Stolen from another forum

[srwatters]

Yesterday I was at Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for the dog. While in the check-out line, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse to this silly question, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, but that I was starting the Purina Diet again.

I told her I probably shouldn't, because even though I'd lost 50 pounds before, I had awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I said that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified , she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's behind when a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore!!

Just kidding...

[HeatherLou]

Hehehehehehehe, I *almost* believed you, till you said Wal Mart wont let you shop there anymore :)

[David_3]

Haha....if you had changed it to Cat Chow, I would have believed it.

[Cope]

Originally Posted by srwatters

Yesterday I was at Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for the dog. While in the check-out line, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse to this silly question, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, but that I was starting the Purina Diet again.

I told her I probably shouldn't, because even though I'd lost 50 pounds before, I had awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I said that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified , she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's behind when a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore!!

Just kidding...

I know where you've been lurking!

[Cope]

Since everyone is sharing advice on marriage and divorce I decided I may as well share my experience from a while back . In New Zealand we are trying to cut back on usage of plastic bags so people are advised to only use them when really necessary which sometimes invokes THE question at the shopping counter :
Well I had just purchased some spares for my van and it came my turn to pay for the goods . The guy behind the counter said " Do you want a bag with that ?"
I said to him " No thanks , I've been married once before " . He just smiled but I heard the woman behind me saying ''Did you hear what he just said !" , her partner laughed a bit then she said in an angry voice "You had better not say anything like that about me !" .
At that point I turned around and said "No , he's going to say "No thanks , I've already got one !" " .
He started laughing even louder and she got angrier .
I was busy fitting the spares to my van in the parking lot and they came walking out , her talking excitedly with a red face and him just shaking his head and smiling at the ground .... [ it seems to prove my second answer was right ]

[rschramm]

ohmygod that is funny....

[Breezy]

hahah yall are funny

[onewingedangel73106]

just what I needed for a laugh to make me feel better about moping around the house doing nothing since I have a migraine yet again for the second day.

[J Eddington]

Originally Posted by onewingedangel73106

just what I needed for a laugh to make me feel better about moping around the house doing nothing since I have a migraine yet again for the second day.

Ok Crystal. Do what a friend does. Takes photos of his pain. He says it is a great distraction and he gets some really great photos. I can feel his pain 900 miles away. It is a different look a life that we are accustom to. Try it, you might like it.

[carrbowl]

thanks....do I ever need some humor!!!!!! Is Christmas over yet???? Are people done wanting their photos before Christmas????

[carrbowl]

someone help me !!!!!!1 Ihad to explain it to my daughter!!!!!!!!!! And she doesn't even have blonde hair!!!!!!

[zepp]

http://www.texasphotoforum.com/forum...ad.php?t=27890