Banned from Wal-Mart

[dbphotos]

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she loved to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through yelled, 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed, 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least...

October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

Sincerely,

Wal-Mart

[toverman]

Ha, that's great. I've seen variations on this before.

The only thing that really tipped me off is the Aug. 23 incident ... no Wal-Mart employee has never asked me if I needed help. In fact, if I look like I need help they are all suddenly taking smoke breaks on the loading dock.

[Debbi]

That's funny. Never heard it before so thanks for sharing. Todd (lol)!

[a2rob]

Wow, that is funny!!

[Wes]

Rofl!

[groovyone]

My dad is notorious for messing with my brother's people at BestBuy. He has asked an employee in the computer section what would happen if he deleted the Windows folder, and when the employee said "Nothing" he went ahead and deleted it. He also put my brother's address in several of the display GPS systems. heh.

[dhphoto]

[PhotoPunk]

Originally Posted by dbphotos

June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

Excellent list...I've done this many times...

[ngoduyviet]

Funny list. Thanks for sharing.

Originally Posted by PhotoPunk

Excellent list...I've done this many times...

Extra large / small / funky ones?

[PhotoPunk]

Originally Posted by ngoduyviet

Extra large / small / funky ones?

haha that's an awesome idea...I've just grabbed the usuals...but kinky ones would rock...then watch the cashier's reaction....

[3n-Out]

LOL - Great...

[Steelsun]

Great classic, and I've been guilty of a few.

Some others I have done:

Bought a bike at a 24 hour Walmart, at 3 AM, and rode it to the check out line.
Then asked them to bag it for me.

Rode my motorcycle to a 24 hr walmart in the middle of the night and walked in with my helmet under my arm straight to the pet department. Asked for and bought 1 goldfish (when they used to sell them). Then left with it.
(By the way, they will not put goldfish on layaway)

(I used to work a late night shift, and on days off would be bored)

[nikondude24]

How did Wal-Mart get your address?

[crazeazn]

its a joke jonathan :)

[paul48503]

That's Good!