egos and confidence....

[janetg]

okay, let's just say, i have several friends that OOZE confidence. their egos are so large i'm surprised they can fit through a door.

now, let me also say, that their egos are so far out of whack in respect to their actual talent, or lack thereof, that i just don't get it. i'm seriously not getting it. mind you, i think if i had a bigger ego - i might do better business-wise, as i wouldn't be so timid in talking prices, i could boast myself up to potential clients, but...i can't do it. it makes me uncomfortable.

i do not think my work is total crap, most of it is really good, but i know i have a lot of room for improvement. i make mistakes and i learn from them and really really try not to repeat them.

these people that i speak of though, make the same mistakes over and over.
they don't know their equipment, and never ever try anything different than shooting in 'p' mode. they dont' know how to use photoshop, they don't know a thing about websites, etc.

but...when you listen to them talk, they are the greatest thing since sliced bread. help me understand!!! i want to be a slice of bread too!! haha

on a serious note, and i am being serious, how or why do you think some people have over-inflated ego's, what triggers that personality trait in a person?

[alamoshutterbug]

Not to split hairs, but you're confusing the two terms and I think making the distinction may help you out.

Ego:
An exaggerated sense of self-importance; conceit.
Appropriate pride in oneself; self-esteem.

Confidence:
1.a: a feeling or consciousness of one's powers or of reliance on one's circumstances b: faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper, or effective way
2: the quality or state of being certain : certitude

But to answer your last question. I feel this is a "nurture" aspect of growing up, and some of the years encompassing middle school and high school can make all the difference between conceited and humble. You can still be humble and confident. In fact, I feel a humble but confident person shows much stronger than an egotist.

Do you practice your pitching alone, in front of a mirror, with someone you know. That will help build confidence in your work and your business. Do you go up for critique? It's also something that can instill confidence, as well as humility.

[janetg]

i'm not actually trying to learn to pitch myself or anything, i prefer the humble route.

i'm more or less trying to understand what makes some people so proud of what they do, when it's not that good - i am saying, i get phone calls, im's, etc - with 'hey look at this' or on the phone when they say something like - 'my WORK' speaks for itself and it's good - and you end up scratching your head thinking...are we looking at the same stuff?

thanks eric for the comments, i agree they are two seperate distinctions, but often they go hand in hand.

edited to say...glad i'm not the only one up this early on a sunday morning - haha

[Cajungaltx]

One word for you: PRIDE

I think that you can be confident, but humble.... to me, that is the ideal, a person who is truly everlasting TEACHABLE (learning)....

And then you can have the opposite... confident, and arrogant....and unfortunately...usually those people present themselves with large egos, and are unteachable.... they already 'know' everything....

Cajungaltx added 7 Minutes and 44 Seconds later...Double Post Merged Below

Oh - almost forgot to add... growing up, my husband's mom basically praised EVERY bloody thing that he did.... Stupid thing: She'd find something smart about it....regardless of how stupid it was.

We went to the rodeo a while back, and he had to run in to get tickets for the soldiers (Salute to Armed Forces thing) and so I walked up with the baby separately. When I got to a gate - I asked the gate guy where I was at. He told me Gate 6. My husband ended up at the OTHER end of Reliant....and when we FINALLY figured out where I was at - I told him that the guy (and the guy beside him) had told me where I was at.

He went up and corrected the guy - in a not very polite (in my opinion) way. I was slightly embarrassed....for myself, and for him. We talked about it- actually, I asked him if either of our daughters had spoke to that man, or him in that manner, would he be okay with it....and he agreed he was out of line.

When we told the story to his mom - his mom was all about how he 'showed him'. I waited until we left, and told my husband, that if he wants to wonder why he has a difficult time with people... think about what his mom just did. She supported him behaving like a jerk - because 'he' can do no wrong.

It's going to take YEARS of marriage to help him understand that despite his mom's belief that he walks on water.... he really isn't capable of it... *grin*

[Jenny Z]

Fake it to make it, RIGHT?!?!





(just in case, that was sarcasm)

[ttusa]

I usually lack confidence, so maybe one of your high ego friends can pass some this way :)

[brad]

Confidence = sales.

Over-confidence in an inferior product and you run the risk of turning into a caricature.

[Daniel Bates]

^^^ Shamwow, anyone?

[Jeff_Green]

I also think that the ego problem you describe MIGHT be because they know they lack 1) the talent needed, 2) the willingness to learn, 3) or both. They compensate their lack of abilities by talking about how good they are... you can fool some of the people some of the time...

[toverman]

If people who have gigantic egos continually fail to deliver, then I'm confident they'll soon be finding something else to do.