I lost my baby Bear Ferret

[pippin]

So as some of you may have remembered, 18 months ago my gentleman ferret Bear was diagnosed with insulinoma, which is basically tiny tumors that grow on the pancreas, causing low blood sugar, seizures and death if left untreated.

Well, 18 months of no complaining, no fighting with me at feeding time or anything, over the last week he had started to progress downhill. By Monday he had started a rapid decline even after an increase in medications.

By Wednesday we were pretty much on death watch. I woke up that day, called my husband, and asked how he was. Not good he said. My husband had to pretty much use his finger and hand-feed whereas before he'd happily eat from the lid of the baby food jar.

I'd already made an appointment for the vet on monday to be seen on wednesday (apparently TV vets from animal planet are hard to make appointments with LOL - the vet we see is Dr Kevin Fitzgerald from Emergency Vets and E-Vet Interns - thankfully no longer filming as it was a madhouse when they were)

So we went in. Generally Mr Bear (or baby boy as I called him even though he was 5) is pretty curious and will want to explore the smells and sounds and sights of the clinic. Wednesday was different. He just stayed in his hammock in the travel cage. Dr Fitzgerald came in, weighed him (stayed at a steady 2lbs all throughout the treatments from when he was first diagnosed) and came back and said that there was fluid in the abdominal cavity and that he was jaundiced meaning the cancer had spread to the liver.

I'd prepared myself for the worst earlier, but it was still hard as anything to hear. To hear the vet say "that essentially the wolf was at the door" and that there was really nothing more that could be done and the best thing for him would be to euthanize (which I'd accepted would be likely that day) him so he wouldn't be in pain. Dr Fitzgerald said the usual time from diagnosis to death with this cancer was 11 months if that. Bear fought for 18 without so much as a complaint. He knew when it was medication time. He knew from the sounds and that it was our time together, and he would get a treat after for being a good boy.

So today 4 days after, I'm still grieving the loss of my baby boy. I keep doubting myself, blaming myself and just missing him. We are having him cremated and although I haven't quite figured out what to do with his ashes, I'm still going to miss him. He's left a huge void in my heart, and my other two ferrets are in a state of depression also as they've lost their cagemate and play buddy.

I want him back so badly. I've tried to stay strong, but I still want him back.

[Imagebuffet]

I'm sorry for your loss. I had a little dog that I raised from a pup, from the time I was 7 years old until I was about 23. His kidneys failed, so we had to euthanize him. We buried him in front of our house. That was about 19 years ago, but I still sometimes, rarely, have dreams of him still alive.

[Jfiumara]

/hugs

I'm so sorry. Losing a member of the family is always rotten.

What a wonderful doctor you have in Dr. Fitzgerald though. He was always my favorite on Emergency Vets. lol

[BigC]

Any thing worthy of love. Is worthy of morning.
Take care. Cliff

[Mandy]

Originally Posted by BigC

Any thing worthy of love. Is worthy of morning.

I love that and have never heard it before. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hate that part of pet ownership.

[toverman]

I am sorry to hear about your loss. It is amazing how little (or big) furry creatures can carve out a home in your heart. Eventually, your memories will center on the good ones as time goes on.

[djroga]

may you never lose the memories..cherish them

[Lexie]

I'm sorry! Loosing a pet is hard.

[pippin]

There's still part of me blaming myself for this. The days are easy, the nights - after 18 months of twice daily feedings with hubby doing mornings and me doing evenings, I'm finding it difficult not to get everything ready.

But now I have 10 jars of turkey baby food that I no longer need :(

[The Philos]

Sorry to hear - we had a kit that died around his first birthday from IBD, we donated the baby food we had leftover from him to a family who had a child. You'll never replace the fuzzbutt, but you can always get another.

Owning 3 (or more) is a good number as one dies the other doesn't get lonely, depressed and stressed because it still has a buddy to play with while you find another for your trio. We have 3 now and will be growing our fuzzy family in the future. :)

[pippin]

Yeah, we've got three. Well, two now - so they are keeping each other company, but it took me 18 months almost to get another one after my first one died, so I don't know when or if I'll get another one.

Bear was special. When Miss Boo was getting ill, Bear would prevent my (larger) ferret Poncho from eating from the food dish so Miss Boo could eat. He'd always be protective of her - just like he was with Luna (my current youngest from Canada) when Poncho was picking on her. He was the quintessential gentleman.

We had him cremated, so hopefully this week we can pick up his ashes. I'm making a little garden (I've got a brown thumb when it comes to gardening so we shall see how this turns out) as a memorial - I'll likely put some of his ashes in there, but I was thinking getting some jewelry to put some of them in to also so he can always be close to my heart. Creepy I know, but I loved him so much.

[The Philos]

We buried ours under a Magnolia.