Why parents drink....

[CaptainTom]

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent but had not phoned in sick one day. Needing to have an urgent problem with one of the main computers resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. ' Hello ? '

'Is your daddy home?' he asked.

' Yes ,' whispered the small voice.


May I talk with him?'

The child whispered, ' No .'

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, 'Is your Mummy there?' ' Yes '

'May I talk with her?' Again the small voice whispered, ' No '

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, 'Is anybody else there?'

' Yes ,' whispered the child, ' a policeman. '

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, 'May I speak with the policeman?'

' No, he's busy , ' whispered the child.

'Busy doing what?'

' Talking to Daddy, Mummy and the Fireman , ' came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, 'What is that noise?'

' A helicopter ' answered the whispering voice.

'What is going on there?' demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive. Again, whispering, the child answered,
' The search team just landed a helicopter. '

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, 'What are they searching for?'

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle... ' ME . '


Make mine a double,,, will ya ?

[Bruce M. Morris]

history channel had "The History of the Joke" on earlier. I think you have the winner for the best one!!

[Debbi]

OMG! Thanks for the laugh, Tom.

[Breezy]

Hahah too cute!!
I love it

[Bella]

Oh Amen!! How many times have your kids done something they thought was funny, but totally made you mad/worried/frustrated? LOL, the joys of parenting.

-Cindy

[J Eddington]

I lost my two year old. But I knew she couldn't have left the house, all the doors were locked and windows were closed. trying to remain calm but can't find her any where. I call out, look in everyroom, where the heck can she be. Under beds, chairs, behind every piece of furniture. Still can't find her. I am in a panic but still tell myself she is in the house. Finally I lose it, standing in the hall I yell at the top of my lungs. Then I see the in the bathroom the cabinet under the sink open. Sleepy eyes, rubbing them, "what mom".

[shanstu]

Sounds like my niece. My sister in law heard this calamity in the kitchen at 2:00 am, and rushed in there to find her daughter on TOP of the FRIDGE looking for cookies. She was two at the time. They ended up putting a lock backwards on her door because she just wouldn't stay in her room at night.

[Atfulldraw]

My dad has lots of gray hair.

When I was about five, I climbed to the top shelf of the linen closet and went to sleep there.

Apparently it took about a dozen policemen searching for me in the woods near my house and canvassing the neighborhood (at 3 am) before one finally looked in the linen closet.


Great joke~!

[Rson]

[kdloftis]

That's great!

[Howard Barlow]

When I was a kid, about 10 or 11, we lived across the street from the golf course my daddy worked at.

One day, my mother could not find my 2 y.o. sister. As we had no a/c, the screen door was unlatched, and she could go outside to play. Mother was frantic, she had run all over the yard, and the neighbors', too. She came in and ran to the phone and called my dad. I had no idea why, as I couldn't hear what she said, but I knew something was bad wrong.

In a few minutes, here comes my dad, golfers, and caddies, all running across the street. As the others fanned out in the neighborhood, daddy came running in. Only then did I find out what the hub-ub was about.

"You're gonna have to help us find Julie," he yelled.

"Find Julie? Why? She's sitting right there." She had been sitting, hunched down in the corner of the couch, watching tv the whole time.

Momma had been preoccupied with something, then realized she hadn't heard Julie. She had jumped up, ran through the house looking for her, then outside. She never had said anything to me. And, she never looked our way.

They were, obviously, so relieved. Mother was embarrassed. Daddy hugged her, and said everything was ok. He went outside and hollered at everyone, "She found her. Everyone back to the course!"

Being the loving husband he was, he waited until they were back at the course before he told them what happened. After all, he didn't want to embarrass her in the front yard. He bought everyone a drink, and thanked them. All in all, it's good be surrounded by good people. Especially when yo momma ain't tunin' in.