VENT - Sick of workplace standards

[suzyjazz]

I'm getting really sick of the "politics" at work. There are people in the group I support that don't appear to be doing their jobs very well: people who horribly mis-manage projects and get promoted, and people who lie and will say anything to try to make it look like they didn't mess up. And then there is me, who everyone says does a good job (at least technically speaking) and is helpful -- except for 2 women.

Example 1 - Someone went to my co-worker's desk and asked for document we aren't required to provide (long story, it'd bore you). He said we don't do that and she was really questioning this. I have more seniority (than co-worker) and was trying to help so I walked over and asked what was going on (this is a micro cubicle environment). I calmly told her that he's right, we don't do that. She said these other people have been doing it for a long time, and I said it's not something that we are required to do. She said "well that's just lovely" and walked off and then complained to my boss about my being "negative". Based on further discussion it seems pretty clear to me that she just didn't like hearing no.

Example 2 - Got stuck 2 hours late on Friday dealing with something that was nonsense. Manager is overseas so they were gone already, but earlier they gave a bad explanation of what was wrong and said the client was ticked. Since client is ticked, we make it a priority. 3 of us technical people could not figure it out and 2 hours later we end up not changing anything, so it's a total waste. Come Monday she explained a totally different problem than the one Friday! I sent an email saying something like "it looks like several people stayed late Friday night for a problem that had not been full explained." I just wanted her to know that when you don't explain things precisely and say client is mad and then leave for the weekend, it really affects other people. So she complained to my boss. Lessons learned - #1 Email sucks, #2 Should have called my manager to get out of the situation to begin with, #3 Channel all issues thorugh my manager even if it doesn't seem like things ever get better.

Supposedly this issue in #2 was escalated the next week and the manager above her decided that nothing was actually wrong. I got dinged over a total garbage issue.

Apparently, I have to be a total kiss-a$$ that men don't have to be. I have a hard time believing that anything I've said face to face or in an email is worse than my co-workers (all men). It only seems to be women who are doing the complaining. I talked to my co-worker about all this and he was just flabbergasted.

[jagphoto]

Suzy, it has been a long while since I have had to deal with things like that, but it's like yesterday! I am sorry that you have had a few bad days at work. I know it sucks!!

[adirty1]

what women complaining. NO.
I work with probably 40 plus women and they are so much worse than men. I just dont understand it. the women will bring up an issue from 6 months back and use that to nail you for something right now that is nothing.

But your right and I found this on the hard way. go to who ever is in charge of you or your group dont email but, call or better yet do a face to face and explain what happened before they get a chance to read the email from the person winning. Normally I email right after the event and stop by the next morning this way I am sure I get my side in before the one winning.

It was so much easier to work with guys. a problem came up it was screw you or @#$ and that was the end. Now it's all gossip and whispers and pulling the knife out at 6 months later.

I feel your pain.

a_

[suzyjazz]

Thanks for "feeling my pain" with me!

I admit, my memory for people doing things wrong, like long-standing incompetence (that multiple people have observed, not just my opinion), lying, and being a major pain in the rear, is long. But it takes something pretty big for me to complain to someone's manager. That's something I take very seriously. Obviously, other people don't. I guess I have to rise above it. As the studies say, women who are calm and never say anything bad,no matter how justified, are the ones who get ahead! It's just hard for me because I'm much more realistic, and I'm not chatty Mary Sunshine. But I'm not a bad person and I know what I'm doing and I help people!

[Patti Edens]

Originally Posted by suzyjazz

...

Apparently, I have to be a total kiss-a$$ that men don't have to be.

Yep, and the sooner you start, the better off you'll be. Sucks, but it's that way it is in good old corporate USA. As much as companies like to brag about diversity, we are still in the dark ages and we will be for a long time as far as I can tell.

My company has chosen to lock down our computers so that we cannot add software or make hardly any changes. So, as a result, they hardly ever work.

I had to do a presentation for the brass, two very high up men and my boss (also male), so I took my personal laptop in as a backup.

Just as I thought, the company issued piece of garbage locked up halfway through so I had to move over to my personal laptop which was already all set up and ready to go. I didn't miss a beat as far as the presentation goes.

When it was all over and my boss and the others were chatting, I was clearing away all the equipment and I slammed down the top on the company laptop and said something like..."sorry piece of crap."

You could'a heard a pin drop. If one of the others in my group (all guys) would have said it, they would have all laughed and commiserated with him. But, all I got was shocked looks, tsks and later my boss told me that I needed to do something to control my temper.

Geeez. Double standard is still alive and kicking.

I get it now. All sweetness and sunshine from me. Whether I like it or not.

I'm also quite sure that there are situations that benefit women and hurt men, so I just suck it up and play the dang game.

[CaptainTom]

Been this way for eons.
I have one friend who at the beginning of her presentation to a bunch of staid men, will pop the F bomb. It loosens things up I guess.

Guys are generally very direct. They tell you what they are thinking, and let you know how they feel about you.

Women beat around the bush, and hold grudges forever.

I won't even get into the hormone thing.

[suzyjazz]

Originally Posted by CaptainTom

Women beat around the bush, and hold grudges forever.

While many may agree with this generalization, men hold grudges too. I once worked with a man who told the resources manager never to assign him to a particular person's projects (and it worked for a long time). How's that for a grudge?

I don't have hormone issues, but I admit it's difficult not to hold a grudge when someone has complained to my boss over something lame. If I work with someone often enough, though, I get over it. In this job I will just have to rise above it.

[suzyjazz]

Patti, wow that is a great er I mean a powerful story. It's a very good example of the double standard.

Originally Posted by Patti Edens

I get it now. All sweetness and sunshine from me. Whether I like it or not.

Looks like I have to do this now, too....

[adirty1]

Hormones. say it aint so.
I work with about 30 women all in cubes going through the change. I work in the server room a nice 65 degrees. I walk around the corner and start peeling of sweaters or of sweatshirts. I You walk back down the hall way and it's the arctic again. I am surprised it's not snowing up there in the hallways.

I have disagree. I read in business 2.0 that women are now making more than men in most Corp jobs. I know it's easier for a women to get a job than a man these days. you can BS if you want but my wife will back it up. If your a women with a masters your going to get a job way before a guy with a masters.

here if you bitch you get the promo if you just do your gig and do it well you will stay in that one spot. only way to move up is out. good thing I don't grow roots. but how many other jobs can you sneak in 45 mins late zone out for 50 mins and then watch movies or work on your other business. I run my photography business from my office. It's great. I have voice mail, forwarded cell phone from my office. I never miss a client or some one from work. I get paid twice to do PS work. I can take off pretty much at will and do for clients. Maybe I might grow roots.

only thing is you have to put up with the people that want to get ahead. I cant stand it. I am one of 4 or 6 people that have a degree., I can only think of 2 people in management that have degrees and no one has a business degree. If I ran my business like they do I wouldnt be around for a week. Education work. That's an oxymoron if I every heard one.

[AndrewCCM]

Isn't politics banned on this forum? Men vs. Women workplace arguments seem to fit that description.. As does the message title.

I work in a technical corporate environment and have lots to say on many matters.. but I try and obey the rules here. Of course, "Trying" doesn't always work for me. LOL

[suzyjazz]

Originally Posted by AndrewCCM

Isn't politics banned on this forum?

Oh, you're right, I didn't think of it from that angle. Please send a PM to some of the moderators if you feel it's not appropriate -- I promise I won't hold a grudge! Haha, but seriously, you have a point -- didn't think of it like that.

[AndrewCCM]

Gosh no.. I am one to talk... I have been censored on occasion, so I ain't throwing sticks.. I started to comment on the thread, and then took 2 sec. to think prior.. (not something I do often enough).

[suzyjazz]

It's fine, if this really does bother anyone they should report it. I've no problem with that. I wanted to vent and got away with it long enough - mission accomplished!

[Patti Edens]

Originally Posted by AndrewCCM

Isn't politics banned on this forum? Men vs. Women workplace arguments seem to fit that description.. As does the message title.

I work in a technical corporate environment and have lots to say on many matters.. but I try and obey the rules here. Of course, "Trying" doesn't always work for me. LOL

I never thought of a workplace disagreement as being politics. I think of politics as in relation to governments, elections, etc. So, I looked it up and found the definition below.

I think that you are right and that the last definition could cover the workplace - a small society, but a society of sorts.

Oops.
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From Answers.com:

The art or science of government or governing, especially the governing of a political entity, such as a nation, and the administration and control of its internal and external affairs. Political science.

The activities or affairs engaged in by a government, politician, or political party: “All politics is local” (Thomas P. O'Neill, Jr.). “Politics have appealed to me since I was at Oxford because they are exciting morning, noon, and night” (Jeffrey Archer).

The methods or tactics involved in managing a state or government: The politics of the former regime were rejected by the new government leadership. If the politics of the conservative government now borders on the repressive, what can be expected when the economy falters?

Political life: studied law with a view to going into politics; felt that politics was a worthwhile career.

Intrigue or maneuvering within a political unit or group in order to gain control or power: Partisan politics is often an obstruction to good government. Office politics are often debilitating and counterproductive.

Political attitudes and positions: His politics on that issue is his own business. Your politics are clearly more liberal than mine.

The often internally conflicting interrelationships among people in a society.

[suzyjazz]

Hehe, that last line certainly applies in my case!

Oh well, the good news is my manager still likes me and her manager still likes me and since "this" has been brought to my attention, I can avoid "annoying" more people in the future. Especially more important ones.

Working the graveyard shift next week to appease another client of ours should get me some points.