A warning to all the gamers.....

[OTRphoto]

Yahoo article....

Wedding Woes: The Dark Side of Warcraft
Popular online PC game is causing marital discord.

[Arnor]

Hi Mel,

Addiction to computer games is no better than addiction to drugs. My stepson - who was 14 when I married his mom - got seriously addicted to StarCraft, which is also from Blizzard Entertainment. To a point that he didn't do his homework, was very absent minded and started failing classes. He started living in and for those games and his life revolved around them. He's now 23, dropped out of college, had a kid with his friend's ex-girlfriend, whom he doesn't want to have anything to do with, but does pay child support and has no clue what he wants to do with his life. He's very bright, but just can't seem to wrap his head around real life. I think the computer games were extremely bad for him at a very vulnerable time in his life. Reading that article brought back memories of my step-son playing all through the night and sometimes (after he moved out and went to college) I know he played for two days stright on weekends. Makes me sad.

Best regards,

[iinastynateii]

I do play, but not to that degree of addiction. I understand completely how it can become addictive. I really enjoy the game, and I really enjoy playing it with my friends, but when it becomes that severe, it couldn't possibly be fun anymore.

These stories of WoW are nothing new. I've read articles - sometimes seen on TV, as well - and that included suicides, to divorces, to quitting jobs over WoW (there's even clinics for gaming addiction in some countries, even laws on how long you can play, etc.). Some people just take the game to a different level; it sort of gives a false sense of accomplishment and they just feed on that.

[CincoJoe]

wow is a cool game but come on people! its a game.

[Goaliesgirl]

I can understand this totally. I have been with my husband 10 years and some of our biggest. loudest, ugliest fights have been about his gaming. Not money, not how to raise the kids, not him flirting with the waitress, but about Everquest originally and then WoW. It never helped that I don't like playing video games at all. So I never "understood" the attraction. We have it worked out now and he has it under control. But I could tell you some stories about the struggle to get to this point.

[alamoshutterbug]

I have watched several of my friends squander some of the best years of their lives on gaming. I have seen sedentary weight gain, humps develop on backs and friendships come under stress due to this sort of addiction. It is really sad to see people give up real experience for gaming, but for them the game is the experience they are after. I have one friend in particular that is a heavy gamer, heavy smoker, and eats little more than fast food; his days are spent playing games, watching TV and blowing his trust fund. It pains me to watch this happen despite any comments I can make to persuade him to do otherwise. He is shortening his life and wasting it at the same time, imho. When he actually gets out and does something productive, I applaud him as much as I can and tell him that activity is very good for him. I am very pleased that in the course of my liberal arts education, I figured out what life is for: experience and happiness. I do whatever is necessary to be happy and experience as much as possible before I'm called to the netherworld.

[epoh]

Instead of complaining she could have logged on and played with him!

My hubby and I have been playing wow together for over two years now. We have fun together. We also play with several of our 'real life' friends and co-workers. I think the only time there is discord surrounding wow is when he gets selected for a Kara run and I don't. LoL.

I suppose I should add that neither of us are addicted to it, like some apparently become. We still go to work, play outside with our kids and go have fun away from the computer.

[RightAngle]

Me and my girlfriend play Call of Duty 4 all the time together, dang I'm one lucky man

[OTRphoto]

Well this struck a MAJOR chord with me... This was my reply to the editor...

I saw the headline for your feature article "Wedding Woes: The Dark Side of Warcraft" and my jaw dropped and hit the floor!

I had been living with an ex boyfriend for 6 years and we had dated for a year before I had moved in. So we were together for a total of 7 years. During year 3 I decided to go back to school at night (after work) to complete my Bachelor of Science in Computer Science. For the next 2 years I admit that I wasn't home a lot. I worked 8-5 and had classes 2 to 4 nights a week.

So when my bf started online gaming (and yes he started out on WOW) at night I wasn't really too worried. He mostly used it to chat and play the game alongside his younger brother who lived several states away. He wasn't out at bars, he wasn't getting drunk..so why should I worry? He's keeping himself happily occupied while I'm busy and bonding with family. What could be bad about that, right?

So in the middle of year 6 I had finished my degree, had a great job and was home every evening after work. Only problem is that by then he had become so obsessed and engrossed into his virtual world, that he had forgotten how to function in the real world.

I can sympathize with Jocelyn almost completely in her situation. I couldn't get mine out from behind the computer to even just sit on the couch and watch a TV show or movie with me. I'd say let's go out to eat, and he'd toss me his wallet and say have fun and bring me back something! He stopped going out with friends and wouldn't go to any family gatherings anymore. His whole life revolved around and existed in EQ.

Somewhere in all of this time he switched from WOW to EverQuest (aka EverCrack). He would get off work at 3:30p get home do whatever he needed to do around the house (I'll give him that much) like mow the lawn, fix the sink, etc.. But by 5 every work night until about 1030 he was on EQ. On weekends he would be online by 10am and stay on until 2-3am without getting away from the PC except to grab something to take to the desk to eat or use the restroom.

I eventually got so fed up with him totally ignoring me that I moved out. I knew there was no hope when I left out of town one weekend just telling him I was headed out to a friends house. I was gone 5 days and the only call I got from him was one call on day 3 saying that if I happened to make it back that day, could I stop and pick up some cat food! To this day he has never even asked where I went. I was at Mardi Gras by the way >;o)

On the day I moved out he didn't even get up from his computer to ask what was going on. He was so absorbed in his EQ world than me and this world didn't matter anymore. I finally came to realize that it was a matter of fact that I just couldn't compete. In the game he had reached such a high level that others would seek him out for his assistance. THEY needed him, THEY adored him, THEY revered him.. On EQ he was a GOD... How could I compete when all I could offer was my love?

A week after I moved out he called me and was a mess. He offered to marry me, to give up the gaming, give up the computer, realized how much he was giving away... but it had been too long and it was a few months too late. It's been almost 4 years since that and about 3 1/2 since we last spoke.

He's not a bad guy and I told him so. But he just turned into the guy that wasn't for me.

And my criteria for all guys since then has been NO GAMERS!

[Citex]

Been gaming since the pong console myself, only play console games now and know how addicting (Halo 1-3, COD4,Star Wars Knight of The Old Republic) it is but I never had it that bad. Good thing I have other hobbies like photography, cars etc..

[Shane]

It is like anything else . . . MODERATION!

[bands321]

This is why I play WoW WITH my husband :) We have several characters on different servers and love it. We do have kids and only play when they are either asleep or at grandma's

We did both get really hooked on EQ and then EQII (he preferes those games to WoW...says WoW is "cheesy") but I like Wow, so he plays with me.

[okcwannabe]

WoW...is all I have to say

[Jezebel]

No non-gamer girl should ever get into a relationship with a gamer guy, haha... they'll never understand the attraction and always get frustrated. Of course, even I would be frustrated if my boyfriend were hardcore addicted to any game. We both play WoW together but I think we play a healthy amount. I've had people tell me that I'm "addicted" to WoW, but that's only because they're not gamers. Most of my girlfriends hate games in any form and are quick to criticize playing them. I'm quite sure that if the time spent playing these games was replaced with another activity, that they wouldn't get so irritated by it. The difficult part is being in the same room as someone while they consider themselves to be "occupied" I think. That's what makes it so easy to get angry at someone when they play - because they're right there in front of you and not paying attention to you. *shrug* That's what I figure anyway... I don't really know because I think video games are awesome, haha.

[Duffy Pratt]

The best thing for me about the article was how upset she was that the guy preferred a game to TV. I know she was trying just to draw him away with something small and innocuous. But one of the reasons the games are so appealing is because the rest of life is so small and innocuous. If you want to get someone away from gaming, try hooking them on something bigger and better. If you can't think of anything bigger and better, then don't complain -- because in that case the problem isn't the game, it's you.

Duffy