Really hard session tomorrow... help?

[BabyHopes]

I'm going tomorrow to do portraits for a good friend and his wife. He's dying from liver failure. (A complication related to chemo he's been doing.) I just got off the phone with my Dad, and they're not even certain if he'll hold out through tomorrow. So I just don't have a lot of time to prepare for this shoot. I need feedback, and fast.

If you knew this would be one of your last opportunities to have portraits with a dying loved one, what would you be looking for? Has anybody done anything like this? What stands out to you as the most important aspect of the whole session?

I've been looking through the "Now I Lay Me Down" site. I really like the candid and private nature of most of those images, but am not sure how to translate that appropriately to adults. (Am I making any sense?)

I guess I'm looking for pointers any BTDT's and advice.

[jagphoto]

I think the idea of looking at NILMDTS was great. I would just say that having them look directly into the camera is not the look you probably want. If you are just able to capture hands holding, the curves of their faces when they hold each other, a tender kiss on the side of his/her face, etc. I am not sure how much he can move around, but if there is anything they like to do together (like read) then you can get a picture of that. Pictures of her caring for him. Do you know how mobile he is?

[CCGamer]

Yes, it's a tough one. I did a session with a family I was close to where the mother was within weeks of passing away. Everyone knew it, nothing witheld and it was obvious to all what the intent of the session was all about.
As worked well for me, embrace the moment with everyone involved and try to capture light-heartedness, smiles, unique looks - whatever will be felt later by all concerned looking at the photos that makes them remember the special person they were.
I got lucky and captured that once in a million photograph with the lady that showed the true character her entire family recognized and it ended up on the cover of the photo book I made for the entire family. That book became so very special to everyone at the funeral and was the breaker of awkward moments and gave everyone a way to speak about and remember her through the photos. It was just what she would have, and did, want.
Not knowing what physical condition your subject is in makes it difficult to suggest much - but I recommend trying to capture the look and essence of the person. Try to ignore the awkwardness and sadness - everyone realizes what the intent of the pictures are - remembering the life of the subject and what makes them special.
Good luck with it - and the sweet sadness of it...
Hope this helps in some respect...

[BabyHopes]

You have no idea how helpful your suggestions have been. The man is really someone who is pure joy. Always has been. I saw him two weeks ago at church and he was upfront laughing and joking about his bilirubin levels. Then I talked to my Dad last night and was left with the impression that he's not able to get out of bed. So, I'm going in with the assumption that he won't be able to sit up.

I'm calling the wife this morning to talk to her about anything specific that she'd like me to photograph and should have a better idea of how mobile her is after I speak with her.

[JPalmer]

I would also suggest turning these into b/w photos in post. The yellowing of the skin is so much more noticeable when you have someone who is healthy sitting next to them... and it seems like its' exaggerated in photos.

B/W would take away all of that distraction and leave you with simple emotion.

Also... (not knowing his physical state) make use of whatever natural light you may have if there's a window or whatnot. Perhaps something close of him looking out the window as if looking forward to the future.

[johnastovall]

You might want to look at how Annie Leibovitz did her series on the death of her lover, Susan Sontage and her father.

[BabyHopes]

I wanted to come back and update. Turns out the shoot was so much easier than I anticipated. The husband was up and about. In fact, we were able to do the session outside in a park. So, for all intents and purposes, it was not unlike most portrait sessions.

[carrbowl]

Those are nice...I did the same thing but with a child that was dying. Wish I knew as much then as I did now...but for families, they just want photos..This woman will treasure these...good job.

[CCGamer]

Thank you for the update. I'm glad it all turned out as well. I'm sure she will treasure these also...

[Allen]

Very nice. Had you not told us the story I wouldn't have even known the husband was sick. Excellent job.

[BabyHopes]

Thank you, the B/W conversion really does a good job of hiding jaundice. Although, I have a few that I think will pass well in color. I'm really excited to get the prints to them.

[LORatliff]

Wow, I think they're great. :) I'd love to see more.

[Jeff_Green]

These will mean the world to her. I found a picture of my mom and all the family that was taken the day before she passed away and it means so much to me and it was just a snapshot that someone took during Thanksgiving.

You did a great job.