I was kicked out of

[Howard Barlow]

The Ritz Hotel in London. My wife, another lady, and I were in a taxi in London. We asked about the dress code for having (forgive me, the ladies wanted this, I just wanted a Coke and potato chips) High Tea, at The Ritz.

"Oh, you are fine, they just want the money," said the driver, as he looked at us. We were all wearing jeans, pull-over shirts, and tennis shoes. So, he dropped us off.

As we entered the hotel lobby, an insipid little sniveler of a man rushed up to us, in a blocking move. "May I help you?" he asked, as he had to raise his tiny little head, so he could look down his pointy little nose.

"Yes," said the lady, "we would like to join you for High Tea."

"I'm sorry, Ma'dam," he said, in his condescending, poorly pronounced English, "but it will not be possible for you to join us, today. It seems Sir," he continues, as he gives me his best shot at an evil, though beady, eye, from behind his raised pointy nose, "has chosen to wear bluejeans, today. And, Sir has chosen to not wear a tie, today. And, Sir has chosen to wear tennis shoes, today. So, you see, it will not be possible for you to join us, today. Perhaps another time." With that, his short little wretched arm is directing us to the same door we had entered through only moments ago.

I do have to say one good this about this British "gentleman", he never addressed the fact the ladies were dressed as I was, he chose to use me as his bad example of public appearance.

So, as we turned to leave, with him half a step behind, the lady is saying how we understnad, and would be dressed appropriately, next time. However, I had another thought.

As we approached the door, I was looking around the lobby, taking in all its grandeur, telling the insipid little sniveler of a man, in my best Texas prose, "That's awright, Jack, I've been thrown outta better... I've been throw... No... no, this is the finest place I've ever been thrown out of."

So there. I've been thrown out of the Ritz by a definitive girlie man. Can ya beat that one?

[Wes]

The English are as warm as their weather this time of year.

[DeLeon]

Originally Posted by Howard Barlow

.... in my best Texas prose, "That's awright, Jack, I've been thrown outta better... I've been throw... No... no, this is the finest place I've ever been thrown out of."

So there. I've been thrown out of the Ritz by a definitive girlie man. Can ya beat that one?

Man I wish I could think of things like this on the spot. Good one!

[darktiger]

Really, wonder if he would say the same thing when I am in my flip flops and shorts....

[lhdvies]

That is too funny(& true)LOL.
"Definitive Girlie Man" Sort of like a Pekinese pup chasing intruders from "his territory".
Your response was priceless!!

[Mike G]

Great comeback .. but the real problem was the taxi driver not knowing what he was talking about.

The Ritz London has a formal dress code in its public areas. Gentlemen are requested to wear a jacket and tie when using The Palm Court, Rivoli Bar or The Ritz Restaurant. Jeans and/or training shoes are not permitted in these areas.

The Ritz is famous for their Afternoon Tea, not High Tea.

Afternoon tea

Afternoon tea is a light meal typically eaten at 4 o'clock. It originated in the United Kingdom, though various places that used to be part of the former British Empire also have such a meal. However, changes in social customs and working hours mean that most Britons only take afternoon tea on special/formal occasions.

Traditionally, loose tea would be served in a teapot with milk and sugar. This would be accompanied by various sandwiches (customarily cucumber, egg and cress, fish paste (bloater), ham, and smoked salmon), scones (with butter, clotted cream and jam — see cream tea) and usually cakes and pastries (such as Battenberg, fruit cake or Victoria sponge). The food would be often served in a tiered stand.

While afternoon tea used to be an everyday event, nowadays it is more likely to be taken as a treat in a hotel, café, or tea shop, although many Britons still have a cup of tea and slice of cake or chocolate at teatime. Accordingly, many hotels now market a champagne cream tea.

High tea

High Tea (also known as Meat Tea[1]) is an early evening meal, typically eaten between 5 and 6 o'clock in the evening. It would be eaten as a substitute for both afternoon tea and the evening meal. The term comes from the meal being eaten at the ‘high’ (main) table, instead of the smaller lounge table. It is now largely replaced by a later evening meal.

It would usually consist of cold meats, eggs and/or fish, cakes and sandwiches. In a family, it tends to be less formal and is an informal snack (featuring sandwiches, biscuits, pastry, fruit and the like) or else it is the main evening meal.

On farms or other working class environments, high tea would be the traditional, substantial meal eaten by the workers immediately after nightfall, and would combine afternoon tea with the main evening meal.

In recent years, High Tea has become a word for exquisite afternoon tea. However, this usage is incorrect and should be discouraged for reasons given below.

High Tea served in a sitting room is then called Low Tea. Confused yet?

[Tim-in-TX]

You should have mentioned how we (the US) saved them from having to learn German! You can be snooty too!

[Crashoran]

He was probably just doing his job..

[photosbysergio]

Wasn't Oprah asked to leave a department store last summer as well? You are in great company!

[Breezy]

hahaha this is funny.
Thanks for the laugh

[Night Owl]

Yet another argument for Hawai'i, where the typical Hawaiian shirt is acceptable anywhere.

[ratbert]

About 25 years ago I was Framingham, MA staying at the Sheraton Tara. They had an upscale restaurant in the hotel called the "Upper Crust". We all decided to go eat dinner there, but I was denied a table because they had a dress code of no jeans. I had on a pair of light colored denim slacks that was part of a western style denim suit with a matching denim jacket and a blue button down oxford shirt. I told therm that tecnically I did not have on jeans but was still denied a table. So, I went to my room, put on a tie and my jacket and went back down and was promptly seated with no questions asked.

[MattMoore]

You forgot to remind him how, "we saved their ass in dubya' dubya' two."

Their not all like that, the RAF (Royal Air Force) blokes I served with in Kuwait were really REALLY cool.

[kenw]

The ultimate insult for an Englishman is to be compared unfavorably to a Frenchman.

So, something like...."wow, you act like a Frenchman....." would have been suitable.

Of course, the exact same would work in reverse should you find yourself across the channel.....

[Abel]

i would have booked a room there and then made my way to the tea room... tennis shoes and all.