Was Cabeza de Vaca the biggest badass in history?

[Moses on the Street]

I read "Gone to Texas," Randolph Campbell's fine history of the Lone Star State, and I was pondering whether or not Cabeza de Vaca (CDV) is, in fact, the biggest badass in history.

I have come to the conclusion that he is.

Oh, sure, you may have some decent arguments for other men (Vince Young, Patton, Wilt Chamberlain etc...), but consider the case for Cabeza de Vaca:


1) In June 1527, at the age of 40, CDV left Spain for the Caribbean as second-in-command of a group of five ships with six hundred sailors. His captain was a man named Narvaez.

2) They overwintered 1527-1528 in the Caribbean. They suffered a devastating hurricane on Cuba followed by the desertion of 140 men on Hispaniola.

3) After refitting following the hurricane, in April, 1528 five ships and 400 men sailed from Cuba to the western coast of Florida, landing near what is now Tampa.

4) Narvaez then decided to send 300 men, himself and Cabeza de Vaca among them, inland to find gold and a site for settlement. The ships were to go ahead and meet them at another point on the coast. Big time screwup. The ships got hopelessly separated from the men inland.

5) The inland men reached Northwestern Florida in mid-June and camped for three months, facing food shortages and unfriendly Indians.

6) They returned to the Florida coast and now, driven by desperation, they built five boats of rough-sawn timber caulked with pine resin, made sails from their own clothes, and slaughtered their horses, whose hides covered the boats and hair made rigging for the sails.

7) Leaving Florida in September 1528, five boats and 250 men attempted to sail along the Gulf Coast west to Mexico. Things were okay for awhile but then storms separated the five boats (of course) and two of them were swept up onto a small island just west of Galveston Island (most likely, that is ... this is not known for sure). One of these two boats had CDV on it.

8) They were soon found by Karankawas who turned out to be friendly and who gave them food and water. By this time, all of the men were very nearly dead. But CDV and his men got healthy and decided to launch the boat again. It capsized and three men drown. The survivors washed up on the beach as naked as the day they were born and presented such a pitiful sight that the Karankawas cried with them for half an hour.

9) The two groups of survivors found each other on the island and chose the four strongest men to walk westward along the coast to Mexico to send help. Of course, none ever came.

10) CDV survived the winter of 1528-1529 but in the spring he went onto the Texas mainland and became so sick that, believing him to be very near death, all but two of his companions left him to travel west down the coast towards Mexico.

11) After they left, amazingly, CDV recovered. He spent the next four years with his two Spanish companions, using the island as his home base.

12) During these four years, he was a merchant, a doctor, and a slave. The Karankawas demanded that he treat their sick. For almost a year he was forced to live with other Indians who treated him like a slave. Later, he escaped and lived the life of a trader, trading coastal products like shells and snails for hides, red ocher, flint etc...


13) In late 1532 one of his Spanish companions died. He convinced the other that they needed to walk to Mexico. Traveling westward, they met some Indians who told them of a group of three other men like them who were being held as slaves by another tribe. To show what was happening to the men, the Indians slapped and beat CDV and his companion. This frightened his companion so badly that he returned to the Galveston area and disappeared forever.

14) So now CDV was on his own. A few days later, he found the three other men: Maldonado, Carranza, and Estevancio. These four men would continue their adventure for another four years.


15) They were then captured and made slaves by the Coahuiltecan Indians. They immediately planned an escape but were unable to do it for about two years.

16) Finally, in September 1534, they did escape and head South. Nobody knows exactly where they went, but it appears that they walked about 2000 miles or so. They probably walked through South Texas to Monterray, Mexico, then to the Northwest back into Texas across the Rio Grande south of El Paso near Presidio, and finally West across the Rio Grande to the outpost of Culiacan near the Pacific Ocean.

17) They reached Culican early in 1536, 8.5 years after CDV had left Spain and having walked two thousand miles in less than two years.

18) He reached Mexico City in July, 1536 and sailed back to Spain.

18) In 1542, CDV published a book about his adventures that describes the indians, the Trans-Pecos, bison (first European to see one) etc....



So, anyway, I was reading all of this and I was contemplating our lives today and how cushy we have it these days and how we have to have all of this gear and specialized crap to get out into nature and that even then we are scared to really rough it and, basically, what a big bunch of weenies we've all become.


Can you imagine how CDV must have felt after his boat capsized and he washed up onto the beach for the second time? He was thousands of miles from home, in a place he had no knowledge of, without clothing, it was early November and getting cold, he had no ship to get back on, he had no knowledge, other than a very vague sense of which direction to walk, of where to go to get out of his predicament. He was 40 years old and had no actionable linguistic skills. He could either live or die.

Don't you guys think that most modern people would be suicidal in such a scenario?

[brad]

He may have been, but I still can't take someone named "Cow Head" seriously. LOL

[Truckman]

Originally Posted by brad

He may have been, but I still can't take someone named "Cow Head" seriously. LOL

He was better off than his younger brother, Nalgas de Vaca......Ben

[Howard Barlow]

Yeah, well, he wasn't so tough.

One day, I was driving across town and ran out of gas. I got my gas can and started walking. The Texaco station was about 7-8 blocks away, uphill. Nobody would stop to give me a lift.

I had enough cash to fill the can, but nothing left over for a cold Coke. After I filled the can and was on the way back, uphill, I stubbed my toe. As I fell, I dropped the gas can. Fortunately, it held tight, but I skinned my knee, and bruised my elbow. After a brief period of recovery, I got up and moved on. I was determined to not let the gruelling ordeal defeat me.

Finally, I got back to my truck. I'm guessing this took, oh, maybe an hour. I was tired, sore, sweatty, not to mention even thirstier.

About the time I finished pouring the gas in, an Indian drove up and asked if I needed help. I told him no, I had things under control. He bid me farewell, and drove away.

I think such hardships, unpleasant though they may be, just serve to make me stronger.

[BubbaGoose]

CDV was indeed a BadAss.

Matter of fact
I would even put him in the BadAssMoFo category.

[Toad]

I don't know... My ancestor Sir Francis Drake might have him beat... if for nothing else that this;
"Though considered a hero in England in his own time and regarded as a significant historical figure; Spanish history perceives him as a mere pirate who mercilessly plundered Spanish New World shipping and harbours. Drake, "el Draque", as he was referred to by the Spanish, was used as a bogeyman for centuries after his "vicious" raids."
I think "badass" is spelled "b-o-g-e-y-m-a-n".

Also;
"prior to the battle [of Gravelines], he[Drake] was playing a game of bowls on Plymouth Hoe. On being warned of the approach of the Spanish fleet, Drake is said to have remarked that there was plenty of time to finish the game and still beat the Spaniards."

But then again, I guess I could just be prejudiced since as I said he is my ancestor.

[darktiger]

I think Vlad the Impaler was a bigger badass...

[Moses on the Street]

Cabeza de Vaca, out of desperation, ate the carcasses of too-long-dead animals in order to survive. He was such a badass that, in his book, he dismisses this by saying that they were "none too pleased about it."

[PhotoByLeal]

Originally Posted by Truckman

He was better off than his younger brother, Nalgas de Vaca......Ben

NOW THAT'S FUNNY!!!!!!!!

He said Nalgas!!!!!!!!
I needed a good !!!

Later..........

[Truckman]

Originally Posted by PhotoByLeal

NOW THAT'S FUNNY!!!!!!!!

He said Nalgas!!!!!!!!
I needed a good !!!

Later..........

I figured somebody would get it......Ben

[Killeenguy]

I would agree with you Moses. I've never heard the complete synopsis of Cabeza De Vaca.

Thank you.

[Tim-in-TX]

Ever seen the movie? It has been a long time, but I remember it being an excellent one!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101529/

Some of the imagery is outstanding.

[Daniel W.]

Just when I thought I was done with 7th Grade Texas History:

I actually am a big fan of Voltaire, if we're going to get historical.

[Toad]

Originally Posted by darktiger

I think Vlad the Impaler was a bigger badass...

Ok... I'll give you that one. Vlad was a pretty big badass. Nothing like nailing somebody's hat to their head...
Toad

[L Stegall]

But Vince Young did engineer an amazing come from behind victory over USC to win a national championship....c'mon.....

Course, Howard's story is very impressive too....what hardships he suffered that day.

Seriously, I think Ernest Shackelton's antarctic adventures are an amazing story of survival against long odds and interesting leadership skills.