Me, Pika and the Amazing Advertising Aardvark ...

[Digital Prophet]

So there I was sitting and minding my own business. And though it may be hard to believe I was being quite innocent at that very moment. You see I have been thinking about my oh so neglected photography "business" as of late. And how I really need to pay some attention to getting it up and running. So there I was, surfing the net and thinking while I looked at inspiring photos at my desk.

Now, in case you didn't know it, my desk is massive. It is actually a drafting table and is 32 square feet! Everything's bigger in Texas baby! Everything .... But I am getting ahead of myself. So there I am and in comes Pika, eating yogurt. "Hey, those are my damn yogurts!"

He looks at the spoon of yogurty goodness that he has just extracted from the yogurt containment vessel and ponders it. Then examines it's sheen in the light. Then he sniffs it. "Hmmm ...." The he pops it in your greedy little mouth! "Yup, tastes just like my yogurt. Too bad!" That little bastard! "So what are you doing besides planning to go buy more yogurt?"

"Looking at photos ..."

"Oh! Porn I am so there." And with that he tosses MY empty yogurt container aside and clambers up the desk leg. "Hey! She looks good. Get to the boob shots!"

"There are no 'boob' shots your little twit. This isn't porn, it's regular photography." I can't believe that character. As if all I do is sit around and look at porn. I do stuff. Really I do!

"Pft. Please. I see pics. I see chics. I assume I'll see ..."

"Alright you can stop the poetry. These aren't porn pics. They are just some photos I like that I was looking at for inspiration."

"Whatever, tell yourself what you got to so's you can sleep at night. Art photos are just porn without the money shot." And with that he whips out another yogurt and begins to open it.

"Ok, first of all, I don't want to know where you had that yogurt. Second of all not all photos of women are porn. God you are such a little sexist! I was just looking at some work by other photographers b/c I want to get things rolling again with the business."

"So we are back in business? Sweet! I'll call Tito and Octavio and see who has contracts ..."

"Not that business you little hoodlum. The photography business."

"Ooooohhh. Huh? What's to think about. Just grab the camera and go shoot some stuff. And pick up some more yogurt while you’re out."

You know, Pika logic is perplexing to say the least. But when he is actually at eye level it is downright upsetting. Eye level eat MY yogurt I might add. "It's not quite that simple 'O King of Idiots. I got to think this out. I need to redo my portfolio. I want to find some models to practice with and then one or two good ones for the portfolio. I need to get the name out."

"Heh heh. I got'cha: 'practice'." Pika likes his yogurt with sprinkles of evil.

"I was being serious. Can you be serious for a moment?"

"I don't really know, my tummy is kind of chilly from all that yogurt. But ok. Sounds like you need some marketing help."

"Well duh." It's true. I am horrid when it comes to marketing me. I am shy so self promotion is impossible. I am forever hesitant to charge people. Let's face it; I'm a lover not a businessman. "This is complex stuff man. There are budgets. And styles. And ..."

But of course far be it from Pika to let my speaking deter him from interrupting. "So, hire an aardvark."

".... Ok did you just say 'hire an aardvark'?"

"Well 'duh'. Get an aardvark. They are clearly God's marketing animal." I don't really know if there was more to that sentence or not. Because as soon as Pika's little plastic spoon started clanking around the bottom of MY yogurt container he was focused on getting every bit of that creamy dairy delight out. "Damn .... narrow ... yogurt container ..."

"What the hell are you muttering about now?!?! How on earth can an aardvark help me?!"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Like I said, hire an aardvark." He says it like it makes all the sense in the world as he tosses MY empty yogurt container off the desk. "I mean aardvarks know advertising."

Ok, yet again this is the junction. The point in my life where I ought to just let it go. But no. I have to ask. "How do you figure that aardvarks are somehow apt marketers?"

"Lord, do I have to do all the work around here? 'Aardvark'. Two a's. They have two a's! That is product placement! I mean, it's just part of their nature. They are good at this Dude I need more yogurt." And with that, he clambered down the desk leg leaving me wondering just how the hell any of that made any sense to anyone that was suffering from yogurt poisoning.

"You're a retard."

"Pft. Whatever." And he doesn't even look at me. "All I am saying is that 'aardvark' is on the first page of every dictionary in the world. Where is 'digitographer'?" And then he was gone.

To get more of MY yogurt.

Prophet out.

[CFord]

Love it. It's definitely good to see you posting these again.

[mjdmike]

Pika's got a point.

Keep feeding the little thing yogurt, so he'll keep us entertained. Good stuff Curt.

[riteflyt]

Curt!!! Awesome to have ya back, that little fuzzy bastard I still dont trust!!

[Dobick]

So besides the front of the dictionary -- where do you go to hire an aardvark?????

I need help in marketing as well, so a little guidance might do wonders for both of our businesses?

[rphoto]

I might learn something from Pika in this post