ladies don't hate me

[mcphotography]

saw this on another forum and had to share with my TPF family ...remember i didn't write it, only repeating what i heard ...

She says * She Means
--------- -------
We need -*- I want
It's your decision -*- The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want -*- You'll pay for this later
We need to talk -*- I need to complain
Sure...go ahead -*- I don't want you to.
I'm not upset -*- Of course I'm upset, you moron.
You're...so manly -*- You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight.-*- Is sex all you ever think about?
I'm not emotional! And I'm not over reacting! -*- I have PMS.
Be romantic, turn out the lights. -*- I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient. -*- I want a new house.
I want new curtains -*- and carpeting, furniture, wallpaper...
Hang the picture there -*- No, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise -*- I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? -*- I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me?-*- I did something today you're really not going to like...
I'll be ready in a minute. -*- Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
Is my butt fat? -*- Tell me I'm beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate. -*- Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? -*- [Too late, your dead.]
Yes -*- No
No -*- No
Maybe -*- No
I'm sorry. -*- You'll be sorry.
Do you like this recipe? -*- It's easy to fix, so you'd better get get used to it.
I'm not yelling! -*- Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

In answer to the question..."What's wrong?"...

The same old thing. -*- Nothing.
Nothing. -*- Everything.
Everything. -*- My PMS is acting up.
Nothing, really. -*- It's just that you're such a <>?-#^&@.
I don't want to talk about it. -*- Go away, I'm still building up evidence against you.

[TheObiJuan]

Hahaha! Many of these are so true in my relationship!

[Murph]

All True.

[my3peas]

All true for me :) I admit it :)

[carrbowl]

Reminds me of this:



Words Women Use



1. FINE: This is the word a woman uses to end an argument when she is right and you need to shut up.

2. FIVE MINUTES: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. NOTHING: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine."

4. GO AHEAD: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. LOUD SIGH: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of "nothing.")

6. THAT'S OKAY: This is one of the most dangerous statements women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. THANKS: A woman is thanking you: do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome.

8. WHATEVER: Is a women's way of saying “Take a Hike”


9. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, I GOT IT: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man's asking "what's wrong." For the woman's response refer to

[HeatherLou]

Yep. I have done ever single one of those things to my pooooorrrr pooooorrrrr hubby :) But he must love it, hes still here.

[carrbowl]

So here's one to make you men laugh...which ALL of us know is true!!

How to Make a Woman Happy

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself

52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself

53. give her lot s of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:
***** birthdays**** ( like my husband)
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes





HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked
2. Bring beer

[kronos2818]

Carrbol,
I agree 98% with your list, you are only missing one little thing. On the "HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY' Number one should say

1.Show up with a female friend both naked.
2. Bring beer.

WWWOOOOHHOOO!!!!!! ;)

[dsjsws]

Too funny...

Since all men need is naked women and beer, can I have all your camera gear?

D

[ndsimm]

Originally Posted by dsjsws

Too funny...

Since all men need is naked women and beer, can I have all your camera gear?

D

ok, so let's change it.....

1.Show up with a female friend both naked.
2. Bring beer.
3. set up camera on tripod with self timer

[kronos2818]

Originally Posted by dsjsws

Too funny...

Since all men need is naked women and beer, can I have all your camera gear?

D

Only if you are female and offering to show up naked with another female friend with beer...

[kronos2818]

Originally Posted by kronos2818

Only if you are female and offering to show up naked with another female friend with beer...

Ok I am sorry bad, bad, photographer...

[mcphotography]

lol....this thread is full of words of wisdom, pearls to live by, and the naked truths of life

[zach-e2]

thanks for the tips.. i'll keep them in mind..
who knows, if i can actually woo someone, they might come in handy!

[jagphoto]

I will agree with all of the statements above. I have definitely said and done all or most of these things.