Wal-Mart Application

[Jobeye]

Subject: Fw: Wal-Mart Application






This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas..
They hired him because he was so funny.....

NAME:Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Bastard)

SEX:Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION:Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place

DESIRED SALARY:$185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz s tyle severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION:Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD:Targetfor middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY:A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:< /SPAN>Any.

PREFERRED HOURS:1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment .

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?:Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:I think the more appropriate question here would be 'Do you have a car that runs?'

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:I may already be a winner of thePublishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?:On the job - no!
On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE....7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:Oh yes, absolutely.



***Old People Rock***

[okevino]

Good stuff.

I can't wait to be old and not care about what people think.

[Michelle Allmon]

Originally Posted by okevino

Good stuff.

I can't wait to be old and not care about what people think.

I'm there now. :)

[AndrewCCM]

Funny thing..He probably fought against the supplier of all their goods at one time in his lifetime. Of course, what isn't from that area of the world these days?

[ratbert]

Funny, but not true.

http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/mcdonald.asp

[Michelle Allmon]

Oh, dude! You beat me to it. I was just about to post the link myself.

[ratbert]

Originally Posted by Michelle Allmon

Oh, dude! You beat me to it. I was just about to post the link myself.

[Michelle Allmon]

it's my fault for waiting, i thought about posting it earlier but i decided to wait and see what would happen. i'm a loser.