Finances: Poll

[Cajungaltx]

My DH is deploying for 364 days in the fall. We have two kids (11 year old, and a 19 month old) and a decent household income. We save some, and spend the rest. We both drive newer cars - 2006 & 2007 - which come with new car payments. We have less than 3K in credit card debts.

We are taking a financial class, called Financial Peace University (Dave Ramsey is my god!), and for the most part, we are on board with this. At least it seems in theory.

"I" am on board with it. I've sold almost $1,000+ worth of 'stuff' that was in the house that we didn't need. I've cut back on what I'm spending drastically. I'm staying FAR away from camera porn. FAR away.

My DH 'likes' the idea... and he'll make noises about 'being debt free'... but then he eats out breakfast, lunch and sometimes dinner. He works for ATT and leaves at 6:00am, and most the time doesn't get off until late. He'll buy the stuff to fix his lunches, etc - but then just doesn't. Our 11 year old fixes HER lunch every day - so he's perfectly capable of doing so.

This is definitely an 'us' type of mentality - but one person being aware of the finances and depriving herself of Starbucks, and not taking the girls out for lunch or dinner when daddy is working late.... causes a bit of resentment.

So I thought a poll would be a good idea. I think we actually have more guys on this forum than girls... and some have been married a lot longer, so I'm interested in experience and feedback.

[shamrock]

My hubby is currently in Afghanistan. He's been overseas for 3 years, working in Afghanistan, Kuwait and Iraq. We have a good income. He pulls an "allowance" whenever he gets paid, i manage the rest of the money.

We currently max our 401k and have individual Roth IRAs set up. We carry very little CC debt, using the cards but paying them monthly. We do have 3 car payments (a luxury), one of which will be paid off next month, and a second by the end of the year. His student loan debt will also be paid off in the next couple of months.

My biggest gripe is that hubby is supposed to use his allowance for what he wants - he spends the cash, but also charges up his cards. Our deal is that if he uses the cards, that amount comes out of his next draw. Nice in theory, not working in truth. I've given him some Dave Ramsey material to read.

On our current track, the house should be paid off in about 18 months, and we will be completely debt free with about 100K in liquid assets, plus the house and cars.

[jgrindal]

I manage the finances, but every two weeks, my wife and I sit down and review how we are spending according to the budget and get a clear picture of where we are financially. We used to have some pretty significant fights about finances, because I was managing them without any input from her. I've found that keeping everyone in the loop has gone a long way to help not only tensions, but helped control spending as well.

[CallMeAl]

In the words of Dave Ramsey....rice and beans...beans and rice! Good for you. My wife and I are trying as much as possible to live the Dave Ramsey Lifestyle. It's tough, but like all good things, it takes sacrifice. I was on board long before my wfie was. What changed it for us, was a firend of hers got interested in it. If her friend said it...it was gospel. It all dpends on who's saying it sometimes. Maybe if one of your husband's friends was on board with it, he would see it differently. Good luck!

[tresorph]

Well at least he's going to the classes with you? I went alone... he was more like, "hey you take care of it all. As long I get to eat lunches out and buy computer stuff." Argh. The first day at Dave Ramsey is all about togetherness and tackling it "together". Um thanks.

I need to go again. I'm about to pay off about 75% of my debt (not counting morgtage) and I need to get my priorities straight. Havn't been a "shopper" in quite a while, and I can't be tempted now with all the extra money staying in the accts.

[Cajungaltx]

Originally Posted by shamrock

My hubby is currently in Afghanistan. He's been overseas for 3 years, working in Afghanistan, Kuwait and Iraq. We have a good income. He pulls an "allowance" whenever he gets paid, i manage the rest of the money.

We currently max our 401k and have individual Roth IRAs set up. We carry very little CC debt, using the cards but paying them monthly. We do have 3 car payments (a luxury), one of which will be paid off next month, and a second by the end of the year. His student loan debt will also be paid off in the next couple of months.

My biggest gripe is that hubby is supposed to use his allowance for what he wants - he spends the cash, but also charges up his cards. Our deal is that if he uses the cards, that amount comes out of his next draw. Nice in theory, not working in truth. I've given him some Dave Ramsey material to read.

On our current track, the house should be paid off in about 18 months, and we will be completely debt free with about 100K in liquid assets, plus the house and cars.

We canceled all our cards. *ROFLMAO* We actually cut them up, however I got a bill and DH had gone into Academy and just used his DL to charge... WTF??? Nope - gone baby gone - no more surprises like that.

[David_3]

Well, since I don't have a wife, kids, dog, or family, I earn the money, and spend it any way I want.

[Coelus]

We have written budget that I try to get my wife more involved with. She claims it's all too complicated for her. She doesn't like it when I point out that her mad skills at discount and coupon shopping are more complicated then the budget:)

We also set up four accounts: His, Hers, Ours, and You Better Be Having a Heart Attack
All of the utility bills, insurance, etc come out of Ours. Our paychecks also go into Ours. Anything not pre-planned, or big ticket items also comes out of this account. But we both talk about it and agree to buying what ever it is first. It's also an interest bearing checking account so keeping a decent amount of money in this is worth a tiny bit.

Every week we transfer what is budgeted for each of us to use into our personal accounts. Mostly just gas and a little spending money. My wife does 99% of the grocery buying so she gets that money too. I just follow her around the store and check out the free samples. If we know something is coming up like a haircut or something we'll stick that in that weeks transfer. The idea is to eliminate impulse spending. We do leave a $100 padding in those accounts.

We also have a savings account for emergencies that we can transfer out of too. Someone better have lost an arm before we use this.

Both our vehicles are paid for, and the house is paid off. None of this stuff is fancy or new; but it's ours and not a banks. I bought one new vehicle in my life and my daughter wrapped it around a tree a couple days before Christmas. Instead of getting another payment I bought a old used car. Between the lower insurance and having no monthly payment it's like having a second job. We still have a little old debt left to pay off. When that is done we could live on less than 20K a year in theory. It wouldn't be fun but it is possible. Looking at it from that angle if the economy really really tanks we would come out of it in decent shape. All you have put forth half a effort to work for two people to scrape together 20 grand. Makes me sleep a little better at night knowing how bad it can't get.

[TexasPhotoBooth]

I take care of our finances. Most EVERYthing is auto-bill pay. The only "pay by checks" are mortgage, water, electric.
We're blessed :)

[Spec A!]

Warning- super long post to commence below!

Soon after we got together about 8 years ago my wife and I got our collective financial "s" together. We knew we were going to get married and would want a house and kids at some point but were in no position to be able to do it living our current lifestyle. We each had a large amount of debt (almost 30K each in combined credit cards and student loans). We each had new cars that we sold, pretty much breaking even on the loans and bought sub $2000 beaters. We saved like no one's biz, paid off all of our debt, never went out, and focused on staying with in our budget. I sold over $5K of Nikkor glass and film bodies that I sometimes regret, but was the smartest thing to do at the time. Luckily we both made good money, are both homebodies and not the drinking/partying type and really had no crazy vices like our friends- alcohol, cigs, and coffee are expensive! We were able to cut back enough to live on one income, using the other to pay off all debt and save. We did this for 4 years. When my beater died after 2.5years we bought a slightly used 1yr old car for me, and did the same for my wife as the upcoming family mobile. We paid both off in 15months. We also paid for our wedding and honeymoon to Maui out of pocket. My wife is a financial genius if you ask me.
When it came time to buy a house (which was after our 1st was born and we were still living in a small 2 bed 2 floor apartment), it was the height of the bubble and we lived in Annapolis, MD- expensiveville. She had family in The Woodlands area and were astounded at the housing costs compared. So we started looking for jobs and houses, about a year later I found one and she was able to work from home with her current job- our incomes stayed the same but we moved to place with 1/4 the cost of housing prices, and 20% lower cost of living. We drove down, made an offer on a house in the 5 days we were here, I stayed and started work while the wife and kid went back to MD to finish tying things up and then I flew back a month later to drive everything down and move in.

Because we had trained ourselves to live very frugally, we were able to buy a nice house in a good area and afford the lifestyle we knew we wanted and also the future we wanted to provide to our kids. My wife is too smart and too anal not to handle the finances. I'm involved, sometimes not to the degree that she would like I'm sure, but she's also too controlling to let any of it go! But it works well, and neither of us have the need to constantly "reward ourselves" with splurges, and we're always questioning every dime we spend. We have zero credit card debt, charge most everything including any utilities on our Amex, pay it off every month and rack up points we redeem for giftcards for loads of stuff (yeah Home Depot!). We traded in my wife's car for a new one right before our 2nd was born in 07, and I still drive the same car and will till we pay off the new car. But because of our diligence and patience, we are in a very good spot with a nice chunk of traditional savings in the bank, 10% each to our 401Ks (matched 6%), just started 529s for the kids, and instead of 12 monthly mortgage payments, we do the equivalent of bi-weekly which adds up to an extra month's payment a year. We shop around and research the crap out of every major purchase. We eat out usually every sat night as a family, and I cook the remaining 6 nights. Now that the kids are starting to grow a little, the wife and I are actually taking a vacation just for us every year, as well as going back East to visit.

Bottom line, we wouldn't be in the good position we are if we hadn't both been 100% invested in and committed to what we wanted to accomplish, and stuck with it. It was hard, and it took a long time but has really paid off.

Sorry for the long post!

[Cajungaltx]

Anthony -
Sounds like you guys sacrificed together for the betterment of your family position. As Dave says, Live like no one else, so you can LIVE like no one else.

Awesome post - good insight! I appreciate it!
Donna

[Tom]

About to get married.
Our plan:
Joint checking: Our paychecks both go in here. Out of this, we go grocery shopping together, dates together, mortgage (house shopping now,) bills, student loans, etc.

Separate Personal Checking: We each get an allowance (which is the same for both of us) and this will cover frivolities. We can do what we want with it, no questions asked. Extra stuff we do for money goes into that. So she is a singer, her gig money is play money. What I pay myself is my play money. So my netflix comes out of mine, her pedicures comes out of hers. Lunches out come out of this, but groceries (including lunch making stuff) come out of the joint checking. So if I want to go to buy lunch every day from McAllister's that is my choice, but that is $8/day that comes out of my play money. I think she likes that stipulation, because her lunches are only $2/day at school.

Savings: Set money goes from the direct deposit into it.
Investing: Set amount/month

Photography Business Account: What comes in from photography is mainly reinvested in photography. I pay myself (and her) a salary out of it, which goes to our play accounts. When I have all the gear I want (sidenote: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!1, I convinced her that this would happen!) then we will pay ourselves more out of that account.

[kenw]

We are fortunate to be a single income family, it's the way we wanted it. I make it, she manages it, and quite well i might add..... But we don't spend without consulting the other. I eat out 1-2 times per week, eat in others: sandwiches, TV dinners, etc. We have cut back on evening eating outs, both for the $$ and the health costs. Since she is home most days, she is able to cook an appropriate evening meal. Last night I grilled steaks, we both ate steak for under $5....When we eat out, we have water; there's $3-5 a meal. We do not drink alcohol, so we can save a ton of $$ that way.

New cars are a huge sinkhole. A one-year old car will last just as long and cost 20-25% less. We have 2 cars, but only allow ourselves one payment. Each car has to last thru its 5 year loan AND thru the other's 5 year loan, or 10 years....so you have to buy cars that will last that long.

It also means you have to grow up and be ok with driving a car that's 10 years old. $500/ a month on car payments will make a LOT of car repairs. Drive it until it CANNOT be repaired. My son's car has 240k on it and does just fine. Since he doesn't have a car payment, he can save for when it falls apart. If I can't fix it.

No leasing, that's just insane financially. I drive 60+ miles RT daily, so I got a car with that in mind. Yes, I could have spent 40-50-60k on a car, but why? My ego can handle a Civic. Sometimes buying new makes sense, but it is rare. Get the ego out of the way and do the math.

If you think you need to lease to be able to afford the car you want, you need to rethink want vs need.

When you can, accelerate car/house notes, round it up to the next $100 or even $10. We paid off the house in 21 years thru re-fi and acceleration so last Nov we effectively got a $800/month raise. We paid off her car in 4.5 years instead of 5 and it allowed me to get mine a bit sooner....'cause I wasn't going to get one until her's was paid for! Prepayment penalties are rare; and they're illegal in many cases anyway.

We protested the house appraisal and got a moderate drop in taxes. We handle our own escrow so we can take advantages of early payment discounts, and can double up on tax payments to maximize income tax deductions when it makes sense. Credit cards are paid off monthly. (they hate us...but keep raising our limit anyway!) And we do not have ANY cards that charge fees and cannot figure out why otherwise-normally sane people pay ATM fees. If they won't take my debit card, I buy somewhere else. Period. I probably didn't need it anyway.

I change the oil on the cars myself when possible and I can mow the yard just fine, thank you. I can also repair most things around the house and do so when possible: plumbing, electrical, whatever. I realize not everyone can, but there are always chances to learn how. I wasn't born handy; I learned it by doing it. We have the neighbors watch the dog when we travel, boarding costs $$ and is horribly traumatic for Molly....and us.

We use ceiling fans whenever we're in the room AND have a programmable t-stat that we set at 78 in the summer and 68 in the winter when we are home. It resets warmer/cooler while we sleep. When we aren't home it goes to 85 and 65 (basically off). 30 years ago it took some getting used to, now we are fine with it. It also makes your $5-10k AC/heating unit last longer.....and no it doesn't cost more to cool it down when you come home. Pure urban legend.

We won't buy that new flat panel HD TV until the 35" CRT monster breaks AND cannot be fixed.

Now that the kids are gone, she has a PT job that lets her get out 1-2 days a week and gets some mad money. Other days she takes care of the house, so we don't pay a maid. She also does the laundry; dry cleaning is a huge waste of money, 95% of your clothes don't need it and you won't really wear them long enough to claim it makes them last longer (which btw, is mostly bogus).

Tight? not really. Frugal? definitely.

[AndrewCCM]

Wife is a stay at home mom. She worked with me for 10yrs at the same company prior to this. Her 401k was switched over to Roth in 2001 and has subsequently been managed by my father-in-law (a financial adviser by trade). Her investments are doing just fine in this terrible economy. Both of our kids have investment accounts as well which are contributed to by us and their grandparents. They are 7 and 2 and both have way more in their accounts than I did when I started college.

Me...I have worked there 17yrs...make twice as much as she ever did and my 401K is worth about half of hers!! Still all in all we're doing fine and I am happy that the only debt that we keep is our house and cars. Credit cards are used and paid off every month.

Thankfully, my photography business gives me plenty of extra spending money while my primary income is handling our expenses and savings. Still putting in around 17% in my 401k...just hoping that it rebounds. I have a good 20+ yrs until retirement, so we'll see... LOL

[Spec A!]

Ken you sound just like me- I actually love to change my cars' oil and mow my own lawn, hell even clean the house! We were devastated at the thought of having a new car payment, but like you said- we bought a car that will last. Once it's paid off, I get it, and my current car will get sold or traded in on the next "new" car, and so on and so forth.

One thing I wanted to mention too- My wife and I are probably younger than most everyone on these boards. It amazes me to see people in my same age group or even older that still act and spend money like they are 21! This isn't to say you can't have fun at 31, but freakin A, what a waste. Every year that goes by that you don't have your finances in order and your priorities straight will make it exponentially harder to retire well, if you can retire at all! My wife's cousin who is only a few years younger- they live here in The Woodlands as well. He and his wife make that same as we do if not more, have no kids, smaller mortgage, but have no savings, complain about always being broke and often have to get a payday advance! It's just craziness! They have less they are financially responsible for (and yes we know), yet they are in way worse shape! I just can't even comprehend it sometimes.

Think ahead people!