Maintaining Relationships: Kids

[Cajungaltx]

DH is deploying in the fall - we have a 19 month old, and an 11 year old - what types of things would YOU do as a parent to maintain relationships with your kids long distance?

I came up with the idea of buying books (for the baby) and having him read them to her on DVD - and giving her one every couple of weeks until he gets home.

But the 11 year old is the hard one to figure out stuff for.

What would YOU do - if your spouse were going to be gone for a year... or if YOU were going to be gone for a year - to maintain relationships with your family long distance?

[Coelus]

Is video conferencing possible?

[Cajungaltx]

Originally Posted by Coelus

Is video conferencing possible?

I don't know, right now. Maybe? We will try to do the 'obvious' stuff like telephone calls, and that kind of thing - but I think that the idea that 'distance makes the heart grow fonder' is a stupid a$$ statement. Especially with kids. Our daughter will be 2 when he leaves, and 3 when he gets back.... and I'm going to be trying my darndest to make sure she doesn't run screaming to ME when he gets home.

The 11 year old... she'll be 12 in April... and 13 when he gets back... and that's already a difficult age (and she's a good kid)... so knowing she is important, during an age where she probably feels she isn't 'so' important (and the fact that the baby gets books every couple weeks... you know? ).. I've thought about things like getting a couple of books that they could both read and email/write letters about... or some kind of bible study (both my husband and my dd like that)..

I don't know... planning is a requirement for me... if I can plan stuff... I feel like I have a modicum of control over things.

[knowimagination]

I love the idea of the dvd's of him reading books for the little one.

The 11,12,13 year old I really do like the idea of the Bible study for the two of them. Something like that where there is more interaction than just talking about how they are will certainly be beneficial for them both. As long as they continue to develop their relationship, albeit at a distance, will be the key. So whether it is a Bible study, book reading, or anything else like that should be on the right track. If either of them are into photography as well little picture challenges where they plan something and then later have the chance to share their photos and discuss them could be fun as well.

Granted I am only 23 w/ no kids so take all my info with a grain of salt as you see fit.

[Tom]

My uncle is a master sergeant, so he has some niceties that not all soldiers get. He skypes with his family quite a bit, and with his macbook and built in video camera, he was able to ichat quite a bit.

The free line to call home for his soldiers was in his office, so that helped a lot, too. :)

[Cajungaltx]

Originally Posted by FalconN

I love the idea of the dvd's of him reading books for the little one.

The 11,12,13 year old I really do like the idea of the Bible study for the two of them. Something like that where there is more interaction than just talking about how they are will certainly be beneficial for them both. As long as they continue to develop their relationship, albeit at a distance, will be the key. So whether it is a Bible study, book reading, or anything else like that should be on the right track. If either of them are into photography as well little picture challenges where they plan something and then later have the chance to share their photos and discuss them could be fun as well.

Granted I am only 23 w/ no kids so take all my info with a grain of salt as you see fit.

Thanks Kyle! I appreciate you input! Age/no kids don't matter - ideas are always good.

[J Eddington]

I like the idea of Bible Study, but at that age I think you will need more. Give her a camera and let her take photos of goofy things that she and her friends are doing and post online for dad to see. And he can do the same thing. Maybe even a photo a day. Depends upon the child.
I saw a guy reading a book called 101 ways to be a Long distance dads. I have no idea about it but i remember because it made me smile that he cared so much about his child/ren.
Have you checked out Dads at a Distance. They have some good ideas. http://www.daads.com/

[z-monster]

I'm on my way home from Iraq as of this writting. I have 2 kids, my son is 10 and my daughter is 7. I basically stayed up late nights (when I was not due to go on a patrols the next day) and chatted with both of them on yahoo when they got home from school. Several times we got on webcam and exchanged funny faces plus voice calls when the connections support it. Internet in Iraq can be rather slow.

My kids and I also exchanged photos a lot thru e-mail!

I've been doing it this way for a long time now. This is my 5th deployment I've had around the world since 2003. My fear was that my daughter being the youngest would never recognize me when I came home the 1st few times. However my ex-wife encourages the sharing of photos and chat/webcam time. Each time I've come home my kids always find me among the hundreds of troops who come home with me.

Every time!

Some form of communication is always a plus. I truly think you and your kids are gonna be ok.

[gregt1310]

Very good advice Justin. And thank you for your service!!

[iCe]

Coming at it from the other direction- My boys were both in the USAF. The oldest is out and is now working for a civilian contractor working for the Army. He is at a base somewhere in the Iraq desert. Cell phone service is bad at times (even in Kuwait). As a civilian he still has access to the same stuff that the soldiers get. Considering where he is, the internet is not bad. Not FIOS but not bad. The youngest is in Minot, ND and he only comes home once a year. He's non-deployable because of his job / security clearance. He works in the nuclear weapon field. If he gets to cross train into something a little more normal then that may change for the better... or worse depending how you look at it.

I realize that MySpace or Facebook aren't for everyone but you can lock MySpace down so you control who has access (don't know about Facebook. I heard they "own" the photographs posted there so none for me thanks). So, especially for the deployed, it seems like MySpace is an ok way to host pictures, trade comments, etc. I'm not sure if the military allows that for deployed soldiers though.

I thought your book reading DVD idea was awesome. Very creative. Turn it around and send him something along those lines. He'll need it...

Thanks to all who serve

[123canon]

Originally Posted by Coelus

Is video conferencing possible?

this would be my choice too and have them spend as much time together as possible before he goes to get the 11 ready- good luck and thanks for yall's service to our country...

[carrbowl]

Donna, I've been thinking about this all day. I've thought of a couple ideas. (halo of mercy!!) May not be the best, but it might trigger something more for you. One is to do something similar to the never ending TPF story here. Have a internet source they can both access where they both can write a story. On the days they can, they can write a paragraph or two..it would be interesting to see what they write about...

Idea #2..have some short stories where they can fill in the blanks. Or where it is a short story kind of thing where you start the story and they finish it.

Of course all this depends on the personality of your daughter. I think your husband would probably do whatever, just because he is a father and understands the magnitude and the worth of the project..I'll keep thinking...