glad that I shot photos at the Cemetary that day, I asked an aunt and uncle (my moms brother) and two of their daughters to stop and let me take their pictures which I was able to get some really good shots of them. Well I didn't get a chance to see my uncle again until I went to his funeral late last year and he had gone downhill so fast after her funeral (he had ongoing medical problems for years) that I did not even recognize him in his casket and in fact my Dad who had visited with them less than 3 months before was shocked on how badly he looked. (I did not shoot any pictures at his funeral because I didn't want to remember him that way) SO I am so glad to have gotten those pics of him when he was still healthy and looked his old self.

So since this is in daylight you really don't need a flash for most of the shots and really during the ceremony itself I would not shoot anything but before the funeral and afterwards I would shoot away and if they have the viewing area where you can be alone to have your last thoughts with the deceased take the camera and take a few shots and of course shoot pics of the family afterwards because like it was mentioned before some of these people you may not see for a while if ever again.

In fact my parents have some photos of their parents funerals in a photo album at home, well my dad does.

So take the camera along and then read the vibe but don't think that taking the photos is something morbid because it isn't.

[andyz]

My mother in law took pictures of her mom's funeral. Just snaps. It struck me as a little off. I hadn't seen that before. But often the family gets together afterwards and there, I can see that it may be appropriate. As many believe this is a celebration of life, it is a mini-reunion for families spread apart in their day to day lives. So I'd say not at the funeral, but perhaps around it.

[laurielblack]

I wish, more than once a day, that someone had taken some pictures at my husband's memorial service. I didn't think about it but I sure wish I had asked someone to take pictures of the flowers, the people, the friends and family we rarely see, the church...the ceremony was beautiful but I vaguely remember the details. Pictures would have helped me tremendously.

Take the camera and then see what happens as the day goes on.