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[Debbi]

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[rockpics]

Sorry, Debbi. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

[JenJohnson79]

thoughts and prayers coming from this way as well. . .

[Breezy]

I am sorry Debbie.
I hope you can come to terms with what ever you decide.

[Serenity]

I don't really know you being new around here, but I am so thinkin about you. There are a lot of great people here so we are certainly here to help where we can.

[Debbi]

Thank you very much, Jill, Jennifer and Breezy. I can use all of the prayers I can get. But sometimes it's not a good idea to "force" things to work. Ultimately, it will work out as it should. I appreciate the support!

[MicWayWal]

Just a wild thought: I wonder if there is not something about these getaways that us guys can not handle?

My wife and I have had three MAJOR blowups in our marriage. Two were within one day and another was on the day, at the hotel we have planned a huge getaway for the two of us for some "special time." After the third time we got to wondering if there was something about planning such an event that I, the man could not handle. So we don't plan these type of events anymore. We do them. But completely unplanned, spur of the moment thing now.

By the way, He may not know why. I didn't. Still don't.

[Spec A!]

I don't know you either, but FWIW I can't imagine being in a relationship let alone a marriage with someone that had so little respect for me and would treat me that way. And then to add kids ontop of it? I'm so sorry, that's a horrible situation to be in. From my outside point of view based on your comments, I would leave too.
My wife and I are celebrating our 5th this year, and we have a 3yr old and an 8month old. I can't imagine ever treating my wife like that, drunk or not. That's just not right (and I'll never understand it). Best of luck to you- at least you know you have support here.

[LoungeLizard]

Have faith - things will work out for the best.

[Debbi]

Originally Posted by MicWayWal

Just a wild thought: I wonder if there is not something about these getaways that us guys can not handle?

My wife and I have had three MAJOR blowups in our marriage. Two were within one day and another was on the day, at the hotel we have planned a huge getaway for the two of us for some "special time." After the third time we got to wondering if there was something about planning such an event that I, the man could not handle. So we don't plan these type of events anymore. We do them. But completely unplanned, spur of the moment thing now.

By the way, He may not know why. I didn't. Still don't.

I do appreciate what you are saying but I don't think this is the case. He has hated this house since day one. We almost divorsed this past summer because of my spending and this house. Now that the housing market has turned south it certainly has not helped. We need $300K to walk away with mortgage, closing, etc. The best we can hope for is $290 without closing and real estate fees. You do the math. This is my fault, according to him. Of course, no one hog tied him to sign the papers, but it really doesn't matter right now. We have lots of things to work thru - even if its worth working thru

[Debbi]

Originally Posted by Spec A!

I don't know you either, but FWIW I can't imagine being in a relationship let alone a marriage with someone that had so little respect for me and would treat me that way. And then to add kids ontop of it? I'm so sorry, that's a horrible situation to be in. From my outside point of view based on your comments, I would leave too.
My wife and I are celebrating our 5th this year, and we have a 3yr old and an 8month old. I can't imagine ever treating my wife like that, drunk or not. That's just not right (and I'll never understand it). Best of luck to you- at least you know you have support here.

Anthony, I am sooo feeling what you are saying and believe, I am thinking about it a LOT. However, we do have an 11 year old who depends on us both. Which way is better - I don't know. I'm feeling, best case scenario, serious counseling, our future - and maybe that won't even help.

[Debbi]

Originally Posted by LoungeLizard

Have faith - things will work out for the best.

Thank you, Jesus!

[Truckman]

Sounds similar to what happened to me a year ago...I came home to a woman I didn't even know...we had never even had a cross word between us in nine years then she told me she didn't love me, she was leaving and wanted a divorce...I was crushed...

Over the next few months it came to light that she had a boyfriend for quite a while...She tried to get my business that I owned before we ever met and everything else while she was at it...I still don't understand why I couldn't see it coming...

The divorce is final this Wednesday and I'll be glad to have it behind me...I know this doesn't help you understand what's happening but given time, you'll sort it out...Have faith...Ben

[my3peas]

:(
((((((HUGS))))))
I'm so sorry to hear this Debbi :( It can be so tough at times being in a marriage at times.
I hope you find strength and peace whatever your choice is.

[OTRphoto]

I was married to a very similar guy for almost 12 years. To this day no one that knows hims beleives that other side of him.. In public he was always very supportive - and then he'd turn on a dime when we got home. My final straw was him trying to run me over with his truck and then yelling at my (then) 8y/o son to stop being a wuss and stop crying - this was all his fault!

Sometimes it's BEST to seperate FOR the kids sake... Your kids depend on the both of yall for love and support, but if yall are not in a healthy stable relationship.. you are doing more long-term harm than good by "sticking it out". TRUST me ... the kids pick up on it (my parents divorced when I was about 8 as well - so I've seen both sides)

Talk to a lawyer and get your ducks in a row. It will be messy and hard - but in the end it will be worth it when you can learn to remember that you CAN hold your head up and be your own wonderful person without him around!

Best of luck!!!!!