I am a total devotee of Leica M photography.

[johnastovall]

I am a total devotee of Leica M photography.

Copyright (c) 2004 Peter A. Klein
Sung to the tune of "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General"
Apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan

The Scene:
A photographic gathering in an upmarket hotel. The Master Amateur isholding forth on the glories of Leica. He is dressed in a battered oldraincoat and a French beret. In his hand is a battered M3 covered with black tape.
He is surrounded by a chorus of paunchy middle-aged men, each wearingan enormous autofocus SLR with zoom lens. The lenses bounce on theirbellies when they sing......



(MASTER AMATEUR)

I am a total devotee of Leica M photography.
I will not buy a digicam, I won't do videography.
I read the work of Lager with his product list canonical.
I'll never use a plastic lens with focus ultrasonical.



I look at other cameras with an attitude that's whimsical.
I do not want an SLR with viewing pentaprimsical.
The look of glass from Asia makes me squint my eyes and squirm a knee.

I'd rather get my lenses from a little town in Germany.



(CHORUS)

He'd rather get his lenses from a little town in Germany.

He'd rather get his lenses from a little town in Germany.

He'd rather get his lenses from a little town in Germa-Germa-ny.



(MASTER AMATEUR)

I will never put my camera on a tripod that is teetering.

I cannot understand the need for modern matrix metering.

Look back upon my history, it's all in my biography:

I am a total devotee of Leica M photography.



(CHORUS)

Look back upon his history, it's all in his biography:

He is a total devotee of Leica M photography.



(MASTER AMATEUR)

I love my Leica cameras with passion that's tyrannical

A rangefinder, a floating frame, and everything mechanical.

The shutter curtain's rubberized, and fashioned from the finest silk.

The lenses have a bokeh that is smooth as summer buttermilk.



My fifty f-two Summicron takes landscapes that are lyrical.

I pierce the gloomy shadows with my Summilux aspherical.

I must have Leica quality although it costs me lots o' bucks.

I bought a ninety APO, I'm saving for a Noctilux.



(CHORUS)

He bought a ninety APO, he's saving for a Noctilux.

He bought a ninety APO, he's saving for a Noctilux.

He bought a ninety APO, he's saving for a Nocti-Nocti-lux.



(MASTER AMATEUR)

I develop all my Tri-X film in acid that's ascorbical.

I try to make my photos have a reference metaphorbical.

And so throughout my history, you'll find in my biography:

I am a total devotee of Leica M photography.



(CHORUS)

And so throughout his history, we find in his biography:

He is a total devotee of Leica M photography.



(MASTER AMATEUR)

I want to be like Eisenstadt and Smith and Frank and HCB.

I take my Christmas photos in a style that's documentary.

I never shoot at weathered rocks and twisted trees and gnats and logs.

There's universal pathos in my pictures of my cats and dogs.



I lurk in bars and coffeshops, and stalk the streets with Delphic glee.

To shoot unwary passers-by with Leica mounted pelvically.

But when I spy a plant that has a lovely flower's bloom upon.

I take a dazzling close-up with my dual-ranging Summicron.



(CHORUS)

He takes a dazzling close-up with his dual-ranging Summicron.

He takes a dazzling close-up with his dual-ranging Summicron.

He takes a dazzling close-up with his dual-ranging Summi-Summi-cron.



(MASTER AMATEUR)

And although I've tried the other brands they always are inferior.

They can't resolve the fuzz upon a baby's bare posterior.

That's why throughout my history, you'll find in my biography:

I am a total devotee of Leica M photography.



(CHORUS)

That's why throughout his history, you'll find in his biography:

He is a total devotee of Leica M photography.

[Daniel Bates]

Somebody has waaaaay too much time on their hands.

[studiocygnet]

I had to think of how that tune went for a minute, then I got the rhyme scheme. But now, if your photos have metaphorbical references, does that mean they reference nothing, since it's not a real word?

Originally Posted by johnastovall

I try to make my photos have a reference metaphorbical.