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Posts: 413 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Jacksonville, NC, Real First Name: Heather Camera: 5D, xti Can Others Edit My Photos: Yes iTrader Rating: 0 LIKES Received: 0 LIKES Given: 0 |
05-19-2009, 12:43 PM
I like it because it is straight-forward
A few editing suggestions on the introduction which overall I think is really nicely-written:
Over the years I have either lived in, visited, or been deployed to over a dozen nations around the world including Mexico, France, Spain, Italy, China, Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore, Indonesia, Kuwait, and Iraq.
Maybe simplify this sentence to this?
My travels have left lasting impressions, including an appreciation for various artistic styles and a broader understanding of world cultures.
Pricing page:
I think this sentence is awkward:
With all offered services, I will discuss with you a variety of concepts and ideas in order to reach an agreement as to the desired feel and style of the session.
Estimates are available by request and will include detailed descriptions of all available options, as well as full disclosure of rates and included fees. |
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